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What keeps YOU from getting on that bus?
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2018-12-11 at 12:03 AM UTCI may not be a super-regular poster here at NIS, but of course I've picked up on a few narratives, and there's the whole story of Malice that comes up frequently. I've seen references to "getting on a/the bus" associated with suicide.
I checked out Malice's last thread, entitled, ever-so-simply, "Later".
I consider buying my own ticket every single day, at least once.
I imagine it's not too uncommon.
If you're reading this and the notion has never so much as crossed your mind, then we are of a different species.
The only thing that keeps me going, despite an overwhelming, emotionally crushing feeling all throughout my body, is hope that I won't always feel like this.
I'm holding on by that one single thread of hope. It keeps me going, day after day.
But I do fear that one day the thread will wear itself too thin.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-12-11 at 12:04 AM UTCincorrect changeThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-12-11 at 12:06 AM UTCI don't have time to get into it right now but it's essentially the same answer - hope. I have felt the highs of being who I really want to be and my brain "being right" and I just have hope that I can get back there again, because when I'm there, I absolutely do NOT want to suicide because I genuinely enjoy my life.
These days it's just hit or miss and I never know how I'm gonna fucking feel when I wake up and blah blah blah I gotta go back to work.
One love.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-12-11 at 12:07 AM UTCEvery fucking morning until I pop those pills
On my days off.. I just like sleeping in. "Where do we go when we dream"?
right now I'm in an ok mood and drinking a fat tall can of redbull with my buddie by my side.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-12-11 at 12:08 AM UTCMemories are one thing.
I said that my one thing is "hope", but I also like to reminisce on positive memories.
I try to relive them in my imagination as many times as I can so that the memories don't fade.
But it's also a bittersweet experience - the realization that these memories are but mere memories, existing only in the neural wiring of a few people (who happen to remember).
It hurts; but at the same time, it heals.
Like I said, bittersweet. -
2018-12-11 at 12:09 AM UTCThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-12-11 at 12:11 AM UTC
Originally posted by totse3.com Every fucking morning until I pop those pills
What kind of pills?
By all means, if you don't feel like divulging anything specific, I respect that.
I have a psychiatrist who has me on a high dose of SSRI's.
The irony of it is that it's to treat OCD and generalized anxiety, yet I feel almost like I've gotten more depressed ever since I started taking them. -
2018-12-11 at 12:13 AM UTC
Originally posted by mmQ I don't have time to get into it right now but it's essentially the same answer - hope. I have felt the highs of being who I really want to be and my brain "being right" and I just have hope that I can get back there again, because when I'm there, I absolutely do NOT want to suicide because I genuinely enjoy my life.
You summarize my whole philosophy on the matter perfectly.
Perhaps it's a relatively common way of coping, but knowing that there have once been good times, logically implies that there should be more in the future. Maybe not today, or tomorrow, or next week, or even this year, but good times can tend to come and go.
If I were to board the bus now, I may miss out.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-12-11 at 12:14 AM UTCI don't ever think about it anymore. My life is too awesome. I've got a lot I'm working on and a lot I look forward to. Got people who care about me, friends I'd trust with my life, a good family.
I might feel pretty shitty at times, but suicide is completely off the table. That shit is for lazy pussies who are unwilling to make the changes necessary to make them happy. Not saying the feeling makes you a pussy. Just the act. It's an odd mix of the cowardice of running away and the bravery of actually committing the act.
But in suicide you only need to be brave for a moment. To live you need to be brave all the time. -
2018-12-11 at 12:14 AM UTCask him for lexapro. it's one of two I take
i dont know if it's an SSRI it's more for mood I think. it just makes you not give a fuck and even makes you happy for a while.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-12-11 at 12:15 AM UTCalso unrelated but gabapentin is good for mood im told. I take those too. but they don't keep working all night.
the other pill is suppose to make me not want to die. i don't have the strong episodes but its there on certain occasions.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-12-11 at 12:16 AM UTCWhat was that one ssri that made men lactate? You should take that one gadzooks.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-12-11 at 12:17 AM UTC
Originally posted by totse3.com ask him for lexapro. it's one of two I take
i dont know if it's an SSRI it's more for mood I think. it just makes you not give a fuck and even makes you happy for a while.
Lexapro looks to be an SSRI.
SSRI's are primarily for managing mood. But studies have found that in really high doses, they can be effective in treating OCD, so that's why I'm prescribed them, just a different SSRI (Fluoxetine AKA Prozac). -
2018-12-11 at 12:23 AM UTC
Originally posted by gadzooks Lexapro looks to be an SSRI.
SSRI's are primarily for managing mood. But studies have found that in really high doses, they can be effective in treating OCD, so that's why I'm prescribed them, just a different SSRI (Fluoxetine AKA Prozac).
Prozac and Zoloft are dangerous. I thought one of them was taken off the market even. maybe Zoloft?The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-12-11 at 12:23 AM UTC
Originally posted by GGG But in suicide you only need to be brave for a moment. To live you need to be brave all the time.
I'm happy for you that you don't frequently dwell on these thoughts, and I appreciate your very Stoic words here.
But you have to consider why is bravery needed, simply to live life?
It seems a bit excessive that one needs to Stoically embrace each day as some kind of challenge. At what point is it logical/rational to just give up?
And everyone has their "giving up" point.
For most, physical pain, rather than psychological/emotional, can bring more salient examples of such.
Most people, on average, believe in euthanasia in certain circumstances.
Now, I'm not saying my suffering is the worst in the whole wide world or anything.
I'm just saying, that virtually everyone has a breaking point. -
2018-12-11 at 12:24 AM UTC
Originally posted by totse3.com Prozac and Zoloft are dangerous. I thought one of them was taken off the market even. maybe Zoloft?
Well, generally speaking, SSRI's have very similar mechanisms of action.
They all selectively inhibit serotonin reuptake (thus resulting in more serotonin in the brain).
I'm not even sure they differ too much in how they accomplish this. -
2018-12-11 at 12:24 AM UTCThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-12-11 at 12:27 AM UTC
Originally posted by aldra this might be the gayest thing you've ever said
I actually found it kind of profound, and succinctly put, but in a very Stoic way though.
I love the Stoics, I read Marcus Aurelius all the damn time like Christians read the bible.
But Stoicism can also be incredibly depressing at the same time. -
2018-12-11 at 12:28 AM UTC§m£ÂgØL has been reading Chicken Soup for the Soul and is insipired to write his next book Chicken Soup for Faggots
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2018-12-11 at 12:29 AM UTCHonestly only the pain it would cause my family and the thought of never having my cat fast asleep in my lap again. My friends husband passed away in a car accident last week who was only 30 and they have a son less than a year old. It didn’t even happen to me, but the unfairness of this tragedy made me understand why some people might pursue drugs until they get an early grave - less time on this planet witnessing complete and utter bull shit.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
