User Controls
Getting rid of problematic friends
-
2018-11-27 at 6:27 AM UTCHow have you accomplished this in the past?
One of my best friends in high school was kind of like Bill Krozby in that he was a shameless predator, but also a compulsive liar, marginally smooth, and rather attractive. Whenever I confronted him about his shitty behavior, he couldn't admit he'd done anything wrong. I stopped hanging out with him, but he couldn't take the hint so I full on ghosted the prick. He started showing up at my work and I'd duck behind the counter until he left fuming. Then he changed his running path so that he went by my house. Then, when I moved years later, he did it again. I have no clue how he got my new address, but I can't say I'm not flattered, even though it means he knows where I currently live and I don't know how. Ultimately I would say it was a successful disengagement, and I no longer have to worry about whether or not it's right to kill him. -
2018-11-27 at 6:31 AM UTCIn general i am the problematic friend.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
-
2018-11-27 at 6:33 AM UTCHe is either problematic, or hes a friend. Why not tell this person to fuck off? There is always a sharp knife laying around somewhere if you need to erase some mistakes.
-
2018-11-27 at 8:22 AM UTCIt sounds more like you have a stalker. Assuming you're giving him clear enough signals that his presence isn't desired, if he keeps following you around like this, you may have to be firm with him (giggity!), but be cautious if he already exhibits stalker-like behavior, because you never know how he'll react. You may even end up having to get a restraining order.
But, um, I don't think you have a green flag to kill him. WTF?
Just be direct, yet courteous, but without being ambiguous.
Either that or just move to a new town.
It's always fun to move to a new town.
I do it every few years. -
2018-11-27 at 8:27 AM UTCI'm pretty much incapable de-friending people. A couple of times in my life I've ended up with a "friend" that was either like super annoying or an anti-social jerk or autistic to the point of it being painful to go out in public with them or keep up a conversation for more than a minute but I never managed to get rid of these people short of life circumstances forcing a separation like moving away.
Kind of a different situation than OP since it's not so much them being shitty friends, just people with whom it is logistically very difficult to be friends with.
Like when I was in college this dude I had a few classes with started talking to me and we'd do assignments together now and then. He was pretty stereotypical nerdy, a little too into anime, thick glasses, dressed super awkwardly. But like that didn't bother me too much, I've had friends like that before, it was that he talked super fucking loud regardless of where he was. This one time we were standing in line at a restaurant and we were talking about Madoka Magica which I hadn't seen at the time, he was standing three feet away and practically yelling at me describing how a magical girl anime series was super deep and had dark undertones (to be fair that's actually not untrue, but it's really not something you need to broadcast in public). People were looking at us and it was super uncomfortable. I tried my damnedest to change the subject politely but no, he was going to tell me every detail of the plot for this anime if I wanted it or not. I should have walked away or something but I could bring myself to do it. Think about that feeling of like "fuck yeah, I'm the man" you get after you get laid, then imagine the opposite of that feeling, multiply it by a thousand, and that's what being associated with this dude felt like.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-11-27 at 8:34 AM UTCI'm honestly okay with so much shit but if someone talks loudly in public like that its a deal breaker for me. I hate obnoxious fucks like that who seem to have no social awareness whatsoever.
-
2018-11-27 at 8:40 AM UTC
Originally posted by Lanny Think about that feeling of like "fuck yeah, I'm the man" you get after you get laid, then imagine the opposite of that feeling, multiply it by a thousand, and that's what being associated with this dude felt like.
Got damn, that is some expressive imagery.
It helps create an image of what that scenario would be like.
I have had some quasi-nerdy friends, but not one into anime, as far as I know.
I have no clue whatsoever what "Madoka Magica" is. I'm sure it's incredibly entertaining and life enriching and all that, but I wouldn't even be able to start any kind of friendship like that because of sheer mutual incompatibility.
Interestingly, though, since I became a software developer, I have met quite a few true nerds (excessively introverted, enjoy anime, play video games on their weekends, etc). But I have a hard time taking things beyond "hey, you're a cool coworker" to "hey, let's be friends and hang out on weekends." -
2018-11-27 at 8:43 AM UTC
Hey pal! Did you get a load of that nerd? -
2018-11-27 at 8:45 AM UTC#MeToo them
-
2018-11-27 at 8:47 AM UTC
Originally posted by Zanick How have you accomplished this in the past?
One of my best friends in high school was kind of like Bill Krozby, in addition to being a compulsive liar.
for real though one of my best friends was like this, I just stopped interacting with him altogether. haven't seen him in years.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-11-27 at 8:51 AM UTC
Originally posted by aldra I just stopped interacting with him altogether. haven't seen him in years.
This really is the ultimate answer to OP's problem.
If you avoid someone long enough, they will eventually get the picture.
Or, for all you know, they find you just as annoying, and will be relieved.
Either way, unless they're Jim Carrey's character from The Cable Guy, they will eventually get the hint / give up. -
2018-11-27 at 3:19 PM UTC
-
2018-11-27 at 3:27 PM UTC
-
2018-11-27 at 4:52 PM UTCI do that on accident. Most of my friends were problematic in one way or another and I just, I dunno.
-
2018-11-27 at 5:05 PM UTCThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
-
2018-11-28 at 2:21 AM UTC
-
2018-11-28 at 3:49 AM UTCI have no problem getting away from problematic friends. I do the slow fade. Then poof, their gone.
I’d like to think I don’t haven’t had problematic friends, but I have before. I haven’t had to deal with that for awhile now. -
2018-11-28 at 1:36 PM UTC
Originally posted by Technologist I have no problem getting away from problematic friends. I do the slow fade. Then poof, their gone.
I’d like to think I don’t haven’t had problematic friends, but I have before. I haven’t had to deal with that for awhile now.
I do the slow fade with everyone, good people too! Oh yea!The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
