your favorite schizoid is back

1. 2015-12-02 at 1:47 AM UTC

   #1
   

   Dissociator African Astronaut
   so I took 1800mg of bundy and like 80mg of oxycodone, woke up feeling sober for 5 secs and suddenly ELECTRICITY EVERYWHERE didnt know what the fuck was going on or why everything smelled like sigma receptor but I apparently broke my dads nose and woke up in the holding unit at the triage but I don't remember half the shit that happened
   
   also the beuracracy seroquel'd the fuck out of me and now I can taste again
   
   I want to fuck a triangle
2. 2015-12-02 at 2:08 AM UTC

   #2
   

   kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
   mmmm i love the smell of sigma in the morning
3. 2015-12-02 at 4:54 AM UTC

   #3
   arthur treacher African Astronaut
   You physically struck the man who's ejaculate caused you to exist.
4. 2015-12-02 at 5:24 AM UTC

   #4
   

   kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
   pppssshhh you're not a man if you've never done that and then eaten some spam. I've gone to jail twice for fighting with my dad when i was 17, and we love each other now more than ever.
5. 2015-12-02 at 5:57 AM UTC

   #5
   

   Dissociator African Astronaut

   You physically struck the man who's ejaculate caused you to exist.

   
   and the man who mentally abused the woman he impregnated and who gave birth to me for 20 years
   and the man who has been telling me I was mentally ill since a young child and made me obsess over thoughts, i.e. if I think a curse word I'm going to hell. Said that shit to a 6 year old
   the man who regularly gave me benzodiazepines and enabled me causing my drug addiction to get worse
6. 2015-12-02 at 5:58 AM UTC

   #6
   Malice Naturally Camouflaged

   and we love each other now more than ever.

   
   Homos.
   
   Imagine if you pulled out your fully erect cock and went, "Hey, dad, look at how successful I turned out to be! And it's all thanks to your genes!"
   
   Depending on his personality, it could be really awkward, possibly even disturbing, with long-lasting consequences on your relationship, at least at first (you could always play it off as having been really drunk and laugh it off during a later father-son bonding experience, with the both of you drinking or smoking pot), but I'm sure that after some time, on some innate primal level, regardless of the type of father he was, he would feel really proud of you and know that you have a gift that will always bring you happiness. With a warm fatherly smile on his face your memory would arise in his mind and he'd think, "Even if he loses everything, he'll always have the giant cock most men can only dream of, and I know he'll be alright."
7. 2015-12-02 at 6:11 AM UTC

   #7
   

   Dissociator African Astronaut
   malice lay off the fluorinated amphetamines
8. 2015-12-02 at 6:20 AM UTC

   #8
   

   aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition

   Imagine if you pulled out your fully erect cock and went, "Hey, dad, look at how successful I turned out to be! And it's all thanks to your genes!"

   
   I don't care if I have to explain it that's going in my code
9. 2015-12-02 at 8:29 AM UTC

   #9
   Malice Naturally Camouflaged

   malice lay off the fluorinated amphetamines

   
   I wish I had some. Goddamn China ban. Can you imagine if I was anywhere near my peak?
10. 2015-12-02 at 9:12 AM UTC

    #10
    Malice Naturally Camouflaged

    I don't care if I have to explain it that's going in my code

    
    
    Aldra, pretend you're me, make a managerial decision: you find this, what would you do?
    
    [pauses] Well, I gotta tell you: I'd be very, very careful who you talk to about that, because the person who wrote that... is dangerous.
    [Gets up from the chair]
    [Talking slowly] And this button-down, Oxford-cloth psycho might just snap, and then stalk from office to office with an Armalite AR-10 carbine gas-powered semi-automatic weapon, pumping round after round into colleagues and co-workers. This might be someone you've known for years. Someone very, very close to you.