My cat turns on the stove when I'm not home

1. 2018-11-12 at 1:55 PM UTC

   #1
   

   kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
   It's kind of scary, I came home yesterday morning and after being away for the night and my gas stove was on, no flame just the gas on. For the most part he's cute and a joy to be around. But sometimes obviously up to no good. Like the other night I was in bed with my lady friend and he opens my bedroom door wearing a nose ring and a skeletonwitch shirt holding a mountain dew and screams "I EAT UR MOM ERRRR NIGHT FLY BOY!" and starts manically laughing.
   
   When I first got him two years ago the adoption lady said he was taken back to the shelter because he was beating up the peoples toddler, I said something really cheeky like "the brat prolly deserved it hehehehe" little did I know what I was in for.
   
   Later that week I was taking a nap during the day as I had a night job and was listening to coast to coast with george snoory on my lappy and I rolled over half asleep ontop of my cat and he started clawing my belling and I freaked out and shoved him off my bed, 5 min later the podcast stopped and I awakened more and was like wtf what happen to the podcast?!
   and my cat was just staring at me with a shit eating grin and then ran away.
   
   I had to go to best buy to buy a new laptop cord and I hate best buy.
   
   After I had him for 2 days I decided he needed a bath and he got bathed but he also scratched the hell out of me and we didn't talk for like 2 days.
   
   Anyone else here have a cat?
   
   
   
   
2. 2018-11-12 at 2:08 PM UTC

   #2
   

   Jiggaboo_Johnson Black Hole
   Yes. I got mine declawed...so now the fucker just bites me instead.
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • Bueno
3. 2018-11-12 at 2:10 PM UTC

   #3
   

   kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink

   Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson Yes. I got mine declawed…so now the fucker just bites me instead.

   
   Yeah my cat bites me when I'm on the crapper, he bites my bare thighs and jumps in my calvin klein micro-fiber bikini briefs while their around my cankles.
4. 2018-11-12 at 2:12 PM UTC

   #4
   

   Jiggaboo_Johnson Black Hole
   Dat pussy always tryin to get in yo pants huh
5. 2018-11-12 at 2:13 PM UTC

   #5
   

   kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink

   Originally posted by Jiggaboo_Johnson Dat pussy always tryin to get in yo pants huh

   
   Pretty much, I just had a slammer offer to take me out to whatever restaurant I wanted if I would go back to her place afterwards, I had to decline the offer.
6. 2018-11-12 at 2:28 PM UTC

   #6
   

   Jiggaboo_Johnson Black Hole
   Back in England we call those "slappers"
   
   slapper
   an ugly girl whose main priority in life is to get fucked
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • kroz
7. 2018-11-12 at 2:31 PM UTC

   #7
   

   Jiggaboo_Johnson Black Hole
   Then there is the munter
   
   
   munter
   A woman of such hidious physical apperance that one would rather scour ones eyes out than snatch a glimps of her. So deformed and devoid of any attractive atributes that to beat her to death with her own shoes would be an act of mercy and deemable of a sainthood.
8. 2018-11-12 at 2:32 PM UTC

   #8
   

   PrettyHateMachine African Astronaut
   He's trying to kill himself
   Living with you is hell
9. 2018-11-12 at 2:48 PM UTC

   #9
   

   kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink

   Originally posted by PrettyHateMachine He's trying to kill himself
   Living with you is hell

   
   lol you're an idiot, he loves all the pussy i bring over, plus he knows how to excape my place for the lulz but just waits by the door because he knows where his food it.
10. 2018-11-12 at 5:18 PM UTC

    #10
    DontTellEm Black Hole
    That video is extremely disturbing. SMH.
11. 2018-11-12 at 5:24 PM UTC

    #11
    

    Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
    Flick your lighter whenever you enter the house, if it flares up a lot you know it's been on for a while.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • GGG
12. 2018-11-12 at 5:33 PM UTC

    #12
    

    vindicktive vinny Black Hole

    Originally posted by Bill Krozby Yeah my cat bites me when I'm on the crapper, he bites my bare thighs and jumps in my calvin klein micro-fiber bikini briefs while their around my cankles.

    
    is this products placement ?
13. 2018-11-12 at 7:29 PM UTC

    #13
    

    kroz weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink

    Originally posted by Zanick Flick your lighter whenever you enter the house, if it flares up a lot you know it's been on for a while.

    
    nah sounds like a bad idea to me, panick.