*Sigh* I just got caught trying to steal some condoms

1. 2016-09-22 at 9:28 PM UTC

   #1
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   I was gonna try seeing if they would sell on ebay, I wasn't even gonna bang with them. Ah shit... Now everyone's gonna think i'm a total fag, and i'll also get laughed out of the court. And I was just about to get a past crime of mine expunged too... Yeah, i'm killing myself... I guess i'll like...do a smash grab and run at a gun store and then go commit a bunch of robberies until I get caught and then shoot myself in the head. Then at least people will think "well, he was a total fag but at least he went out badass"
2. 2016-09-22 at 9:50 PM UTC

   #2
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   How did you manage to get caught
3. 2016-09-22 at 9:52 PM UTC

   #3
   

   Sophie Pedophile Tech Support
   Selling condoms on eBay is a pretty lame scheme, why don't you just sell drugs instead.
4. 2016-09-22 at 10:15 PM UTC

   #4
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   How did you manage to get caught

   
   They must had seen me pick up the condoms and then saw me later without them, And I couldn't run cause they'd already grabbed my arm. :(
5. 2016-09-22 at 10:18 PM UTC

   #5
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   Selling condoms on eBay is a pretty lame scheme, why don't you just sell drugs instead.

   
   Yeah I know I was gonna see if they actually sell and figured it'd be pure profit if I got em free. Fuck, why didnt I just go to a place where they give them out free, or slug a condom quarter machine. *slaps myself*
6. 2016-09-22 at 10:27 PM UTC

   #6
   

   bling bling Dark Matter
   act mentally retarded do u have any diagnosises
7. 2016-09-22 at 11:54 PM UTC

   #7
   

   Semiazas Tuskegee Airman
   Do you have any priors? I used to steal as a 2nd income, 6 figures retail, at least. Got popped for a $2 bar. I got 24 hours comm service, a $200 fine, 6 hours jail which I completed after sentencing, and 2 2 hour shoplifting classes, totaling $70. Oh and $150 probation. All to be done in 90 days. Hit my wallet but the case was dismissed and no more jail time. I did the CS and classes right away so I got off probation as soon as my first vistit.
8. 2016-09-23 at 12:14 AM UTC

   #8
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   They must had seen me pick up the condoms and then saw me later without them, And I couldn't run cause they'd already grabbed my arm. :(

   
   This is when you turn your petty theft into assault.
9. 2016-09-23 at 12:20 AM UTC

   #9
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   grabbed my arm. :(

   
   Thats when you reach in your pocket for ground nutmeg/mace/glass, blow it in their eyes and yell TASTE THE ISOSCELES!!!!!.
10. 2016-09-23 at 12:29 AM UTC

    #10
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Great, now my local news published my name and picture, and said I was charged for stealing condoms. It was on the T.V. and it's on the site too. It's like they're trying to get me to kill myself.
11. 2016-09-23 at 12:37 AM UTC

    #11
    Malice Naturally Camouflaged

    Great, now my local news published my name and picture, and said I was charged for stealing condoms. It was on the T.V. and it's on the site too. It's like they're trying to get me to kill myself.

    
    
    I'm going to find this and extort you. Pony up or everyone you love and care about, anyone whose knowledge of this could hurt you, will know, along with it being leaked to the site.
12. 2016-09-23 at 1:11 AM UTC

    #12
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Lol I think trying to extort Actor is a fruitless endeavor, he was trying to steal condoms for profit, after all.
13. 2016-09-23 at 1:25 AM UTC

    #13
    Malice Naturally Camouflaged
    He can whore himself out for all I care.
14. 2016-09-23 at 2:11 AM UTC

    #14
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Wow. I don't steal anymore (except when I don't have money), but I only got caught when I got cocky. And even then I was grassed out by a customer in the queue rather than the staff. Man I had a good alcohol hustling ring going on for a while. They were slack, when they arrested me I had already stole a bottle of wine, they didn't take it off me and I was drinking it in the back of the van when they were giving me a lift home
15. 2016-09-23 at 5:04 AM UTC

    #15
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole

    Great, now my local news published my name and picture, and said I was charged for stealing condoms. It was on the T.V. and it's on the site too. It's like they're trying to get me to kill myself.

    
    Bullshit. link it or your fucking making this up.
    
    Also gangstalking at its tinest.
    Also get gud.
    
    http://niggasin.space/forum/half-baked/82959-shoplifting-from-a-grocery-store-i-m-a-horrible-thief
    
16. 2016-09-23 at 5:18 AM UTC

    #16
    

    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    I believe you.
17. 2016-09-23 at 5:19 AM UTC

    #17
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    
18. 2016-09-23 at 5:32 AM UTC

    #18
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    I FUCKING KNEW IT!!!. THERE IS NO WAY YOU WOULD BE ON TEEVEE. I have actually made TV news before and even pissed off my governor. GET GUD!!!
19. 2016-09-23 at 5:44 AM UTC

    #19
    

    Semiazas Tuskegee Airman
    There is a "gotcha" list in some newspapers.
    
    If this is your 1st, a 2nd, whatever the offense is gonna be for sure jail time. 3 rd strike, even if just a piece of gum, or a little weed is a felony.