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If you HAD to kill any one person on the planet

  1. #1
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    or not kill but have them die, ya know, you have to choose one person to die, who would it be?

    I asked this to my friendo Shannon tonight and she gave the most adorable answer I wasn't expecting it she said "my grandma" and I obviously was like WTF and she said cuz her grandma is always in pain and secretly just wants to die so she can go be with her dead husband.

    But yeah.... I don't even know who I'd choose Im just thinking out loud. I really dont have ANYONE that I would want to die. Like saying jill would be easy but I don't even want that. Maybe myself? But that's not allowed in my question. So if I had to answer I guess I'd say uhhhh


    FUCK. I really have no clue. I have never had a die hard enemy. Im thinkng really hard about this right now and I can't think of someone. I guess maybe Dennis my old boss who payed me 10 bucks an yhour for busting my ass but he has family and shit so I'd feel bad.

    Maybe I'd go the same route as Shannon and just choose my grandpa or something, he's getting close to being dead anyway. But that feels really bad to say. But if I had to, I guess. What a stupid question. I HATE ME@!
  2. #2
    DontTellEm Black Hole
    So do I.

    U keep saying "I just don't get it, I don't know why, I was on drugs, it came across wrong."

    Ur a weirdo.
  3. #3
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Thanks for the compliment.
  4. #4
    -SpectraL coward [the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
    I'd probably ask them all if any of them wanted to go first.
  5. #5
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by -SpectraL I'd probably ask them all if any of them wanted to go first.

    you have to choose one person and you can't ask them anything.
  6. #6
    🐿 African Astronaut
    Rosie
  7. #7
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    O'donnel? or however its spelled
  8. #8
    Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
    I'd really rather nobody died, but if it's got to be one person, I pick one of my closest friends from high school in particular. I came to realize over time that he's a fucking revolting vampire. But I won't just choose him to die, I'll befriend him again and gain his trust. That will prove easy because he's unendingly thirsty for victims and will do anything to have a shot at my throat for any length of time.

    One night, I invite him over for a bonfire on my deck to celebrate our renewed comradery and right when I see him inching closer to bite my fucking neck I get up and offer him a beer. He doesn't drink, so he asks if he can have a glass of water. This isn't his moment, not yet. I happily oblige and step into the kitchen to fill the glass, but then I bless the water. I'm a licensed minister in the State of Illinois, so our water from Lake Michigan falls distinctly within my divine jurisdiction. He doesn't know this about me, so he has no reason at all to think that I might serve him holy water.

    Now he's getting out his phone to show me nudes he got from a retarded girl he conned into sex, and I can tell he really wants to bite me because he's telling me how thirsty he is because he ran here, he runs everywhere because he's a runner, so I remind him that he's got water in his hand. He hastily downs the glass in a few gulps. Soon after, he falls over and begins gasping and hemorrhaging. Only now does he notice the wet paint: he's in the middle of a large weaving of religious symbols which command great power in their sum. He is convulsing and bleeding from his brain and helpless.

    I read to him from a list of sins that I remember him committing in high school, and a few that the Lord's judgment can prosecute based on what I've put together from snooping on his Facebook activity. I pound a stake into his heart and burn the body. Now he's going to Hell, and I can try to leverage this unique experience into a clergy role outside of administrative positions within the Universal Life Church.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  9. #9
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    I'm really fucked up on a MYRIDAD of things and can't quite comprehend that story but I read it twice and I think it's so cool, reminds me of the time unwred hasked me if he could lick my brainstem and I was like no thats digusting but now, I want to lick YOURS. mine is shit now i'd be embqarrased ot let someone lick mine like if you wanna lose 20 iq points go ahead. Zanick you fucking cucklord I wish I was the vampire in that story except

    If I was the vampire you wouldn't have ever known it, and you wouldn't have been stringng me along because obviously I wouold've been strining you along. You sit there with our glasses of wine, we're just two M8s, just like now, two fucking m8s having a wine together and talking about how we met online and how we're together in person and how it's weird and funny and we have laughs and maybe give each other a fist bump while we continue to drink but

    of course then after the 4rth fist bump when we're just totally feeling jovial and nice and so happy with one another and comfortable and almost wanting to fuck even though we aren't gay we still want to but you move into me to try and kiss my cheek or some gay shit and i push you away and say "what the fuck dude" but I laugh, ya know, I laugh like hahah you were kidding right? and you say hahahhaa yeah I was jsut kidding

    then we talk more and then

    I just wait for you to go to bed and I fucking devour you, sexually, but you never even knew in the morning due to the cocktail of GHB I put in your drinks the night before etc
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  10. #10
    Ghost Black Hole
    I have an arch Nemesis and my plan is to wait until he builds a life for himself, has a wife and kids, then I kick his door in, tie them all up and take his furniture and copper wire from the walls and vanish.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  11. #11
    DontTellEm Black Hole
    Dumb.
  12. #12
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by Ghost I have an arch Nemesis and my plan is to wait until he builds a life for himself, has a wife and kids, then I kick his door in, tie them all up and take his furniture and copper wire from the walls and vanish.

    yes i remember his picture I'll never forget it
  13. #13
    HTS highlight reel
    I'd choose Drumpf. Or maybe Kavanaugh. Some evil old white man who's destroying America and oppressing women and minorities anyway.
  14. #14
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by DontTellEm Dumb.

    have I ever told you how clever I think you are, like how you type that = "dumb" like that's smart, even though you're maybe trying to be simple minded and just type something stupid cuz you can't think of anything better to add, I know that actually you could add so much more but you can't be bothered to so you just type "dumb" and remind us that you are able to do more , it's mind boggling to me sometimes how fucking smart you are and why you'r even gracing us with your presence. Sorry for ever being mean to you at any point I look forward to more of your future plays on words and subtle intraciceiss you shrewd little foo fooo
  15. #15
    DontTellEm Black Hole
    Thanks.
    I added to in my other post --check that.
  16. #16
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Originally posted by DontTellEm Thanks.
    I added to in my other post –check that.

    link?
  17. #17
    DontTellEm Black Hole
    No
  18. #18
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    NICE. nice nice ncie tight ight gtight
  19. #19
    D4NG0 motherfucker
    Elena Kagan
  20. #20
    trippymindfuk African Astronaut
    Originally posted by Ghost I have an arch Nemesis and my plan is to wait until he builds a life for himself, has a wife and kids, then I kick his door in, tie them all up and take his furniture and copper wire from the walls and vanish.

    Fun goals
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