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tore myself a new asshole
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2016-02-04 at 6:48 PM UTC
Ive been seeing a new girl recently that I really like, I've hung out with her twice prior to last night, once at my work , the other time at a bar, then at my place, but we didn't have sex, because she claimed she was on her period. I didn't really care, since I have no expectations and was having fun anyways, plus we are going to go see wavves/best coast together in a week.
Yesterday, I'm downtown on my day off picking up my check and she text me asking if I'd come hang with her after she gets back from the comic book shop, I agree. I go to fiesta and eat some fried chicken , pound some malt liquor while listening to carcass.
I get to her place and she puts on "archer", I tell her I don't like that show, and she gives me 60mg of Adderall If I agree to go with it, so I do.. she bust out some jim bean and we start taking shots. Between the Adderall and jim bean, I get really horny, I go to the bathroom and completely undress, I come back out to show her what I'm all about.
I start power fucking her on her couch, I lose my footing on the couch, and step off of it with one foot onto her cat (which ironically has the same name as my cat, Bubba) It scratches me and I lose my footing even more, and end up landing on her dragon statue that holds up a glass table top, I completely shatter the glass table top and I'm laying butt naked in glass, we both freak out, I end up laying for an hour and a half on her cold wood floor with her bleed profusely from my ass, while she's crying telling me I need to go to the hospital, I end up fucking her again, but her feet just keep banging into my ass and it really hurts and the blood smells. We are both a lil more sober at this point she drives me to the hospital in my car which is conveniently across the street.
I end up getting 12 stiches in my ass and a tetanus shot, she tells her mom and her sister what happened over the phone while we are in the ER. They said they'd like to meet me.
We end up going back to her place, fuck a few times and then nap. I woke up around 11am because my ass hurt so bad since I wasn't drunk anymore and tell her I will see her later.
kinda crazy right? Everything was going well until it wasn't then it got better, now I don't feel so good again cause my ass hurts and I'm just laying in bed.
http://imgur.com/RUJXD0F
http://imgur.com/ublR8U4
http://imgur.com/mXzrfE9
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2016-02-04 at 7:10 PM UTC
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2016-02-04 at 7:21 PM UTCI don't know what to post here. I'll have to let this one sink in first...
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2016-02-04 at 7:26 PM UTCYou..... you.. took a selfie?! With a bloody ass and a nasty hoe.....
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2016-02-04 at 7:28 PM UTChella gross lolz
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2016-02-04 at 7:40 PM UTC
You….. you.. took a selfie?! With a bloody ass and a nasty hoe…..
I was fucked up man, Adderall is a helluva drug! She's not nasty she actually cares about me. -
2016-02-04 at 8:38 PM UTCI was expecting some kind of buttplay gone wrong story. I'm disappointed.
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2016-02-04 at 8:42 PM UTCThat's actually....pretty fucking radical Bill Krozbyzy. Nice pics.
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2016-02-04 at 10:34 PM UTCSo what you are saying is you put a highlighter up your ass and had to get it surgically removed?
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2016-02-05 at 12:45 AM UTC"Hey dad, I'm nervous for my second date. What was your second date with mom like?"
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2016-02-05 at 2:22 AM UTCDidn't read.
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2016-02-05 at 2:30 AM UTCYou know you did =) ^^
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2016-02-05 at 2:35 AM UTCIs that... red hair I see on her? Gross. But cool stitches.
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2016-02-05 at 2:36 AM UTC
You know you did =) ^^
In all seriousness though, I'm glad you ended up fucking that girl. -
2016-02-05 at 2:40 AM UTCThe irony betwixt the lack of sexual intercourse due to her period blood and you two end up fucking on a bed of bloody glass shards with a gaping wound in your asshole or whatever. *hah*
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2016-02-05 at 2:56 AM UTC^yes, I know... I know..
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2016-02-05 at 2:57 AM UTC
Is that… red hair I see on her? Gross. But cool stitches.
I prefer girls with blonde/red hair. -
2016-02-05 at 3:11 AM UTC
.
you would know a thing or two about being a fuccboi, guy who lives at his grand fathers house pretending on tc that he is going to join the navy. Maybe one day tort you will actually grow a cock and brain, and finally one day get laid. (besides making your mouth useful for your grandpapa since you can't actually pay rent) -
2016-02-05 at 3:11 AM UTCspeed and booze +1
Your doing great kid keep it up,enjoy it while your young.
Last week I vaped some weed and fell off the toilet . -
2016-02-05 at 11:29 AM UTC
"Hey dad, I'm nervous for my second date. What was your second date with mom like?"
He doesn't think that far and it's pissing me off. Get your shit together, Bill Krozby. This lifestyle is killing you, bro. I'm not even joking.
