2015-10-01 at 2:06 PM UTC
When does it end? Is this what dopamine receptor damage from psychostimulants is like? I'll never feel awake and interested in things again?
I knew I shouldn't have scored 190 on that IQ test.
2015-10-01 at 2:54 PM UTC
Anhedonia, depression, low energy, low motivation are all signs of decreased DA/NE receptor function. Real withdrawal shouldn't last more than a couple weeks.
2015-10-01 at 3:13 PM UTC
it can take a long time to get back to normal, even after withdrawal. your brain has to adjust to doing normal things for a while, then youll start getting pleasure out of those things again
2015-10-01 at 5:30 PM UTC
You will never feel joy again.
2015-10-03 at 11:21 PM UTC
Dude, 9mebc. Get nooted up, expand beyond what you can acquire at the grocery store. Christmas is coming up, your family isn't that poor, are they? They can afford a meager celebration at least? I understand if they aren't, I remember not receiving any presents because they didn't have enough money, hardly receiving anything even when they did. Fucking irresponsible poor people, they shouldn't have children.
Anyway, your parents are aspies, particularly your dad, right? Print out or link him/show him some pages with relevant information and ask if you can get nootropics for Christmas instead, that you want to have a chance at normalcy and neurological recovery rather than the patchwork treatments and ineffective garbage from mainstream pharma.
2015-10-04 at 4:25 AM UTC
4 months gone from etizolam addiction, still getting withdrawals. Most of the nasty physical symptoms are gone or diminished to the point I don't recognize them. Still have hand tremors very frequently. Memory is still dodgy but vastly improved. Critical thinking skills are still shit but they were shit to begin with so I don't know where "me" and the withdrawl symptoms meet on that front. Main thing now is just depression which of course is a culmination of a hundred things which all suck. I think being dependent on benzos (any drug really) for any and every social situation has caused the most damage. I've been just throwing myself into uncomfortable unfamiliar situations to try and restore myself back into society, but thats hard sometimes with the depression you know. A lot of times my brain will like just shut the fuck down on me and all I can do is put on a 1000 yard stare and I feel like an autistic toddler or something. I mumble a lot now as well, and have trouble with volume control of my voice. It feel like I'm shouting someone down but it's still too low for them to hear. I think that has more to do with my self-esteem being at an all time low rather than actual brain damage though. Just seems logical when you rely on chemical confidence for so long then go without you are going to have self esteem problems.
I believe I will be normal again in due time. I'm not dead though, so that's cool.
2015-10-04 at 11:04 AM UTC
It seems like all supplements pale in comparison to a big three of Cerebrolysin..Semax..and Selank. Order those. Anything like pircetam or tiantepine is baby shit relatively. I'm intramuscularly administering liquefied pig brains for self sufficiency I told you I was hardcore.
Don't know the source but I read someone mention a study where dopamine receptors are 80% as active compared to controls after 18 months of abstinence from methamphetamine. D-amphetamine isn't as powerful and has less neurotoxic potential but it's only been 3 months. I'd guess my D receptors are at 30-40% their previous function at this point.
2015-10-04 at 12:04 PM UTC
Good god sploo, how much longer can you put up with that level of control, with them interfering in your life, people you don't even like or are able to relate to, who you would never speak to if they weren't family, which you didn't choose, being set on a path you don't want and can't imagine living? You have to plan your escape. But don't flounder and fall into complacency like I did, because it's just too easy to survive in the modern first world era, there's no longer any challenge in it. Keep running and don't stop, don't look back.
You're going to die if you don't.
2015-10-04 at 7:37 PM UTC
I remember looking at some brain scans a while back of a chronic cocaine user's brain scans and a normal person's scans. They were both compared a year later after the cocaine user's complete abstinence and while the cocaine user's brain scan improved probably by about 40% he still had ages to go before his brain would be comparable to the non-drug abusers brain if the one year results were any type of valid measure of improvement. I honestly wish I was exaggerating on this. Good luck.
2015-10-05 at 1:41 AM UTC
Sploo is at his parents mercy until he finds a place to live and a way to make food and spice money. That is the reality of the situation. There really isn't much more to say, the ball is pretty much in his court. And in this day and age, you pretty much have to work 2 minimum wage jobs to even keep your head above water, unless you are living on someone's couch. Not to mention having a car and the upkeep. Sploo might be able to use his mental issues to malinger his way into some sort of crazy check, but I haven't seen anything that indicates that he has the attention span or capacity to find out how to qualify for that kind of thing.
2015-10-11 at 3:38 PM UTC
I can't wait to see sploos parents finally kick him out and him die in the streets.
2015-10-12 at 3:49 AM UTC
He won't die, it's too easy to survive in first world countries.
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