For over a year i started working hard and saving money and cut back driking and was proud that i had a hot gf. I would do tec and brown boy but sporadically. I actually loved her but i lost it. I started doing tec and brown boy all the time for the last 3 months and its fucked up because i still save money and pay the bills and go to shows but i was way happier with erica.
I met a girl online 2 nights ago and she was pretty adament about meeting me (im on a roll) and weve done simple things like go to whataburger for breakfest and i told her im an alcholic (i haven't done any tec for a 2 weeks and brown boi for over month) and she gave me some gabba and kpin to help me quit drinking.
She just moved here from D.C. and she's alright but i fucked her anyways because she wanted to and i felt selfish for talking about my problems to her.
I move from job to job here in austin for more money and its actually worked out for me but i hate seeing the same people over and over again. like after work i will go to my neighborhood bar and there is that guy that i don't like. and we will talk but im sick of it.
i've thought about killing myself but im going to take a step forward and do the right thing. with the gaba it iwill help me with my withdrawals. because i drink so much that if i don't drink i just lay in bed shivering for hours and then have to get up and go to work after having a 3 hour.
I'm glad that i know that girl so i can fuck her for her drugs because i need them. It's really hard to dry out of alcohol.
Whenever I start doing the right thing i get more money and better myself but then lose at the same time. I thought i was doing something right.
when i woke up i went to the fridge for a sparkling water in the dark. i opned the can b4 i realizerd it was a beer and i had a crisis if i should drink it or not because i only wanted a warter.
i think we all know what happened next
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