Went to the dentist today and got 2 cavities filled. I don't have any others becus I'm a good boy.
I use to go in there and nod out in the chair because I was on Xanax and other such vitamins. This time when I in, I look at the receptionist, his wife, and she meets my smile and hi with a *Oh...it's you* type smirk. Alright, whatever. A younger hygienist came through the door and called me back. I don't remember if she worked on my teeth before or not, but I know she hadn't done so recently.
She looks at me apprehensively, but I give her a genuine smile and greeting. The way I see it, it could've gone either way here; she could have chosen to be a bitch (which I couldn't blame her given my past behavior there), or she could choose to accept the greeting and reciprocate my genuity, like a good person. She did the latter, and I know she didn't expect to at first, but I think I disarmed her to the point of surprise. We talked and told jokes.
She was fun, I like her.
Then my dentist and his right-hand veteran hygienist come in, and I can tell right away that both of them moderately hate me. They speak in a weird standoffish tone when they're talking to me, they don't want to make eye contact, don't return my politeness, and talk negatively about the topics at hand. They ease up somewhat as I continue making easy conversation throughout the visit, but they keep bringing up awkward, negative things like AFOAF of his dying in an off-roading accident. Again, I can't really blame them for their disposition against me based on my past visits. Also I went to college with his niece a couple years ago and she thought I was an alcoholic (I wasn't really, but I don't mind).
What was uncalled for though, was when I was in the chair and he was doing something and kept telling me to swallow every 10 seconds when my throat was completely dry. Also He got kind of offended when I told him the filling didn't feel right and he had to reset it.
The biggest thing though is that for my cavities he didn't even offer novacaine, he just whipped out the drill and went ham. Which is fine, it isn't very painful, but generally they at least offer it.
Anyway, I'm getting a new dentist because clearly this guy does not want to work on my teeth anymore, and it takes me an hour to get there anyway. He is a damn good dentist though. Was pretty nice to me too before I Broke my Brain Volume I.
I didn't feel anxious and retarded today though. I think my PAWS is starting to get significantly better, albeit in odd spurts. For the first time in years, I had next to no social anxiety anywhere I went. I'm realizing Xanax actually made my anxiety exponentially worse and made me functionally retarded.
Was at the mall dressed like shit asking for a personal preference on a type of cologne from this bowling ball tittied sales associate and she was happy to help because I genuinely wasn't being awkward about it. Told wholesome jokes getting groceries. Felt a commraderie with pretty much everyone I met today. People wanted to talk to me today, presumably because I was able to speak like a truly decent person. It was nice.
I don't fucking know I guess I'm not as introverted as I thought I was, I was just inebriated to shreds 24/7 for a few years. Or maybe that crack from last night has REEEAALLY REAAALLLY LONG legs.
Told you it was Bill Krozby tier
