2016-11-02 at 5:07 AM UTC
Do you know what causes depression? Anxiety? Heartbreak?
I'll tell you what. Things like empathy, compassion, love, and kindness.
Last year I did a lot of mdma -- like, a LOT... all throughout the year. I also had my first and only girlfriend. A combination of those two things made me stop being mean. I had retrospectively ridiculous "revelations" that I should start being nice to people. And boy, did it make me a quivering little faggot!
Every second of my life... "a-am I doing the right thing? Is this morally correct? I hope I don't hurt their feelings. Is this going to impact the universe positively?"
For the past few days since I didn't go to that concert, I wondered why my anxiety and depression has been down, and I just realized why. Because I renounced fitting in. I'm not going to be part of this shitty pseudo-moral society anymore. I'm going back to the old Enter.
And I ACTED on it. I pretended to be gay and fucked with a bunch of gay guys for kicks. The old, empathetic, loving Enter wouldn't do something like that. And it felt good fucking with people just to stroke my own ego.
They're the ones messaging me, putting themselves on the line, asking if they want to hook up. I'm the one with the power, and the self-worth, who laughs as he deletes the message. Sure, maybe in the future I'll reach the point where I reply telling them to fuck themselves instead. I'm slowly transitioning back into Evil Enter.
Did you know throughout the past year I actually had anxiety about the old me? I would feel horrified about some of the acts I used to do to people. How is that a way to live?
I would read stories of tragedies in the news and feel like shit. How is that a way to live?
I would repress what I actually wanted to say to people just to be "nice". How is that a way to live?
Morality is weakness. I am becoming evil again... and I love it.
2016-11-02 at 5:34 AM UTC
You don't know what "a LOT" of MDMA is.
Your shitty insecurities don't justify a moral error theory any more when experienced as a fake e-tard than when being an edgelord.
You're neurotic as shit and your life would at least be a little better if you could realize that fact and grow out of your middle school misanthropy.
2016-11-02 at 5:41 AM UTC
aldra
JIDF Controlled Opposition
posts like this are the kind of thing that littered angsty livejournals when I was in high school
you're not a psychopath; you would not survive or want to survive in a world where morality was nonexistent
you need to find a balance between your needs and desires and the standards of whatever group you feel you need to associate with - you're not able to satisfy all of them alone, so you need to comply with the needs of the others you rely upon, one way or another. I don't think you're the type to desire complete isolation.
or you could just kill yourself. fuck I don't know.
2016-11-02 at 11:32 AM UTC
This is why i come here good entertainment while pooping on company time
2016-11-02 at 12:09 PM UTC
OP, you sound like the ugliest son of a bitch I've ever heard.
2016-11-02 at 12:09 PM UTC
Who's this? YOU sound like the physical manifestation of some loser's inner demons.
2016-11-02 at 12:10 PM UTC
Well you sound like some total chode's inability to confront of the reality of his past actions.
2016-11-02 at 12:11 PM UTC
Looks like I already did.
2016-11-02 at 12:12 PM UTC
You're the sad figment of my twisted psyche's tragic dividend.
2016-11-02 at 12:13 PM UTC
I'm the REAL me, you wanna-be me.
2016-11-02 at 12:14 PM UTC
Kiddo, I was the real me when you were still in my short pants.
2016-11-02 at 12:14 PM UTC
Hate to break it to you, but I wore them first.
2016-11-02 at 12:15 PM UTC
You'd like me to be you, wouldn't me?
2016-11-02 at 12:16 PM UTC
Listen, this psyche is not big enough for two metaphysical seekers.
2016-11-02 at 12:16 PM UTC
You couldn't seek your way out of a cardboard bag.
2016-11-02 at 12:18 PM UTC
You're about as deep as a bowl of soup, and your tongue is about as sharp as a soup spoon.
