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I am leaving
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2018-08-03 at 12:25 PM UTCDear Niggas, Zokleteers, Totseans, DHers and everyone else
First of all, this is not a "fuck yalls".
I hope you can read this and take something away for yourself. As is the nature of this community, you will definitely make light of this, and that is why I love you all. But please consider it quietly for yourself as well.
Over the past few weeks I have felt a lot of different emotions about a lot of different things. One of the primary subjects of my considerations has been the topic of who I am and why i do amything I do.
Ultimately, my goal is to be happy. Anything I do must serve this goal in the short or long term. If something isnt making me happy, or its making me unhappy, then it is in my best interest to do something else.
But life is more complex than that. Some things make us happy but also hold us back.
I came to thinking about why I participate in forums and social media at all. And I realized that for me, it was because I was an informational sponge and the type of information I could recieve, the ideas I could expose myself to and espouse, in cyberspace was so much more open than in meatspace. In particular, I found this in Totse and Zoklet. I found Totse through some tutorials that popped up on a search engine, and I found something way bigger than that. It allowed me to express aspects of my true inner self with far greater freedom than anywhere else. Thats why I ised these forums.
Recently however, I have lost joie de vivre. Something is missing and I think it is because I am not allowed by society to bring many aspects of my personality into my daily life. I have grown and fleshed these aspects out in this community, and they are not all positive or negative, but they are an important part of me and I cannot live any longer as two, three, four different people.
More importantly, I use this place as a place of comfort; some people "know" me, some dont, but I can always say what is on my mind. But comfort and happiness seem at odds with one another. I have reinforced a lot of negative mental traps through here, because what I found at first to be acceptance of my true self has now become reassurance and comfort in my negative self. I also use it to channel those negatives like a heatsink: I can channel and dump my problems here and walk around like a relatively normal person. And I often find myself now choosing comfort over happiness.
I must bring myself all together and become one. I must cull those negative aspects of my mind. I must find a way to be haply, and I think this place, as much as it has helped me, is becoming a mental prison that I hold the keys to, but I'm not leaving. Well I am now. And meatspace takes precedence because thats the guy I walk around as when I'm not jacked into the matrix.
I see the same problems in many of you but I am not going to call you out. I just want you to know that it isnt pointless to try to change, comfort isnt happiness, and life is out there. If you are using the internet as a crutch, let go and fall on your face, crawl along the ground like a snail and try to replenish your atrophied muscles. I think you will be happier for it.
I dont know, most of this doesnt make sense but yeah. I hope you all do well and find happiness, whatever that means to you.
Later.
Love, CapThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-08-03 at 12:26 PM UTCtl;drThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-08-03 at 1:02 PM UTCEnjoy open registration
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2018-08-03 at 1:03 PM UTCGood luck.📖
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2018-08-03 at 1:18 PM UTCBye bitch.
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2018-08-03 at 1:19 PM UTCSee ya rat bastard👋
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2018-08-03 at 1:36 PM UTCDoncha just hate when you’re exposed 🗣🗣😡
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2018-08-03 at 2:51 PM UTCWelcome to the Suburbs. There is no escape.
Welcome to the Hotel California
Such a lovely place
Such a lovely face
They livin' it up at the Hotel California
What a nice surprise
Bring your alibis
Mirrors on the ceiling
The pink champagne on ice
And she said, "we are all just prisoners here, of our own device"
And in the master's chambers
They gathered for the feast
They stab it with their steely knives, but they just can't kill the beast
Last thing I remember, I was running for the door
I had to find the passage back to the place I was before
"Relax", said the night man, "we are programmed to receive"
"You can check out any time you like, but you can never leave" -
2018-08-03 at 3:02 PM UTCGood Luck Captain!!
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2018-08-03 at 3:14 PM UTC
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2018-08-03 at 3:29 PM UTCI've got 3 weeks
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2018-08-03 at 3:30 PM UTC
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2018-08-03 at 3:31 PM UTC
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2018-08-03 at 3:32 PM UTCYa he kind of fuked up
But he does deserve happiness
U guys be soul lessman
No soul -
2018-08-03 at 3:34 PM UTC&Totse doesn't have any soul. That's what makes us special.
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2018-08-03 at 3:37 PM UTCThat's a false comment
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2018-08-03 at 3:39 PM UTC
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2018-08-03 at 4:03 PM UTCYes, captain, but it has always been that way. Well maybe not always, but for a very long time now. The content of posts has generally been mostly stupid shit/degeneracy/attention seeking, with like 10% actual interesting content. If it's information you're looking for, there have been better sources for a long time. You probably have a nostalgic memory of the old days where everything was much better, but maybe it was just much better because you were younger and this place had a lot of things you'd never seen before. But then they get old and tired.
Anyone here who is worth a shit knows they use this website as a crutch (there are a couple who don't probably, but the vast majority). The ones who don't realize it are the retards posting absolutely meaningless shit constantly (mostly DH), but those people will never have the capacity for reflection anyways. They'll never consider it or think about it, they're just internet junkies living from one comment dopamine hit to the next.
Anyways, my thoughts are kind of scattered, but I guess what I'm trying to say is yea, we know. But I think you already knew as well. You don't need to call anyone out because we already know. I agree with you and hope you can move on to greener pastures. But just as a comment, I think you are inherently altruistic, good natured and intelligent, and you see some of these qualities in users here, so you assume that we would behave in a certain way, like to think logically and maximize our ability (financially, emotionally, whatever...) in life. Then when you see us not doing that, you think we must lack self awareness or self control. I don't think either don't realize or don't understand that not everyone is motivated by the same things as you are. A lot of us are "fucked up" permanently because we were raised by fucked up people, or for whatever reason learned destructive coping mechanisms from birth and then bounced from unhealthy habit to unhealthy habit for too long before we finally gained enough awareness to realize that we were already too far behind the curve and have been effectively kicked out of normal society.
I started this out meaning to type generally but it's obviously getting pretty personal, so I'll just say that, we know. But good luck man and I hope this turns out to be a positive change for you. Keep in touch from time to time if you want.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2018-08-03 at 6:01 PM UTCThe following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
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2018-08-03 at 6:10 PM UTCSo long faggot
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