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I will no longer be posting on this website.
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2016-02-03 at 7:34 AM UTC.
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2016-02-03 at 7:55 AM UTCGood luck with achieving your goals in life. Don't hurt yourself.
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2016-02-06 at 3:03 AM UTCIts my fault. Sorry. Ive decided after thinking for a while (I still intend to leave this world) but Ive heard enough about what Ive done to my 'flesh and blood', youre just going to have to deal with the concequenses of that night because I wont be here to deal with them anymore and Id rather not a pedophile have Ex. He wont let me put him up for adoption so we are going through 'Petition to Examine Paternity' and yes, you will be brought up to do a paternity test for the courts. Ive said before I dont want child support, this isnt what its about. Youve threatened me so much over childsupport and thats not ever what I wanted from you. If you take custody of him when Im gone, you can place him for adoption if you wish. I wish I could go live the life youve left me for. We couldhave lived that aweaome life together, but you destroyed me and you know what you did when I attempted to contact your parents. Sorry about that but he deserves better, YOUR RIGHT ABOUT THAT. Im trying to give him better but I cant do it myself alone anymore. I told you it would come to this if I was alone. You destroyed my life, you destroyed any hopes of happiness Id had. Good luck, I have no malice toward you, but be expecting those court orders in the mail, along with a money order I am sending to repay you. Once hes yours, you can do withbhim as you like, I was just trying to make this easier on everyone because Im dead for all intents and purposes. Im going on just trying to secure his safety away from that evil pedophile. Dont worry, I dont want child support. you can either raise him yourself or put him for adoption I dont care nor will I be around to care.
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2016-02-06 at 3:44 AM UTC*cringe*
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2016-02-06 at 3:49 AM UTC
Its my fault. Sorry. Ive decided after thinking for a while (I still intend to leave this world) but Ive heard enough about what Ive done to my 'flesh and blood', youre just going to have to deal with the concequenses of that night because I wont be here to deal with them anymore and Id rather not a pedophile have Ex. He wont let me put him up for adoption so we are going through 'Petition to Examine Paternity' and yes, you will be brought up to do a paternity test for the courts. Ive said before I dont want child support, this isnt what its about. Youve threatened me so much over childsupport and thats not ever what I wanted from you. If you take custody of him when Im gone, you can place him for adoption if you wish. I wish I could go live the life youve left me for. We couldhave lived that aweaome life together, but you destroyed me and you know what you did when I attempted to contact your parents. Sorry about that but he deserves better, YOUR RIGHT ABOUT THAT. Im trying to give him better but I cant do it myself alone anymore. I told you it would come to this if I was alone. You destroyed my life, you destroyed any hopes of happiness Id had. Good luck, I have no malice toward you, but be expecting those court orders in the mail, along with a money order I am sending to repay you. Once hes yours, you can do withbhim as you like, I was just trying to make this easier on everyone because Im dead for all intents and purposes. Im going on just trying to secure his safety away from that evil pedophile. Dont worry, I dont want child support. you can either raise him yourself or put him for adoption I dont care nor will I be around to care.
Your ex into shota? What he do? If you're going to kill yourself anyway might as well spill the beans. -
2016-02-06 at 3:50 AM UTCAlso bye §m£ÂgØL, what a long strange journey it's been eh?
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2016-02-06 at 4:42 AM UTCMy ex husband violently raped a 6 year old girl. Lied about it, down played it and basically told a tale much different than the court documents which he signed. He was a lying, manipulative piece of shit. You wouldnt have even have defended his actions of what he did. I wasnt aware it was so fucked as that. There is a difference of a 13 yo having a 6yo girl touch your penis than having violently raping a 6 yo when youre 15. He couldnt even keep his fucjing lies somewhat straight. I was raped repeatedly in our fucked relationship but too stupid to realize it. I have a sleep disorder.. he kept saying I was coming on to him and provking shit while I was asleep. I told him to just leave if I did that, but rather he just would give me bullshit about how I got mad at him if he did that. I woke up a majority of days feeling violated and like scum not even able to remember what happened, just cum in my cunt. Thats why I believe the court documents versus his play on things so much. He was an abuser and was good at making people feel sympathy for him, until you see what the court papers say that is... I was stupid. Im just continuing this fucked existence until Ican get my exhusband off the BC and §m£ÂgØL on it andnthen the ball is in his court- he can raise his son or place him with adoption. this isnt about child support- this is aaout a broken person unable to keep going raising a child completely alone with nobody, nothing in their life for support emotionally. It takes everything in me to not just clock out prematurely. Ive got the means, Ive got the desire. I just love my son so much, the least I can do is spare my child being raised by that fucked up piece of shit.
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2016-02-06 at 4:57 AM UTC
My ex husband violently raped a 6 year old girl. Lied about it, down played it and basically told a tale much different than the court documents which he signed. He was a lying, manipulative piece of shit. You wouldnt have even have defended his actions of what he did. I wasnt aware it was so fucked as that. There is a difference of a 13 yo having a 6yo girl touch your penis than having violently raping a 6 yo when youre 15. He couldnt even keep his fucjing lies somewhat straight. I was raped repeatedly in our fucked relationship but too stupid to realize it. I have a sleep disorder.. he kept saying I was coming on to him and provking shit while I was asleep. I told him to just leave if I did that, but rather he just would give me bullshit about how I got mad at him if he did that. I woke up a majority of days feeling violated and like scum not even able to remember what happened, just cum in my cunt. Thats why I believe the court documents versus his play on things so much. He was an abuser and was good at making people feel sympathy for him, until you see what the court papers say that is… I was stupid. Im just continuing this fucked existence until Ican get my exhusband off the BC and §m£ÂgØL on it andnthen the ball is in his court- he can raise his son or place him with adoption. this isnt about child support- this is aaout a broken person unable to keep going raising a child completely alone with nobody, nothing in their life for support emotionally. It takes everything in me to not just clock out prematurely. Ive got the means, Ive got the desire. I just love my son so much, the least I can do is spare my child being raised by that fucked up piece of shit.
What is going on in this thread?
From what I'm reading, Hydromorphone had a kid with §m£ÂgØL, has custody of the kid, her ex-husband is a child rapist, she wants to kill herself, but wants to give the kid to §m£ÂgØL first?
You guys really need to get your shit together.
Also it sucks that §m£ÂgØL is leaving because he was cool dude, but I guess it is what it is. I'll always remember Bradley B berating you for being attacked by a bird, and you defending your position by explaining that the bird was very aggressive.
Peace out.
Also, your dick is really small (no offense).
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2016-02-06 at 5:41 AM UTC§m£ÂgØL, you always were an ugly piece of shit.
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2016-02-06 at 9:32 AM UTCWho would've thought that having a child by a hitchhiking schizophrenic in a garage full of animals was a bad idea?
You should've listened to the normal people who don't come up with shit ideas like that. If you want §m£ÂgØL to raise the kid you're too fucking stupid to raise a kid yourself anyway so bring it to a church or whatever.
Fuck you. -
2016-02-06 at 9:34 AM UTCWell, at least you know whats going to be happening this week. I hope you dont call dcf so stoney isnt drug back into Exs life, but if you do it still wont stop the petition to examine paternity. Good luck. Have a great life- mine is over.
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2016-02-06 at 9:59 AM UTCShut the fuck up.
I'm sorry for your current state but you were able to plan this shit beforehand and the outcome was clear from the beginning. You made that hobo take a trip through the US and let him put a baby inside you. Forget about your life, think about your fucking child.
I'm not here to give you a hug. You've messed up. Use the time and effort you put into planning your suicide and threatening with it here to plan a future for your child.
I have zero symphathy for you at this point because you are not the victim here.
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2016-02-06 at 10:09 AM UTCI dont want sympathy. I am doing exactly what youre suggesting. I know I fucked up, I accept I am stupid. Be happy this child doesnt have to be raised by an idiot like me. My exhusband is on the birth certificate, I am filing a petition to examine paternity and then bring §m£ÂgØL into the court system. Hes threatened enough that if I were to do this, he and his family will take custody. Thats exactly what I want. Im just not going to be around after that- follow me yet? If I didnt give a fuck about my child, Id just check out now, Ive got the means and desire. Before this Ive been working my ass off. Ive been struggling to care for this baby with next to no sleep with my work schedule. Ive been hanging by a thread before all this. Ive just broken completely. I only care that my exhusband doesnt get custody of my child else I would have called dcf myself to come get him by now. Im doing this one last thing to protect my son, then its over.
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2016-02-06 at 10:33 AM UTCI'm following you and it's sad as fuck. Don't kill yourself. I'm not suggesting that. I'm suggesting the opposite.
I was raised with nothing. 5 people in one room in a renovated haybarn. My dad wasn't around and both my grandparents were insane with severe Schizophrenia at that point. I had nothing but the love of my mother. It was hard as fuck and now that I'm grown up I have to deal with that shit on my own but when I was a child I needed my mom. I blamed her a couple of times but I love her more than anything. Don't give up. Don't give up on yourself and don't give up on your child.
You're in a fucked up situation where it's normal to feel like you do but you can make it out of that situation. Don't give up. Get someone to take care of the child and take some time off. I'm sure that's possible. Don't kill yourself. -
2016-02-06 at 11:18 AM UTCIf it was possible for someone to 'give me a break' Id have already have jumped on that already. The most of a break Ive had since my exhusband left was when my babysitter did me a solid when I got off work at 7am and had to be back to work at 2pm. I had already worked a 10 hour shift and hadnt slept the day before because I was up caring for my son. i was even late to work I was so tired. I have ZERO family and Im not exaggerating one bit. I have no real friends. Ive begged this girl I thought I was somewhat good friends with to take my son for a day, a few hours, or even just come over and help me clean while we took turns watching him.. she said ahe would, but this has been fucking months and always has an excuse for why she cant. Ive thought about calling dcf just ao I could have a fucking break. My son shouldnt see me frustrated, dog ass tired and just wanting to put him in a playpen or for him to take a nap. I dont enjoy my child for all the shit Im having to do to support him. I wish I fucking could- this is why kids do better in two parent homes, because you start hating your kids when youre so tired you cant see straight, cant get any rest for having to care for him before work and then back to another 10 hour grind just to do it all over again. On your day off, you just want to fucking sleep... Im not physically well off either. Ive got a herniated disc, two torn miniscus in my knees, nerve damage, and a rapid heart rate and nearly sure Ive got an thorasic aortic anyerism thats going to kill me one day in a very painful way (though thankfully it should be a fairly quick death). this isnt the sole reason I want to die, its coupled with my physical problems to, the fact Im never going to get out of this shit hole situation. §m£ÂgØL has a large family that is supportive. His family doesnt really want for money either. That would be a much better situation for my son. Even if he is put up for adoption, they will screen for people that can dedicate the time and love to my little boy. Fuck, even §m£ÂgØL agrees I should give him up for adoption, but whats stopping me is that my exhusband wants to take custody and REFUSES to sign paperwork so he can be adopted out. If hes removed and Golum is then placed on as his father, then he can make that choice. He can either raise him with the support and help from his family or he can put him for adoption. Hea told me he cannot be in my sons life despite wishing he could be because of me being in his life- this way, I wont be in my sons life anylonger ans hopefully he does choose to raise him. My son deserves better than I can give him. Im not a good mother, despite my best efforts to be. I was left in a shit situation that I partially created with a house that is filthy, falling appart and just not good for a baby to be in and a nother who is at her last nerve everyday of her life. I love this child more than anything andbnothing pains me more than to say Ive failed my child and cant give him a great life, but thats the hard cold truth of it. Im just trying to do the one little thing that is in my power to protect him from a person that abused me for a decade and has abused others, even to the point of being convicted for it. Ita the least I can do for my child that I love dearly and while §m£ÂgØL acta like a fucked up little shit most the time, he really is a good guy irl. I trust he would raise my son properly, as best as he can and would do better than I can and if he chooses not to and place him for adoption, he will be doing what I cant since my exhusband, the father currently on the BC, has stopped me from doing. Im not strong like your mom, sorry I cant do it. I hurt way too much. all there is is failure in my future and like §m£ÂgØL said to me over the phone, last we spoke, Im toxic. he doesnt need that in his life. He also told me he hopes I do right by my son. Thats exacrly what I am trying to do. Its the whole reason I tried to contact his parents. Its why I am going through with the court shit. I havent been threatening, Ive only posted this shit ao he knows Im not trying to get child support that he is so fucking paranoid of. Hes paranoid as fuck that he might be court ordered to pay money for his biological child. Ive never wanted that mans money, nor anyones money, if I did Id already have gotten it from one fathwr or the other by now but I dont even get welfare for my child. Nobody has paid me one single cent of child support nor do I expect it now. This wasnt a threat, rather to reassure since hes threatened to commit suicide if he were ever forced to pay child support a dozen times before when he was fucking paranoid as fuck. you understand a bit better now?
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2016-02-06 at 11:28 AM UTCWhat's DCF?
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2016-02-06 at 11:45 AM UTCDepartment of Children and Families. Social workers, people who remove children from their homes when they have unfit parents/living conditions. Some people in other states have CPS, Childrens Protective Services. Same thing.
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2016-02-06 at 12:04 PM UTCReally this isn't an argument you should be having on an open forum. You do make me feel better about my shitty life choices tho, so as you were.
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2016-02-06 at 12:05 PM UTCI'm from Germany so I'm not familiar with your social services but Malice said in TRT that you are in contact. He knows this stuff. You seem really hopeless and helpless but you are aware of your situation and that already gives you an advantage. Don't give up. The USA can't be a place where people in your situation don't get help. There must be a solution that doesn't include your suicide. Trust me.
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2016-02-06 at 12:06 PM UTCWho here has children and knows something about this shit?
