Currently having a panic attack. Please help.

1. 2018-08-02 at 9:56 AM UTC

   #1
   Enterita African Astronaut
   Been arguing with this girl for the past 2 days that she isn't pregnant because it hasn't been 4 weeks. She insists that she thinks she is because she's been peeing more, feeling slightly sick, and has sensitive tits. Just googled it and apparently these are things that can happen at the 3 weeks mark, especially since it's closer to 4 weeks for me.
   
   What the fuck no, we were so sure she was fucking with me for attention. I'm actually going out of my body right now. This can't be happening. This can't be fucking happening no, she was supposed to be some fucking tinder slut.
   
   This can't happen to me, I never have sex. Is she still lying? Can you actually get symptoms at 3 weeks? This is not a joke or troll I'm actually having a panic attack and need to talk to anyone.
2. 2018-08-02 at 9:57 AM UTC

   #2
   Enterita African Astronaut
   I don't have the means or money to have a kid, I'm a fucking kid myself! This CAN'T be fucking happening
3. 2018-08-02 at 9:58 AM UTC

   #3
   

   Cootehill African Astronaut [my unsymmetrically blurry oregano]
   Daddy Enter has a nice ring to it.
4. 2018-08-02 at 9:58 AM UTC

   #4
   Enterita African Astronaut
   My life is actually fucking over, this is my biggest nightmare come true.
   
   SHE BETTER BE FUCKING LYING. THE CUNT. IT'S ONLY BEEN THREE FUCKING WEEKS.
5. 2018-08-02 at 9:58 AM UTC

   #5
   

   mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
   three minutes...THREE MINUTES.
6. 2018-08-02 at 10 AM UTC

   #6
   

   Cootehill African Astronaut [my unsymmetrically blurry oregano]

   Originally posted by Enterita My life is actually fucking over, this is my biggest nightmare come true.

   
   Having kids is your biggest nightmare now?
   
   I thought it was being alone?
7. 2018-08-02 at 10:02 AM UTC

   #7
   

   mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
   Why Can't Re-Be Friends
   
   Why Can't Re-Be Friends
   
   Why Can't Re-Be Friends
   
   Why Can't Re-Be Friends
   
   Because you're an object to your friends? Enter...
   
   She would never break the mirror with her nose, either.
8. 2018-08-02 at 10:02 AM UTC

   #8
   Enterita African Astronaut

   Originally posted by Cootehill Having kids is your biggest nightmare now?
   
   I thought it was being alone?

   
   It's always been to have kids. I have nightmares I have a baby.
   
   I was actually finally content with being alone, as well.
   
   This is a sick joke by the universe.
   
   I refuse to believe she's actually pregnant, she is a crazy cunt who's imagining symptoms.
9. 2018-08-02 at 10:03 AM UTC

   #9
   

   mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
   Corn Dogs and Classical Fairs.
10. 2018-08-02 at 10:04 AM UTC

    #10
    Enterita African Astronaut
    Breathe... just breathe...
    
    she's just lying for attention. There is no baby. You did not impregnate her. Everything's fine. She's lying for attention.
11. 2018-08-02 at 10:06 AM UTC

    #11
    

    mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
    pig
12. 2018-08-02 at 10:06 AM UTC

    #12
    Enterita African Astronaut

    Originally posted by mashlehash pig

    
    Mashlehash, I'm worried about you. Are you okay?
    
    Can you comprehend this post? Type "yes" if you understand.
13. 2018-08-02 at 10:07 AM UTC

    #13
    

    mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
    Ping Master: Full Finger Flex
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • RisiR †
14. 2018-08-02 at 10:08 AM UTC

    #14
    Enterita African Astronaut

    Originally posted by mashlehash Ping Master: Full Finger Flex

    
    .........
15. 2018-08-02 at 10:08 AM UTC

    #15
    

    Cootehill African Astronaut [my unsymmetrically blurry oregano]
    
16. 2018-08-02 at 10:09 AM UTC

    #16
    Enterita African Astronaut

    Originally posted by Cootehill

    
    lmao she looks like that, too.
    
    but seriously, I'm calming down now. She's lying.
17. 2018-08-02 at 10:10 AM UTC

    #17
    

    RisiR † 29 Autism
    You gotta stay strong for your kid, dude. Man up.
    
    Haha.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • Cootehill
18. 2018-08-02 at 10:12 AM UTC

    #18
    Enterita African Astronaut

    Originally posted by RisiR † You gotta stay strong for your kid, dude. Man up.
    
    Haha.

    
    She's too confident that she's pregnant, it sounds like fucking bullshit. That combined with the fact that I know her personality, she's definitely lying.
19. 2018-08-02 at 10:16 AM UTC

    #19
    

    mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
    I herb u'urined in the river.
20. 2018-08-02 at 10:23 AM UTC

    #20
    

    HTS highlight reel
    If she's pregnant, just kill her and the baby. Problem solved. Bury her in the outback. Nobody will find her.