how I showed up an hour late for work on my first day and nobody noticed.

1. 2016-10-03 at 11:12 PM UTC

   #1
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   I also got paid all my hours. I stayed up all night smoking weed and watching cute girls on youtube, didn't really sleep much. Passed out around 4am, woke up at 7am. I had 2 coffees but I was still tired, my ride shows up and we go. I show up to work and punch in but security stops me because I don't have steel toes (OH FUCK I FORGOT MY BOOTS)
   
   thats right, scronald forgot his boots on a monday. My ride is already long gone, security gave me a broken phone to call him so every minute it doesn't work my ride is further away making it less likely im gonna be at work on time. Finally I snag a phone from HR and tell my friend I forgot my boots, he rushes over. I'm supposed to start at 8:30 and its like 8:25 so we rush back to my house (about 30km away)
   
   I saw my co worker Shabu running from the bus towards work because HE was late and he looks at me puzzled and says "you no work today?" I'm like "I FORGOT MY BOOTS NIGGA!!!"
   
   It ends up taking almost an hour there and back, I show up at like 9:11 (takes 10mins to get through security/get to my area), but I realize I'm already punched in, security thought I left them "in my car" and thought I was already in the building so they didn't tell anyone I was "late"
   
   And it turns out the boss is sick, so nobody even noticed I wasn't there.
   
   I just pretended I was filling out forms for HR. Good thing Shabu doesn't speak very good english or he might blow my cover.
   
   If anyone checks the records it shows I signed in on time and left on time.
   
   I might have bad luck but I have FUCKING AMAZING karma.
2. 2016-10-04 at 3:22 AM UTC

   #2
   

   Sophie Pedophile Tech Support
   Lucky.
3. 2016-10-04 at 4:31 AM UTC

   #3
   Malice Naturally Camouflaged
   You sound like a lousy worker, tbh.
4. 2016-10-04 at 5:38 AM UTC

   #4
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   You sound like a lousy worker, tbh.

   
   Eh, he showed up on time, just made an honest mistake.
   
   What makes him a lousy employee though, is the lying. You know, nobody is going to fire you on the first day for forgetting to wear steel toe boots. They've gone through the process of hiring you, you've probably gone through orientation already, they'll give you a chance. But if you get caught in a lie? Nope. Your ass is out. You're lucky Mr. Shabu has poor english skills and probably doesn't gossip because of it, nor would I imagine he has a reason to talk about it. I mean, I don't know Mr. Shabu, but that's my guess. Try not to lie and make excuses for yourself, it makes you look horribly untrustworthy instead of just a person who makes mistakes. Especially when you lie about such a petty thing.
5. 2016-10-04 at 11:28 PM UTC

   #5
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   It wasn't really a lie, I just made it seem like I was there when I wasn't.
   
   It's all about appearences.
   
6. 2016-10-05 at 3:50 AM UTC

   #6
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle
   You promised to send methylenedioxymethamphetamine when you got a job. I'm counting on you. :D
7. 2016-10-05 at 4:27 AM UTC

   #7
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   wont even make a dent in my first paycheck. I gotta get crankamphetaminezulphate before halloween first.