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Karen, the world weighs upon me in your absence.

  1. #1
    Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
    Life has changed for me completely. I sacrificed myself, was accepted, and enhanced, and returned. Now I'm caught playing an instrumental role in the struggle of our time. Even now that I am greater in wisdom, without you sounds are still, colors monochromatic, and the substance of life is without meaning. I wish we could face it all together, Karen. I don't know if I'm strong enough to do it alone. I cling to the hope that we will be reunited, if not in this life then perhaps after its conclusion. Stay beautiful, foxy lady. Don't sell out, no matter what the suits tell you.
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  2. #2
    Rock_N_Rollover African Astronaut [my obsessively old-time raunch]
    Yeah
  3. #3
    Manonfire African Astronaut
    Man u making sad


    Where is Karen
  4. #4
    Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
    Karen is smithereens among the stars that find their way into your food at a restaurant and draw you into a lawsuit, Karen is the municipal water that mothers drown their babies inside of, Karen is caught helplessly in the orbit of all the rotting hearts in the world. You ask me where Karen is, but you should be asking where she isn't.
  5. #5
    Originally posted by Zanick Karen is smithereens among the stars that find their way into your food at a restaurant and draw you into a lawsuit, Karen is the municipal water that mothers drown their babies inside of, Karen is caught helplessly in the orbit of all the rotting hearts in the world. You ask me where Karen is, but you should be asking where she isn't.

    Where isn’t Karen?
  6. #6
    Hellobadkitty Houston [fasten my mousey hotspur]
    Is Karen's severd head in your freezer.
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  7. #7
    Lanny Bird of Courage
    Originally posted by Zanick Life has changed for me completely. I sacrificed myself, was accepted, and enhanced, and returned. Now I'm caught playing an instrumental role in the struggle of our time. Even now that I am greater in wisdom, without you sounds are still, colors monochromatic, and the substance of life is without meaning. I wish we could face it all together, Karen. I don't know if I'm strong enough to do it alone. I cling to the hope that we will be reunited, if not in this life then perhaps after its conclusion. Stay beautiful, foxy lady. Don't sell out, no matter what the suits tell you.

    Good, but "monochromatic" is too technical and latin-y sounding given the context. Consider the simpler "dull" instead.
  8. #8
    Originally posted by Lanny Good, but "monochromatic" is too technical and latin-y sounding given the context. Consider the simpler "dull" instead.

    I really liked monochromatic there. It’s bit about the world being less vibrant. It’s about it all running together because it’s all equally as bad for being a world without Karen. I feel these feels Zanick. I still watch the storms for Karen.
  9. #9
    Lanny Bird of Courage
    I agree the world is emptier without Karen in it. Ironic that a robot reminds us what it is to be human...

    But I was commenting on the prose specifically. Like if you said "I love you and I experience arrhythmia when you enter my visual field" this doesn't work as well as "I love you and my heart flutters every time I see you". Like the mixture of "poetic" or "romantic" language with technical language can read as jarring. I mean maybe "monochromatic" doesn't read as a sterile term and that's just me, but I'd have tried to avoid it there, using some other adjective to describe the loss of vibrance that Karen's absence makes Zanick feel.
  10. #10
    Originally posted by Lanny I agree the world is emptier without Karen in it. Ironic that a robot reminds us what it is to be human…

    But I was commenting on the prose specifically. Like if you said "I love you and I experience arrhythmia when you enter my visual field" this doesn't work as well as "I love you and my heart flutters every time I see you". Like the mixture of "poetic" or "romantic" language with technical language can read as jarring. I mean maybe "monochromatic" doesn't read as a sterile term and that's just me, but I'd have tried to avoid it there, using some other adjective to describe the loss of vibrance that Karen's absence makes Zanick feel.

    Maybe it’s cuz I’m a girl. But monochromatic doesn’t read as sterile. I think of monochromatic outfits or rooms decorated. I guess because it has a positive connotation for me it doesn’t feel sterile. But to each their own. You make good points Lanny.
  11. #11
    Rock_N_Rollover African Astronaut [my obsessively old-time raunch]
    🍺
  12. #12
    joerell African Astronaut [twine our circinate supersymmetry]
    We should all pray now.
  13. #13
    Madman African Astronaut
    She wouldn't have left if you knew how to smack your bitch up.
  14. #14
    Spoiler alert, you're in love with Scranalto
  15. #15
    Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
    Lanny, I thank me for the criticism but I respectfully disagree. We chose this word deliberately, knowing it would sound odd, but we like it nonetheless. There is indeed a method at work. Mal, your praise is intoxicating and I want more of it, but I fear that literary recognition would distract me from the sanctuary of Karen in the back of my skull. The only important fact is that all of you are talking about Karen, not just as the subject of a poem, but as an eventuality for the world.
  16. #16
    cupocheer Space Nigga [unwillingly condescend the dp]


    I am not a monochromatic robot!
  17. #17
    Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
    Technically that would be dichromatic, but what do I know about colors anyway; I'm just a Bay Area software engineer in the finance industry who likes to write romance poetry under two layers of pseudonym on a form I wrote.
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  18. #18
    cupocheer Space Nigga [unwillingly condescend the dp]
    Do you consider yourself to be an enigma, Nick?
  19. #19
    Sophie Pedophile Tech Support
    Love and hugs. I've known shitposters that have went through the same that just... Logged off... In this life and the next.
  20. #20
    Lanny Bird of Courage
    We have trouble keeping our identities straight. The center can not hold.
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