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Have aliens visited Earth?
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2018-07-12 at 3 PM UTCThink of your name right now. Spell it correctly for us. Thank you. The time spent reading this allows our sensors to lock on to your brain.
Please Answer the following questions:
1. Do aliens exist?
1b. If you answered "No" to the above question, congratulations! You're free to go. Don't forget to pick up your pills on the way out.
If you answered "Yes" or "Maybe" to the above question, then congratulations! You will be here with us for a while! -
2018-07-12 at 3:05 PM UTC2. Have aliens visited Earth? Please answer honestly and truthfully, as our sensors can detect lies.
2b. If you have answered "No", "Yes", or "Maybe" to the above question, then congratulations! You'll be stuck here forever. -
2018-07-12 at 3:08 PM UTC3. Have you ever seen an alien? Do you remember what he looked like? His face, his stench? Any probes that might have been in your body?
3b. Never attempt to deceive the machines. -
2018-07-12 at 3:10 PM UTC4. Have you ever woken up to random pains in your orifices, limbs, or other body parts?
4b. Remember that your memory is only partial. -
2018-07-12 at 3:13 PM UTCThat will conclude PART ONE of the test. Please answer all questions accordingly and remain seated for PART TWO. This period is necessary to avoid necrosis, and loss of brain function.
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2018-07-12 at 4:33 PM UTC
Originally posted by Ensign §m£ÂgØL Think of your name right now. Spell it correctly for us. Thank you. The time spent reading this allows our sensors to lock on to your brain.
Please Answer the following questions:
1. Do aliens exist?
Z-A-N-I-C-K.
1) Yes
Originally posted by Ensign §m£ÂgØL 2. Have aliens visited Earth? Please answer honestly and truthfully, as our sensors can detect lies.
2) Yeah, they left us proprietary values and soon they'll be back to claim royalties using our own lawyers to extract them.
Originally posted by Ensign §m£ÂgØL 3. Have you ever seen an alien? Do you remember what he looked like? His face, his stench? Any probes that might have been in your body?
3) I only recall a bright white light and a being in white asking forcefully, "Are you on drugs?" Then there was a severe pain in my penis, followed by the relief of my bladder.
Originally posted by Ensign §m£ÂgØL 4. Have you ever woken up to random pains in your orifices, limbs, or other body parts?
4) Yes! This morning I woke up nauseous with sore lips. -
2018-07-12 at 4:35 PM UTCSee avatar for answers
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2018-07-12 at 4:42 PM UTCAliens exist but have never visited Earth. Unless you believe in panspermia, wherein you fry your cum like an egg.
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2018-07-12 at 5:51 PM UTC
Originally posted by Zanick Z-A-N-I-C-K.
1) Yes
2) Yeah, they left us proprietary values and soon they'll be back to claim royalties using our own lawyers to extract them.
3) I only recall a bright white light and a being in white asking forcefully, "Are you on drugs?" Then there was a severe pain in my penis, followed by the relief of my bladder.
4) Yes! This morning I woke up nauseous with sore lips.
Hello Z-A-N-I-C-K, and thank you for your participation in our survey. You are now ready to move on to PART TWO. -
2018-07-12 at 5:53 PM UTCPART TWO
Please answer the following questions.
5. Is the government hiding alien activity?
5b. If you answered "Yes" to the above question, please move on to part 5c. If you answered "No" or "Maybe", you may continue on to question 6.
5c. Where is the facility? -
2018-07-12 at 5:54 PM UTC6. Think about the aliens you witnessed. How big were they? What did they look like? Were they wearing anything? What sort of technology did they have?
6b. Please think about the aliens in great detail. -
2018-07-12 at 5:55 PM UTCThis will conclude PART TWO.
Do not disconnect from the device.
Thank you. -
2018-07-12 at 6:34 PM UTCNo, i don't think aliens haven't visited earth, its simply to impractical. We have visited aliens though, it happens all the time.
Eat some shrooms, smoke sum dmt, whatever rocks your boat. -
2018-07-12 at 6:41 PM UTC1. Yes
2. No
3. No.
4. Basically Sunday morning as usual. -
2018-07-12 at 6:42 PM UTC5. No
6. Nonexistent -
2018-07-12 at 6:49 PM UTC
Originally posted by Ensign §m£ÂgØL PART TWO
Please answer the following questions.
5. Is the government hiding alien activity?
5b. If you answered "Yes" to the above question, please move on to part 5c. If you answered "No" or "Maybe", you may continue on to question 6.
5c. Where is the facility?
5a) Yes, or at the very least, indications of past activity.
5c) Somewhere remote within the continental United States, probably also dry with consistent weather. Arizona or New Mexico, maybe. Or my backyard, because I wouldn't charge them. Of course, I wouldn't tell you even if I did have a federal contract, or that I make coffee for CIA agents and nuclear scientists every morning with my pour over - perfect cup, every time. That'd just be a matter of national security.
Originally posted by Ensign §m£ÂgØL 6. Think about the aliens you witnessed. How big were they? What did they look like? Were they wearing anything? What sort of technology did they have?
6b. Please think about the aliens in great detail.
6a) They installed a memory wipe on my computer that makes me forget any time I open it to tell people. It was throwing resource usage on my Macbook way out of whack and I discovered the secret program when I tried to diagnose RAM issues.
6) Oh, now I remember! They were tall and strong, with golden hair and fair skin. They said they were recolonizing but that I don't need to worry, just my kids and their kids and the rest of my descendants, who will be milked for eternity. I accepted that promise at the time, and I still do. I don't care what happens after I'm dead, and I won't be morally blackmailed by leftists who think that I should. They were all really hot, if that helps. -
2018-07-12 at 7:04 PM UTCAliens are real, or they were a few billion years ago. All life on Earth is the panspermic result of aliens flushing their bacteria laden poop nuggets onto a young earth.
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2018-07-13 at 8:22 PM UTC
