2018-06-04 at 4:07 PM UTC
SMART ASS ANSWER #6
It was mealtime during an airline flight.
'Would you like dinner?' the flight attendant asked John, seated in front.
'What are my choices?' John asked.
'Yes or no.' she replied.
SMART ASS ANSWER #5
A flight attendant was stationed at the departure gate to check tickets. As a man approached, she extended her hand for the ticket and he opened his trench coat and flashed her.
Without missing a beat, she said 'Sir, I need to see your ticket, not your stub.'
SMART ASS ANSWER #4
A lady was picking through the frozen turkeys at the grocery store but she couldn't find one big enough for her family. She asked a stock boy 'Do these turkeys get any bigger?'
The stock boy replied, 'No ma'am, they're dead...'
SMART ASS ANSWER #3
The police officer got out of his car as the kid who was stopped for speeding rolled down his window. 'I've been waiting for you all day.' the officer said.
The kid replied 'Yeah, well I got here as fast as I could.'
When the cop finally stopped laughing, he sent the kid on his way without a ticket.
SMART ASS ANSWER #2
A truck driver was driving along on the freeway and noticed a sign that read: Low Bridge Ahead. Before he knows it, the bridge is right in front of him and his truck gets wedged under it. Cars are backed up for miles.
Finally a police car comes up. The cop gets out of his car and walks to the truck driver, puts his hands on his hips and says 'Got stuck, huh?'
The truck driver says 'No, I was delivering this bridge and I ran out of gas.'
#1 SMART ASS ANSWER OF THE YEAR
A college teacher reminds her class of tomorrow's final exam. 'Now class, I won't tolerate any excuses for you not being here tomorrow. I might consider a nuclear attack or a serious personal injury, illness, or a death in your immediate family, but that's it, no other excuses whatsoever!'
A smart-ass student in the back of the room raised his hand and asked 'What would you say if tomorrow I said I was suffering from complete and utter sexual exhaustion?'
The entire class is reduced to laughter and snickering. When silence was restored, the teacher smiled knowingly at the student, shook her head and sweetly said 'Well, I guess you'd have to write the exam with your other hand.'
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
2018-06-04 at 5:52 PM UTC
It is painfully clear that not one person on this site has a sense of humor!
2018-06-04 at 5:54 PM UTC
Originally posted by stl1
It is painfully clear that not one person on this site has a sense of humor!
Self realization is a good thing!
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
2018-06-04 at 6:27 PM UTC
Iβm waiting to read the op for when Iβm on the shitter...
2018-06-04 at 7:08 PM UTC
Dfg
Tuskegee Airman
[compulsively riposte the emigrant]
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
2018-06-05 at 2:54 PM UTC
What are you, some kind of smart-ass?
She would definitely fail the "pencil test".
2018-06-05 at 2:58 PM UTC
Your grandchildren would be ashamed of you filthy old man
2018-06-05 at 3:04 PM UTC
Impossible.
I've only got the one.
At least for another couple of months.
How proud are your grandchildren of you?
2018-06-05 at 3:14 PM UTC
You don't know what you're missing!
I'm sure you would enjoy the teasing the little bastards at feeding time when you act like you're going to feed them but then keep pulling the spoon away from their mouth.
More fun than pulling the wings off of flies!
2018-06-05 at 3:24 PM UTC
Can do all that with other peoples kids, no need to own your own.
2018-06-05 at 3:26 PM UTC
-SpectraL
coward
[the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
A little moron and a big moron were sitting on the edge of a high cliff having lunch. The big moron fell off. Why didn't the little moron fall off?
Because he was a little more on.
2018-06-05 at 3:27 PM UTC
Another adult actually allows you near their child?
Time to call in Family and Children's Services.
