2015-09-28 at 7:29 PM UTC
Do you ever get the feeling you're insane? Fundamentally different than everyone else? I don't but then, the insane person wouldn't consider him/herself insane now would he? The closest i've ever come to proper insanity was when i had my stint with MDPV. I took it for three months on end and of those three months maybe i slept a total of one or two weeks. The stimulant psychosis that resulted of that was quite profound. I was convinced there was an elaborate plot and all my family and friends were in on it, i sent them death threats ordering them to cut it out. I was convinced any nook and cranny and hole in the wall was a spy portal for the people living inside the walls.
I carried my 15 inch hunting knife everywhere i went, at some point, i decided i'd smoke the shadow people out of the walls and nearly set fire to the entire house. Everyone was scared of me and didn't know what was going on, lol, feels bad man. Eh who am i kidding, i don't actually feel bad for that but i probably should...
So, how sane are you...
2015-09-28 at 7:38 PM UTC
Im not insane, its everyone else in it that is.
2015-09-28 at 10:04 PM UTC
Dilaudid makes me paranoid and aggressive, and when I was taking it regularly I would sleep with a bersa thunder underneath my pillow.
A few other times I felt 'insane' from taking LSD but that was only fleeting.
Also when I am under a lot of stress and I happen to get really, really pissed off, I sometimes feel like I am going to 'lose it' but if I pause and rationally think 'well, what would I actually do if I 'lost it'? I can't think of anything that would properly express my rage without doing something senseless and deranged, or just throwing an actual, physical, infantile tantrum. Neither of those outcomes are acceptible, so I often just sigh, slump my shoulders like that picture of sploo on the ferris wheel, and just try to shove it all down inside.
2015-09-28 at 11:40 PM UTC
Well I have heart problems now, so I can't be physically expressing my anger as much as I would like to, else I may die painfully. Plus age has calmed me down a lot so I am able to control myself a lot better.
2015-09-29 at 12:06 AM UTC
You may die painfully regardless.
2015-09-29 at 1:03 AM UTC
kroz
weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
you niggas need to get off the crack!