2018-05-25 at 3:20 AM UTC
Like someone else's mediocrity has corrupted my soul and my earthy vibrations are less radiant. I've been in a shitty relationship with an absolutely insane woman and doing lots of opiates over the course of muh incarceration. Now I'm out and have to pick up the pieces. I've never felt so shitty in my life if I'm being honest. I feel more like myself when I'm sitting quietly and staring at a wall or else it's like other demons are licking my ears and giving me wet willies. I'm in a place I've never lived before and everyone seems so fucking lame. Girls just seem to want generic dick and guys all seem small minded and linear. I'm not used to feeling so miserable and I feel like my thoughts are brutalized by the world before they can become actions. I don't even feel like I can write stories like I used to because they don't have a place in this world. I have so many good ideas but I'm so frustrated with the methods of obtaining things. I feel like if I don't hurt a few specific people it will damage my pride and soul and cause me erectile dysfunction as a geriatric. My family and a few friends are the only people I feel the slightest real connection with. I'm ending this relationship and off drugs and it's the fresh start in a new place I need but the usual comfortable degeneracies make me feel human. I feel like I need to stare at a sidewalk then cause a month long time lapse and afterwards the beauty of the world will be swallowed by me.
Halpish
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2018-05-25 at 3:29 AM UTC
You need to eat steaks shirtless and pray to Allah, my friend.
We cannot change what we feel and we cannot change what we think. We can only change what we do and the other two will follow suit. I have learned that in rehab. It is the truth, though. Go back to your old self if that's what you seek but maybe you should leave your current discomfort zone not for the old comfort zone but for a new place so you can re-invent yourself and stop being a goddamn faggot. Howwbout dat?
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2018-05-25 at 3:52 AM UTC
you know as soon as you came back I thought to myself "I hope he hasn't been looking at my posts" because they aren't the posts that you used to appreciate.
FLACON FUCKING TRIGGERED ME BECAUSE HE'S RIGHT
asshole. :)
There is a tier of posters that always understood me and I can literally no longer deliver. I don't try a lot, but sometimes I do, but it's just not the same. I've fried me old brain on booze and weed. I didn't do much any other stupid drugs, but it didn't matter. So now I sit around trying to survive and make it to work so I can get home to pay my rent in my fucking apartment with not even my Chootie Butt to give me a smile when I get home. But I don't do anything to better myself because I suck mostly. I know what I have to do I'm just too pussy to do it. I need forced treatment and that means I have to go commit a crime so what I"m saying is
what crime should I commit? I already have a handful of DUIs.
2018-05-25 at 3:55 AM UTC
I can relate.
I felt the best when I was at the worst place in my life. Surrounded by moral filth and delighted by it. The comfort of accepting to be scum was soothing. It is way harder to try and adjust to be "normal". I feel out of place among those people and their lives. A big part of me wants to go back to the streets and start slangin again but I know what kind of trouble it will bring and I'm not a kid anymore that can get away with wasted time. It is just so very hard to accept.
Damn, it feels good to be a ganster. In this new world I'm just a wanker. A nobody without any accomplishments but a few bad habits I carried over. I used to be someone. Now that that's gone I feel almost crazy trying to be part of this new shit that makes me feel so bad when it used to be so easy to feel good.
It is what it is, though.
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2018-05-25 at 4:01 AM UTC
cum inside me, male individual
2018-05-25 at 4:02 AM UTC
"it is what it is" is like the worst fucking creed. that's all I ever say. OH WELL, IS WHAT IT IS. Such a loser's viewpoint.
