2015-09-02 at 8:52 PM UTC
I'm prescribed 100mg/day but I ate 300mg and snorted 500mg yesterday, and ate 100mg with 500mg snorted. As soon as you snort it something feels strange, like you're suddenly more alert and things (literally) seem brighter, it numbs out your mouth and nose and you feel a wad of tension in your stomach, you start shaking and immediately you want to get shit done, like I drummed for 45 minutes straight with full energy today and usually i dont play for more than 5 minutes at a time. You also feel sapped of life and the tension seems to suggest you might convulse at some point (which all cathinones dp), while I'm typing this right now my hand eye co-ordination is fucked and it's hard for me to type, I keep on writhing my feet around because my body is producing too much energy to be sitting, Everything feels plastic and weightless and my chest is producing some sort of euphoric feeling that emanates throughout the body, it has dissociative properties for me; iIll be sitting there getting lost in some convoluted thought process and I'm just sitting there with my mouth agape doing nothing. It exacerbates my HPPD like crazy because I'm getting static in my vision everywhere and they're multicolored but it's really mild, you have to focus on it to actually notice it. Then when I'm walking down the street to buy cigs people look like machines I guess nicotine receptors are involved with human face processing and everythings weightless sort of like I'm in a video game but at the same time I feel kind of feverish and I keep on hallucinating things out of the corner of my vision which hopefully isn't a psychosis and just a symptom of drug abuse. When I smoked spice last night and visited the temple where I met Arrakis it filled me with dread because now I think he's always going to be interfering with my trips and trying to make me have a heart attack. I think by thinking to myself that Arrakis can't control my thoughts he won't be able to get past my plasma dome which I discussed in my other thread. And now I'm crying because I had some realization about a certain person who views my posts but isn't a totsean. Oh well I wasted the high typing this I wonder if I can come up with anything else cool on the drums because when I play I get locked into some sort of pattern and then I instinctively play that rhythm, it's kind of hard to always improvise. When I come down from this stuff I get the most intense feeling of dread and worthlessness but what comes up must come down as the say, like I realized I sit at my computer doing nothing all day long, every day, and I'm wasting away. My entire life is my computer and it's a fucking sad thing.
2015-09-02 at 9:44 PM UTC
who is the person who isn't a totsean but views your posts?
2015-09-02 at 11:12 PM UTC
Sploo, if you basically live in the computer anyway, wouldn't it be cool to control it in a more fundamental way? Why don't you get into programming, there's a lot of logic involved so you might enjoy it, plus you can create some cool stuff if you get good at it.
2015-09-03 at 2:21 AM UTC
No I need real life friends
