Brah..
Wtf...
I have flash backs here now.
I have flash backs everywhere I go.
This was not supposed to happen.
I pray everyday I will wake up and that this is all a bad dream.
I miss you so much.
I feel lost without you.
You are still my best friend.
I know you are with me.
I am sorry as fuck I wasn't there for you.
I should have been there.
I could have stopped you.
What I live with now is constant hurt and regret.
Look at me though.
I have gotten better.
But I'm still so lost.
You know everything about me.
Without you I feel so hopeless.
I have to be strong.
I will make you proud.
What happened will haunt me forever.
I do not know what to do.
Keep pushing I tell myself.
But what I really want I can never have.
I want you back and I need you.
I love you.
2018-04-29 at 11:14 PM UTC
I honestly do not know what happened.
Did they do this?
I want to kill those bitches.
I feel i must hunt them down and avenge you but it will not fix my pain.
I see the flash in my dreams.
Your head jerking and blood spraying.
It is a nightmare that will never go away.
What the fuck just happened?
OMG
I can not put the pieces together.
Nothing makes sense.
It just went off.
You were gone.
And i am still here.
Trying to get you back.
But you have been burnt to ash.
I have nothing now.
The world is not right.
It is my fault.
I could have stopped it.
But instead i caused it.
What have i done?
My happiness brings instant sadness.
This i will never be able to fix.
I do not deserve to live.
But you deserve to at least live through me.
So i will honor you the best i can.
Our dreams will come true.
I will work hard.
I take you with me.
It's just so different now.
I missed the que.
I failed you.
But from this devestation i have awoken.
I know what you did too.
I was about to die.
Falling to earth i was sure to die.
It is not possible i survived.
Unless something saved me.
But it wasn't apparent to anyone.
It is apparent to me.
You did something and i survived.
I owe you my life.
I want to give you my life.
I just don't know what to do.
I miss you
2018-04-29 at 11:18 PM UTC
This place brings hurt.
You shared this with me.
I pretend you are here.
I wait to see your post.
I just hate myself.
I hate myself for this.
God.
Grant me the serenity to accept the things I can not change.
The courage to change the things that I can.
And the wisdom to know the difference.
