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Niggas in Space > I've Got 99 Problems... and They're All Bitches > ugh

ugh

  1. 2018-04-17 at 2:20 PM UTC
    #1
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
  2. 2018-04-17 at 2:21 PM UTC
    #2
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Internal hemorrhoids can and do go away on their own. Unfortunately they can also do the opposite and become worse. You’ll know when this happens because of an increase in pain and discomfort.

    for fucks sake. I THINK they're getting worse? going to take it very easy the next few days. not going to the gym, going to sit up straight, etc. fuck my life...
  3. 2018-04-17 at 2:26 PM UTC
    #3
    Soyboy African Astronaut [relevantly rival my dehydroretinol]
    Are they bleeding? If not just take panadol and codeine and ibuprofen and booze and go about your business. If they are, same, just wear one of those nappies women wear on their periods.
  4. 2018-04-17 at 2:27 PM UTC
    #4
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Originally posted by MORALLY SUPERIOR BEING Are they bleeding? If not just take panadol and codeine and ibuprofen and booze and go about your business. If they are, same, just wear one of those nappies women wear on their periods.

    they're not bleeding but my anus hurts

    i'm actually depressed, like really depressed. i've lost the will to live.
  5. 2018-04-17 at 2:31 PM UTC
    #5
    Soyboy African Astronaut [relevantly rival my dehydroretinol]
    Topical NSAIDs (such as Feldene Gel, Orudis Gel, Nurofen Gel, Dencorub Anti-inflammatory Gel and Voltaren Osteo Gel) are creams or gels that are usually used for muscular aches and pains

    Get some of these gels and squirt it up there, it numbs you nicely.

    Then go do some cardio.
  6. 2018-04-17 at 2:31 PM UTC
    #6
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Why don’t you get something for the pain from the doctor
  7. 2018-04-17 at 2:33 PM UTC
    #7
    Soyboy African Astronaut [relevantly rival my dehydroretinol]
    Originally posted by Fox Paws Why don’t you get something for the pain from the doctor

    Anglosphere doctors aren't like yank doctors, they won't give him a script for oxycontin or anything, they basically think that it's good to suffer.
  8. 2018-04-17 at 2:35 PM UTC
    #8
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Originally posted by Fox Paws Why don’t you get something for the pain from the doctor

    my doctor's a fucking retard, i swear he's googling the fucking answers when i tell him about my problems

    i need a new, better doctor, but they all seem to be just as bad.
  9. 2018-04-18 at 12:02 PM UTC
    #9
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Originally posted by Enter my doctor's a fucking retard, i swear he's googling the fucking answers when i tell him about my problems

    i need a new, better doctor, but they all seem to be just as bad.

    I can't stand doctors nowadays and do absolutely everything in my power to avoid going to them unless I want a prescription

    The only things they seem to know are what drug reps/insurance companies tell them. It's like nobody becomes a doctor to help people anymore, they just want the money.

    Psychiatrists are even worse.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  10. 2018-04-18 at 11:36 PM UTC
    #10
    Soyboy African Astronaut [relevantly rival my dehydroretinol]
    Originally posted by Juicebox I can't stand doctors nowadays and do absolutely everything in my power to avoid going to them unless I want a prescription

    The only things they seem to know are what drug reps/insurance companies tell them. It's like nobody becomes a doctor to help people anymore, they just want the money.

    Psychiatrists are even worse.

    Same. They are bureaucrats, nothing more. Mine doesn't even do sutures anymore.
  11. 2018-04-18 at 11:37 PM UTC
    #11
    Soyboy African Astronaut [relevantly rival my dehydroretinol]
    Originally posted by Enter my doctor's a fucking retard, i swear he's googling the fucking answers when i tell him about my problems

    Lucky you. The ones here just make shit up.
  12. 2018-04-18 at 11:53 PM UTC
    #12
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    what if they don't go away? EVER? Imagine the rest of your life with your crippling hemorrhoids. That's probably what's gonna happen.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  13. 2018-04-19 at 12:31 AM UTC
    #13
    Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
    ^ I never thought of it that way. I also think this is the most likely outcome.
  14. 2018-04-19 at 1:07 AM UTC
    #14
    Soyboy African Astronaut [relevantly rival my dehydroretinol]
    First of all little Enter lets rename your hemorrhoids into something more user friendly: painful ass blood clusters.

    Now let's consider your options in getting rid of them: asshole cauterisation.

    You never told us your blood pressure by the way.

    Mine in low. So low I have regular dizzy spells. I bet yours is high. Hemorrhoid people generally have high BP. How does it feel like? I feel dizzy standing up, but your whole asshole hurts. Serves you right.
  15. 2018-04-19 at 1:44 AM UTC
    #15
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Just keep putting hemorrhoid cream on them. They'll probably grow until they pop, and then won't come back. Epsom salt baths too.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  16. 2018-04-19 at 1:52 AM UTC
    #16
    Soyboy African Astronaut [relevantly rival my dehydroretinol]
    Oh lol, lidocaine is illegal in Australia.

    Bet you wish you'd visited those fijian pharmacies now, huh, little Enter?

    You can buy benzocaine there though.

    https://www.healthdirect.gov.au/medicines/brand/amt,57371000168108/lanacane-c-3---0.5

    Spray that right up your asshole after a good bath or shower. And epsom salts - don't forget then.

    And the Voltaren/diclofenac gel as well.

    Basically unless your shit is cancer right in your heart, pain is inexcusable. I know someone who had cancer pain right on his heart.
  17. 2018-04-19 at 6:51 AM UTC
    #17
    LegalizeSpiritualDiscovery Space Nigga [my yellow-marked arboreous hypnotist]
    Originally posted by Enter for fucks sake. I THINK they're getting worse? going to take it very easy the next few days. not going to the gym, going to sit up straight, etc. fuck my life…

    You're probably wiping too hard.
  18. 2018-04-19 at 7:14 AM UTC
    #18
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Enters asshole sure is popular these days. Everyones talking about it.
  19. 2018-05-03 at 11:39 PM UTC
    #19
    Soyboy African Astronaut [relevantly rival my dehydroretinol]
    Originally posted by Misguided Russian Enters asshole sure is popular these days. Everyones talking about it.

    Sadly, like griffon meat, no one ever got to taste it.
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