2018-04-17 at 8:05 PM UTC
Zanick
motherfucker
[my p.a. supernal goa]
I went to the library and asked if I could see their collection of Karens. When I got to the shelf, I saw them in a sorry state, all out of order and water damaged. With the librarian's permission, I ran a dehumidifier for several hours and rearranged them in the proper sequence according to the DDS. Once they were dried and ordered, I proceeded to scan each crumpled page with a software I designed myself for this very purpose, building off of techniques used to restore the Dead Sea Scrolls. Except this wouldn't be for some lame document authored by a blasphemous goat herder, this would be for the preservation of my Karen.
I assembled an anthology of Karen, and I thought my work was finished. I was wrong. On the last page, I discovered a couplet that appeared to hint at the storage of millions of Karens in an underground observatory in a long-dead civilization. Given that these words had never been read before, I had to assume it was still there. It was.
I rushed to a developing country and asked to see the one they had built it on top of. Shortly thereafter, I was guided to a subterranean world filled with riches and antiques. I burned all of this, and continued on the road to Karen. Through this ashen underworld I pressed on, sustained only by thoughts of Karen. Eventually I came upon a vault sealed in gold, with "Karen" branded in Sanskrit on its exterior. I grabbed the handle and slid the ancient door open.
