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Is it reasonable to expect to have a monogamous partner?
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2018-04-13 at 1:53 AM UTCI grew up just always assuming monogamous relationships are the way things are done. It was wrong to cheat on your partner and it would be totally normal to find one person to spend the rest of your life with. But the older I get, the less convinced I am. People have sexual urges and fulfilling them with someone else doesn't necessarily mean they don't love their partner. The desire to have complete control of your partner's sexuality seems insecure and weird to me these days. Especially when it extends far beyond sexual things, like when someone gets angry at their partner for simply talking to someone of the opposite sex in a friendly manner. It just seems like such a beta male thing to do or something.
But at the same time, I'd still be pissed if I got cheated on. And I wouldn't cheat on my gf these days because I know it would upset her a lot. So idk. I can't reconcile my intellectual and emotional beliefs. Anyone got any ideas? -
2018-04-13 at 1:55 AM UTCI think anyone and everyone will cheat under the right (or wrong) circumstances
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2018-04-13 at 1:58 AM UTCI think romantic exclusivity is a natural impulse, but not everyone is ruled by it and alternatives should be encouraged.
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2018-04-13 at 2 AM UTC
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2018-04-13 at 2 AM UTCHow naive is this guy lol
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2018-04-13 at 2:05 AM UTCWhat, as if men haven't tallied the number of other men women have slept with since the beginning of numbers? People get territorial about other people, it's shitty but it's what we do.
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2018-04-13 at 2:09 AM UTCThat just means slut shaming is a natural impulse. Not necessarily monogamy.
On the contrary I think we had to come up with these BS rituals like marriage etc to kind of force people to be with only one person. I’d argue there’s actually a long standing culture of suppressing our natural urge to fuck as many attractive partners as possible all day errday -
2018-04-13 at 2:11 AM UTCwomen are objects, relationships shouldn't exist. they're a product of this shitty society.
i'm not saying that because I like that idea, btw. It's just the truth. -
2018-04-13 at 2:11 AM UTC
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2018-04-13 at 2:14 AM UTC
Originally posted by Bueno You would want to support a woman who sleeps around while "being with you"?
No I’m on board with greenplastic’s sentiment in the OP.
I think we all have a natural tendency to WANT to cheat. We just do everything we can to suppress that urge because we don’t want to hurt our partner. And we don’t want them to hurt us.
Edit: To answer your question, if I found out my bih was slutting around on me I’d be fuckin pissed -
2018-04-13 at 2:24 AM UTCYou'll note I specified romantic exclusivity and not sexual exclusivity.
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2018-04-13 at 2:25 AM UTC
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2018-04-13 at 2:27 AM UTC
Originally posted by Zanick You'll note I specified romantic exclusivity and not sexual exclusivity.
Hmm that’s a valid distinction. Didn’t really think about that aspect.
Well even in that case, I think that relationships evolve over time.. and sometimes you may be with someone that you still love but not in the same way as you used to when it was fresh. And then you might meet someone else that makes you feel that romantic spark again.
I admit that not every relationship will evolve in this way though. If you find someone you can stay passionate about for the rest of your life then you’re really lucky. And yeah I think that’s something we all want deep down -
2018-04-13 at 2:30 AM UTC
Originally posted by Fox Paws Hmm that’s a valid distinction. Didn’t really think about that aspect.
Well even in that case, I think that relationships evolve over time.. and sometimes you may be with someone that you still love but not in the same way as you used to when it was fresh. And then you might meet someone else that makes you feel that romantic spark again.
I admit that not every relationship will evolve in this way though. If you find someone you can stay passionate about for the rest of your life then you’re really lucky. And yeah I think that’s something we all want deep down
I think we are more in agreement than you realize. But, for the sake of argument, I would say that resigning yourself to hopelessly resuscitating a lifeless, sexless marriage is the kind of mature bullshit decision that keeps empires running. Do you really believe we could sustain a world in which people are free to choose their partners and leave them at their leisure? -
2018-04-13 at 2:36 AM UTC
Originally posted by Zanick Do you really believe we could sustain a world in which people are free to choose their partners and leave them at their leisure?
We all have free will. We already live in that world lol. I mean, except in places like the Philippines where divorce is illegal.
But no I get what you mean. Yeah I guess it would be pretty chaotic if we lived in a world where there was no marriage, or even the concept of commitment at all.
Although that’s what we may be heading for since the dawn of the age of dating apps. Who knows
