I just got home and I honestly do not know what to think right now. I thought I was doing good answering all the questions. Unfortunately others thought I did not do so good.
It started off good. I had arrived early and was mentally prepared (so I thought) My name is called (by a woman) and I an escorted to a conference room. I enter to see multiple people sitting in seats around a big table and I am gestured to sit at the end of the table. I take my seat and am informed that people will be sitting in on this (supposedly for educational reasons). The woman sits next to me and she is fucking gorgeous 9/10 She pulls out a big packet of papers and I assume I just have to fill them out. I am relieved at this point because I have taken several practice psych tests I found online and I know how to answer them to make it seem I have no serious problems. The beautiful woman then says I do not need to fill them out and that she was instead going to ask me each question and fill them out for me. Now I am freaking out because that means I have to talk to this very pretty lady for the entirety of the evaluation and keep my story straight verbally (I had not practiced this). I remained composed and began answering questions about myself and how I ended up in this situation. My answers were consistently short, and to the point. She moved onto some simple math questions all of which I answered with 100% accuracy almost immediately without any thought. She was impressed that I knew how to add and subtract so good. (I suddenly felt pretty confident about this whole thing) My ego was growing and I began to let my guard down. As I adjust my seat to elevate my height and show my dominance she proceeds onto some memory question. I thought I did well but I could not recall if she said "dog, cat and apple" or something else so I might have got one of those wrong. Now I am nervous because I am starting to fail. The next set of questions dealt with my drug history. I answered these honestly but had trouble remembering what happened to me and when it was. She started applying pressure to the game and began to ask me if I was sexually assaulted. Without missing a beat I reply "no mam" Without missing a beat she responded "According to this you were" Now I am caught in a lie. I do not know what to do at this point so I just start saying "pass" to everything she asks me. Angry I make my chair go higher. She senses that I was "beta" and turned to the next page of questions She says "Lets talk about traumatic events in your life" She begins with asking me about my childhood. I tell her there are no traumas in my life at all. She starts to ask what it was like for me in school. I lie and tell her it was great. She proceeds to ask me about my adult life. I once again tell her I have never experienced and trauma. She moved on asking me about my relationships. I do not want to talk about this either but she informs me that I can not leave everything blank. I tell her about my sexual partners and how I beat them. I tell her how my beating of women is usually related to my drug use. She asks if I have any friends. I bend some truth here and reply "Yes, I am talking to many people" She asks me who. I tell her about Kinkou and some of the people I know from here. She asks me how often I see them. I reply that I never have actually met them. Most of the people I talk to live in other states or countries. Now she thinks I have imaginary friends... How did you meet these people? I met them by posting my phone number on the internet. What? Why would you do that? I go on to tell her how important I am and how I need to know people in the middle east for reasons... people in south america for reasons... people in Europe for reasons... She then asks me what I do all day. I tell her most of my day is spent interacting with people from Space. She looks at me funny and asks if I knew where I was. I decide it is not a good thing to be talking about Space Niggas. She asks what I am feeling and I sigh and say that I am not feeling much of anything and that I never do. She asks me if I am suicidal. I like talking about suicide so I go into a deep discussion about killing myself and how I encourage it. At this point she asks me if I am suicidal again. I tell her no. She asks if I have tried to kill myself. I figure now is the time to try and tell the truth so I tell her of my suicide attempts. At this point one of the other people chimes in and asks me what I have to live for.. I am just living because I am, I reply They then ask me what I want out of life. I tell them I dont like this at all and to please hurry up and get this over with. They then start to ask me what I like about myself. I say "pass" What do you enjoy? I enjoy nothing" About this time everyone walks out of the room except for me and the pretty lady. She takes a deep breath and apologizes for their inconsiderate questions. I start to smile and then I hear them talking in the hallway "Major Depressive Disorder" HAHAHA I look down at my shoes "The guys life sucks so bad he doesnt even know what he is doing" HAHAHA I look at my shoes longer. "Fucking christ did he really just say all that shit" At this point she says they are probably talking about someone else. I ask her if she has anymore questions. She asks me "Do you want some help? Would you be willing to go to treatment today?" I tell her I just got out of treatment. She looks shocked I ask her if I can go back and answer some of her questions differently. She tells me no but that I can add to them. I assume this is a bad idea. She tells me that I only have a couple more questions. I tell her I want to leave. She says I can not leave yet I tell her that this whole thing is stupid and that you can not understand me because you are not on my level. I stand up and tell her that the rest of the evaluation is not necessary and that she can just write "pass" I get up and walk out and go home.
Umm a psych evaluation isn't an opportunity to unload your issues on your therapist. It's supposed to be something you bluff and hope no one finds out how fucked up you are (even normies are fucked up).
