2015-08-07 at 12:49 PM UTC
kroz
weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
I finnally started balling again and I was selling exxos by the UT campus and I was able to have a 3sum with 2 girls. We basically had sex all night and fell asleep at 10 am. But my dad who's in the military who pays my rent just randomly showed up and opened the door and walked in. He's like "goddamn son, it smells like goddamn asshole in here?! Wanna get some pancakes?
It was very awakard with these 2 girls and I having pancakes at the waffle house with him...
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I was at a party with my now ex gf with her trendy friends with generic tattoos, she got really drunk and squatted wearing a mini skirt, over a dudes face that was passed out... people were taking pictures and posting them on facebook
Because I'm known to be an asshole I decided to talk to her in private. I said "wtf are you doing babe? you're embarassing me and we just got back together, you said you're "broken" but I figured you'd give me a little respect since you said you missed me.
She said "ohhhhh commmon Bill Krozbyler, we're just having fun, lighten up fly boi.!"
So when she came home from work (i dont have a job) I was fucking a hooker on our bed. She starting yelling and screaming and pulling out her hair, I said
"whats wrong hun we're just having fun? It was cheap it was good... You knew I was a fly boi when you met me...
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I asked my gf if I could titty fuck her, and she said "whats in it for me? it doesn't sound like it would do anything for me."
I said "well when I cum I will stop punching you in the face."
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what do you call the black ghost's favorite cereal?
BOO BERRY
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i woke up early because I had dry mouth from drinking earlier in the night. I went to go sit on the toilet and I sat on my cat who was drinking from the bowl, I pushed his head in slightly and yelled "goddamnit bubba! "
My parents called me and asked how I was doing doing, I said I'm doing alright, just chillin. (even though a cat just scratched my asshole)
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
2015-08-07 at 12:50 PM UTC
kroz
weak whyte, frothy cuck, and former twink
Feel free to ad any of your own jokes =)
2015-08-07 at 3:53 PM UTC
Bill Krozby's mere presence is a joke
2015-08-07 at 5:57 PM UTC
-SpectraL
coward
[the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
A big moron and a little moron were sitting on a cliff overlooking the city. The big moron fell off. Why didn't the little moron fall off?
A. Because he was a little more on.
2015-08-07 at 6:37 PM UTC
Spectral and DaGuru were sitting a cliff overlooking the alley behind Tim Hortons. DaGuru fell off. Why didn't Spectral fall off? Because Spectral was in the middle of changing socks.
2015-08-08 at 6:04 AM UTC
-SpectraL
coward
[the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
What US state is high in the middle and round at both ends?
A. Ohio
2015-08-09 at 11:47 AM UTC
what do you call an IQ
not Bill Krozby
2015-08-09 at 4:48 PM UTC
My existence walks into a bar.
2015-08-11 at 3:29 AM UTC
You fucking terrify me son.
2015-08-11 at 3:45 AM UTC
Something, something, turnip trucks.
