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The Trainwreck Tale of the Insatiable Bill Krozby
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2018-02-19 at 7:32 AM UTCBill Krozby was born into this world much like everyone else. Crying and screaming, his little plump legs kicking into the air. The boy was healthy and happy. He ate well, shat well, and in time, even learned how to walk well. To the time-deaf parents of Bill Krozby, everything was as it should be.
At the age of three, Bill Krozby had his first girlfriend. "Cute," his parents called it. They told jokes in private. "Pretty soon they'll be getting married!" His mother once giggled. It became so 'cute' that they began to encourage it. "Well aren't you going to kiss your girlfriend goodbye?" They said. And Bill Krozby did.
Years passed and the children grew up. Bill Krozby had remained friends with this girl, though the wedding jokes had long since passed. They played regularly after school in the small outcrop behind the playground. The children enjoyed how quiet and wide it was back there, but more importantly, they enjoyed the lack of adults. It wasn't often that they got to frolic unsupervised, so they took every chance they could get to slip behind the rocks. And the parents didn't mind. They were good kids after all.
"I'm tired of tag," Bill Krozby said, exasperated. "How about we play a new game?"
Jenny sat in the dirt. "Like what?"
"You wanna play Doctor?" Bill Krozby asked. He'd been planning this for some time.
"Sure, what do I do?"
Bill Krozby smiled.
"Just lay down on that rock like you're at the doctor's office. I'll be the doctor and this will be my sethoscope!"
"Your what?" Jenny questioned.
"You know, that cold thing that the doctors use to listen to your heart?"
"I think it's called a stethoscope."
'Source?' Bill Krozby thought to himself.
"It doesn't matter though," Jenny said sweetly, moving over to the rock. "Let's just play."
Bill Krozby grabbed the rock he'd picked up earlier and put it to Jenny's chest. His heart bounced.
"Uh, Bill Krozby? I don't think the doctors do it like that."
"Oh what?" Bill Krozby rushed to say. He was glad the hot sun hid his red face. "Sorry, I haven't been to the doctor in a while. I forgot how it goes. Why don't you be the doctor instead?"
"Erm, okay." Jenny twirled nervously in her head as they switched spots. She cleared her throat, pretending to look up from a clipboard. "So Mr. Bill Krozby, what seems to be the problem?"
"Well I've got this pain right here."
"In your stomach?"
"No, a little lower."
Jenny placed her hand on Bill Krozby's abdomen. "Here?"
"Lower."
Jenny went lower.
"Lower," Bill Krozby demanded.
"Bill Krozby, I don't think we should be-" Jenny looked down as her hand was pulled away from her. "Bill Krozby WHAT ARE YOU-"
"SHUT UP YOU FUCKING SLAMPIG, THIS IS WHAT DOCTORS DO!"
Yanking herself away, Jenny ran off towards the playground in tears. She thought about telling somebody, but didn't want to get Bill Krozby in trouble. He was such a good friend. Or at least he had been. What Bill Krozby did felt wrong, but maybe it was her who was wrong. Maybe doctors actually did do that. How could she know? She wasn't a doctor. It was all so confusing to young Jenny, who had never seen or heard of anything like what she'd just experienced.
A grin spread slowly over Bill Krozby's face. His father was right, that was fun.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!- kroz,
- NARCassist,
- -SpectraL,
- HTS,
- D4NG0
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2018-02-19 at 7:42 AM UTCi literally laughed at the last line. did you actually write that.
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2018-02-19 at 7:44 AM UTCthats pretty cute, my slammer in dc that won cupcake wars has started talking to me again and her name is jenny and we joke about me calling her my nigger whore and slammer, she knows i have a gf but she said she will see me when she sells her house.
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2018-02-19 at 7:44 AM UTC
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2018-02-19 at 7:49 AM UTC
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2018-02-19 at 7:50 AM UTC
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2018-02-19 at 7:51 AM UTC
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2018-02-19 at 7:52 AM UTC
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2018-02-19 at 7:54 AM UTCYeah but the last time I saw jenny we went to Hamilton pool just outside of austin, i new she was going so we took off our clothes and went into the water I then climbed up on some rocks and i started banging her and i got kinda freaked out because i felt like we were in a kinda private place but some old couple walked by and saw us like a mile away and just walked away.
We went back to her place and got some stuff that she couldn't take with her on the airplane and we went back to my place, she went and had dinner with friend and came back with some brew and we watched a movie and went to bed. I banged her in the morning and kissed her goodbye that was like 2 years ago. -
2018-02-19 at 7:55 AM UTC
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2018-02-19 at 7:56 AM UTC
Originally posted by Bill Krozby to have a Bill Krozbydog shop and have a kid with my gf.
you have a kid already
do you actually care about her
if you had the choice between a trillion dollars and your daughter dying, or to be poor for the rest of your life and your daughter staying alive, what would you choose -
2018-02-19 at 7:57 AM UTCactually don't answer, i don't want to know. the answer would depress me.
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2018-02-19 at 7:58 AM UTC
Originally posted by Enter if you had the choice between a trillion dollars and your daughter dying, or to be poor for the rest of your life and your daughter staying alive, what would you choose
if you had the choice between a trillion dollars and your daughter dying, or to be poor for the rest of your life and your daughter staying alive, what would you choose
actually don't answer, i don't want to know. the answer would depress me. -
2018-02-19 at 7:58 AM UTC
Originally posted by Enter you have a kid already
do you actually care about her
if you had the choice between a trillion dollars and your daughter dying, or to be poor for the rest of your life and your daughter staying alive, what would you choose
I would choose the million dollars and have a better kid with a woman i actually love and get a Bill Krozby dog stand and give a lot of money to charity while being a success and smoking a lot of meth, are you a functional retard? -
2018-02-19 at 7:58 AM UTCyou're pathetic, you know that yeh?
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2018-02-19 at 7:58 AM UTCLol you've been with her for 10 months and already your dream is to have a kid with her?
Even in fiction i cant top what a scumbag you are. Stop spawning. -
2018-02-19 at 7:58 AM UTC
Originally posted by Bill Krozby I would choose the million dollars and have a better kid with a woman i actually love and get a Bill Krozby dog stand and give a lot of money to charity while being a success and smoking a lot of meth, are you a functional retard?
oh my fucking god.
oh my FUCKING god. -
2018-02-19 at 7:59 AM UTC
Originally posted by Bill Krozby I would choose the million dollars and have a better kid with a woman i actually love and get a Bill Krozby dog stand and give a lot of money to charity while being a success and smoking a lot of meth, are you a functional retard?
i actually can't believe what i just read
you even replied before i changed "million dollars" to "trillion". -
2018-02-19 at 8 AM UTCall Bill Krozbydog proceedings go to rape victims
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2018-02-19 at 8:01 AM UTC
