2016-05-21 at 4:18 PM UTC
It turned me into a fucking pussy. I'm watching old horror movies and I'm disgusted at the fact that I used to root for the bad guys, even though I know I was happier and comfier back when I was on the bad guys' side. I actually took PLEASURE in something, even if that something was sadism, but it's like all the mdma got rid of that sadistic side of me. Fuck... :(
2016-05-21 at 4:21 PM UTC
Oh, who gives a fuck. I'm such a rambling shit head. I couldn't be into horror movies forever. 70 years old and fantasizing about being otis driftwood would've been sad as fuck.
2016-05-21 at 4:31 PM UTC
I just want something I can enjoy again.
2016-05-21 at 5:25 PM UTC
I can't even get off on hating women anymore, but that isn't mdma's fault, although I did have that revelation while rolling. I can't play the victim and be like "boo hoo women don't wanna date me so I hate all women" since women DO want to date me.
I'm so pathetic that I'm not even pathetic. I'm not amazing but I'm not shit either. I'm stuck in the middle ground, where I have to actually work to be liked, or work to be hated.
Ugh, is that even a bad thing?
It was comforting being the victim. It was comforting to sit back and say, "the world hates me, so I hate the world". But I can't do that anymore. I'd be lying to myself if I said that, so it wouldn't be comforting at all.
What the fuck am I even rambling about? Is anybody listening to me?
I'm stuck in the playing field now. I can't just hide away like I used to. I have to play this game and live in this society. But what do I do? What do I want to achieve?
2016-05-21 at 5:29 PM UTC
MDMA messed me up as well or better the company I took it with. It's too easy and not fair towards myself to blame a drug, though.
2016-05-21 at 6:37 PM UTC
Watch Nightcrawler if you haven't already and see if it makes you okay with rooting for the "bad" guy; it's not a horror film.
2016-05-21 at 9:43 PM UTC
MDMA is way more harmful than meth but none of the teenagers near me know anything about drugs So they assume its like weed you can do it all day eery day.
YEAH LOL MOLLY CYRUS TAKE AN X PILL AND SOME E OH YEAH DRAINS YOUR SPINAL FLUID I ROLL 10 TIMES A WEEK LOL MOONROCKS ERRY DAY!!!.
You can do meth/weed every day and get high. I did MDMA for 5 months straight once a week and shit just got trippy and painful near the end.
2016-05-23 at 6:19 AM UTC
It is a very highly rated/acclaimed film, and it well deserves it. One of the few modern firms that is genuinely...good.
2016-05-30 at 1:04 PM UTC
I was wrong, I was thinking of myself. Bloom's the kind of character I would have aspired to in the past.
