2015-06-30 at 8:36 PM UTC
I'm not tired in the sense that I'm physically or mentally tired, because I am actually quite awake with maximum perceptiveness, acuity, congruent triancly, and intimacy. I am The Boobyverse X= X 1 = 0 bitches. I do feel sort of bad because my emotions get all dysregulated from consistent chemical cocktails (a type of fish) and then I get in multi-hour freakout mode with parents + constant arguments. I don't even know where my dad went right now but he's probably thinking "son I am disappoint". I keep on trying to act nicer to people but then I start fiending for a cigarette or whatever else and I get into a hyperaggressive mode where I say whatever's on my mind and verbally destroy whoever is around me. I think sometimes I might be suicidally depressed but my lifestyle is so unstable that I can never know how I'm going to be feeling one moment to the next and then ************&&&&&&&&&BOOCO^^^^^^^^^^^. I also get thought blocking sometimes where I just totally lose my train of thought which is typically neverending because I literally live inside my own universe which is projected outside into my perceptions by my imagination. I need more time to find out if I'm suicidally depressed I guess which sounds like a lot of fun. I have honestly fried my dopamine circuits like when you have amphetamine in your body not only is it prevention reuptake of dopamine to some extent it's also pushing vesicles of dopamine into the synapse so you get a dual action euphoria. It activates the trace amine receptor too which I guess might be associated with euphoria. Sometimes it's hard to tell whether I'm actually intoxicated at the moment or not because speed is kind of a subtle thing, you get totally immersed in whatever you're doing and if that thing is writing you tend to do alot, but because vyvanse is the dextrorotary isomer of amphetamine the effects are primarily cognitive and there is less peripheral stimulation which would cause a genuine "tweaked out" feeling but not so much euphoria. It's kind of dissociating in a way because it makes you focus on something intently which causes you to be in a state of flow which makes you disregard your body for the most part. Actually, since the words I speak are immediate introspection and metaintrospection I've noticed that my thoughts have become more tangential to some extent like I started off talking about how I fried my dopamine circuits but then I went on into the neuroscience of it but what I actually meant to say is if you mix vyvanse with spice you're living in a short bubble of time where everything is perfect and you just KNOW it's destroying your dopamine because you get extreme paranoid schizophrenia symptoms similar to those cause by D2 receptor hyperactivity and excitotoxicity. I also,,,elaborating on the mental world thing...I have so many cognitions that are limited to nonverbal perceptions that I almost feel like I don't even know them because I use them for reasoning but when I try to extract those categories of thoughts as individual factors I am not capable of doing so, instead it is just used in a reasoning process and then promptly returns to the subconscious. It's hard to say exactly what purpose consciousness serves in reasoning, versus subconscious or unconscious processes, wouldn't you agree? Maybe consciousness is primarily an attention thing, where you know which piece of your enviorment to allocate your lower level cognitions which are sub/unconscious to.
2015-06-30 at 9:02 PM UTC
At least you used paragraphs this time.
2015-06-30 at 10:10 PM UTC
ITT: OP becomes unreadable
Paragraphs removed
2015-07-01 at 1:14 AM UTC
You're a fucking trip, man. A trip thats tripping. Its worth reading at least the first half of the "paragraph" every time.
2015-07-11 at 5:52 PM UTC
Robert Flynn, author of the Flynn effect, walks down the isle to be greeted by an applause thundering through the entire stadium. He picks up a pair of sneakers, and ties the shoelaces on each one. What he did next, however, was unprecedented. He ties the tied shoelace with the other tied shoelace, making a self repeating pattern in knots, which opens up the fractal vortex to 9th dimensional entities, and shit gets really real then. Through the matrix of lacing comes forth poltergeists of undetermined form which cause the consciousnesses of certain individuals to swap with the consciousness of other individuals, creating a knot between consciousnesses that is puppeteered by the 9th dimensional entities. None of this event takes place on a perceptual level, but instead cosmic predeterminations cause individuals to interact with one another in a planned out fashion, the humans of the conference becoming pawns on a chessboard with strings connecting various black and white pieces to add another variable.
2015-07-12 at 6:20 AM UTC
I built up so much striatal dopamine from NDRI actions of massive focalin doses for 3 days then released all of it from the propylhexedrine today
haze is good
dementia is no good
2019-06-06 at 12:54 AM UTC
Dregs
African Astronaut
[that freakishly double-edged allmouth]
can't believe i read that op but i was enthralled to say the least.
