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Simulating taking a piss for drug test.

  1. #1
    If you ever had to take a piss test for a job or w/e, and already have some clean piss stored in the freezer, how could you make it look like you're pissin if you're unlucky enough to have to have somebody observe?
  2. #2
    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    Cost:$<20

    Materials:

    2 Pairs Boxer briefs
    2 Small Hand warmer (outdoors store, pharmacy)
    1 Balloon or condom, (I like balloon typical party balloon size)
    1 3inch piece of 1/4in fish tank tubing
    1 ft floss
    1 turkey baster (optional)
    1 thermometer, analog
    1 microwave
    1 coffee mug
    someones clean piss...

    Instructions:

    1: Acquire someone's clean urine sample. Have them pee in a cup with a lid preferably.
    A: Immediately store it in your refrigerator. 30min max I would say from pee to fridge time. You preferably want this done the night before, or more ideal the morning of and you will not need to refrigerate it.(fresher the better)

    2:Up to 2 hours before Pee time(maybe more)depending on your hand warmer, Get your balloon or condom and rinse it with water 2 times,(this helps get the smell of latex out and if your sample is getting sent to a GC/MS it is less likely to show up and look suspicious...though they should not be looking for peaks for latex...)(i did it like this via GC/MS and it worked)

    3.Microwave your cup of pee for about 30 seconds if its been in the fride, and check temp with thermometer, 85-95 is good for now.

    4.Place your balloon in the coffee mug, have your floss and fish tank tubing ready,

    5.Now get your turkey baster and baste the warm pee into the balloon, if you don't have one then your gonna get piss on your hands...small price to pay, 30mL will do. make sure there is some sag room, will tell you why coming up

    6.Now stick the fish tank tubing into the balloon so its about an inch in the neck.

    7.Wrap the floss around the tubing around the outside of the balloon neck at least 20 times tightly and tie it off.

    8.This is where you need some sag room, now you need to have enough room to twist the balloon about three times so it will seal it self and fold over, if you have too much pee then you can just let some out so it will twist about three times and fold.

    9. Now activate your hand warmer put it in the coffee mug with your twisted/folded balloon apparatus and thermometer and its ready to go.

    10.Put on your two pairs of boxer briefs. Now if you notice boxer briefs have a large pocket right under your sack area and this is where you will be putting your twisted/folded balloon apparatus and your hand warmer. You want two pairs because those heating pads will get warm and can get uncomfortably hot for your sack.

    11.Drive to your appointment with the apparatus in the cup and thermometer in there, check the temp, it usually will get warmer in your boxers put that wont be much of an issue.

    12.When you get there make sure no one is looking in the car and put the warmer outside the first pair of boxers, preferably in the pocket I described on the outside pair, along with your twisted/folded balloon apparatus, making sure to leave the fish tank tubing facing up towards your cock,(its best to have the filled part resting on top of the twister hose part so gravity is working in your favor

    13.When you go to pee you do not even have to take thing out but reach in with both hands and the balloon should be able to flop over and untwist easily, if someone is watching you can just run the tube on the under side of your dick and no one will be able to see it, squeeze the balloon VERY slowly, this way it will sound more real or preferably no sound at all vs having a big plop of urine in the cup

    NOTES:You will want to practice this at least one time before you do it just for a troubleshooting run, do it with warm water and the extra hand warmer. They will be looking for a temperature between 96-101ish, there should be a thermometer strip on the cup that you will be able to read, ALWAYS make sure your urine is hotter than you think it needs to be before you go in because you can just "urinate" into the cup and let it sit for a minute pretending you can't pee yet and wait for it to get into the acceptable temperature range.

    https://www.shroomery.org/forums/showflat.php/Number/15932806
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