2017-12-28 at 11:51 AM UTC
#questionsthatkeepmeupatnight
2017-12-28 at 12:17 PM UTC
listen you fucker
those terms are just made up by society
if you really hate the world and people that much, stop living by their fucking made up, bullshit diagnosis.
this is what you are: you're a drug addicted, isolated human.
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2017-12-28 at 12:25 PM UTC
i kind of agree
but i used to think im a psychopath but then i realized primary psychopaths are literally incapable of love, shame, basically any emotion (think proots and unwyred)
but then there are a whole bunch of categories for people who arent completely emotionless but still highly psychopathic and it becomes an arbitrary game of guessing whats actually wrong with me or what fits best. im sure as hell not revealing myself to an actual psychiatrist. for example. if the cutoff for psychopathy on the PCL-R is 30, and i'd most likely score 25-30, that means i'm not psychopathic, but clearly being right below the cutoff of psychopathy wouldnt logically imply that im neurotypical. and then other people are saying the pcl-r wouldn't be an accurate assessment of psychopathy and that Ted Bundy is actually a "malignant narcissist". im sure thats just people spreading disinformation because he CLEARLY was, but it becomes so hard to disentangle information from disinformation with all of these evil faggots telling me their own opinion on what is the "correctZ" meaning of a diagnose. basically they all deserve to die
2017-12-28 at 12:31 PM UTC
tl;dr im stuck in a rabbit hole of confusion/self analysis over nothing/meaningless manipulation
2017-12-28 at 12:39 PM UTC
Obbe
Alan What?
[annoy my right-angled speediness]
Originally posted by Fromus Krokus
tl;dr im stuck in a rabbit hole of confusion/self analysis over nothing/meaningless manipulation
"Life on easy mode"
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2017-12-28 at 12:45 PM UTC
do you get depersonalization disorder or have any attachment disorders sploo?
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2017-12-28 at 12:48 PM UTC
for example if im not a psychopath a sociopath is basically an environmentally induced psychopath who has the brain connections for emotional states miswired but not absent. but some "sociopaths" claim the arent capable of shame, love, rage, sadness, etc. I am but i dont believ i have empathy or guilt, and at the same time I bave ocd so i spent endless amounts of time pondering if some ideas and gut feelings that pop through my mind are actually empathy/guilt or just trying to OCD torture myself into thinking i experience empathy/guilt when i dont because i think those emotions are fucking gay and OCD attempts to trarget one's insecurities. it sounds retarded but its actually very stressful because this all involves an indentity crisis and a total dissolution of my ego and i have no one irl to talk to about it without be judged/wartded
2017-12-28 at 12:51 PM UTC
tfw ocd about retarded shit killing me
2017-12-28 at 12:52 PM UTC
do you ever think about what existence is
like what this "reality" is, OP?
if you become too much of a narcissist, you'll start to think you're god and this entire world is made up in your mind
like, you don't have any proof that negates solipsism, do you?
2017-12-28 at 12:55 PM UTC
yes ive considered that
i consider myself as a god and i detest the idea of attachment to other people, but at the same time i know i have some capability for it. i am not incapable of love or bonding. only being at like the crossroads between neurotypical and psychopathic in amgydala structure kind of implies all of my thoughts and feelings are contradictory with each other between self-preservation and "ethics"
2017-12-28 at 12:55 PM UTC
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2017-12-28 at 1:01 PM UTC
but seriously i have constant urges to either have an insane destructive drug binge or kill a random person. its like a manic energy/rage building up inside me and my only outlet is either gore porn or drug abuse because i sure as fuck never want to go to jail. my whole mind is an identity crisis and i dont remember ever having a real identity, at the same time i have these intense urges to destroy things or harm others and i have no reasonable explanation for the personality deficits that i have or what "diagnosis" would be accurate
2017-12-28 at 1:03 PM UTC
jail is quite a trip, can be a pretty full-on hardcore experience at times.
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