Challenge: Crucify Yourself

1. 2017-09-12 at 2:27 AM UTC

   #1
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle
   You have to formally crucify yourself on a ten foot high cross. No one can assist you. How do?
2. 2017-09-12 at 2:28 AM UTC

   #2
   

   mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
   How am I to jab myself in the side if my hands are nailed?
   
   Gotcha Bitch
3. 2017-09-12 at 2:30 AM UTC

   #3
   

   RisiR † 29 Autism
   Easy, be the real Jesus. He's a wizard.
4. 2017-09-12 at 2:40 AM UTC

   #4
   

   mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
   Control the power of the air to manipulate a javelin?
   
   This will not work.
5. 2017-09-12 at 2:41 AM UTC

   #5
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle
   Taht is whyy chlaleng
6. 2017-09-12 at 2:42 AM UTC

   #6
   

   mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
   Chalalalalenga
7. 2017-09-12 at 2:43 AM UTC

   #7
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle
   Chalalalabumba
8. 2017-09-12 at 2:44 AM UTC

   #8
   

   mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
   Huuuuuuuhnaaaa leeeeeeeeaaaaaauh haaaaeewwu
9. 2017-09-12 at 2:47 AM UTC

   #9
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle
   Ma-Ya-Hi
   Ma-Ya-Hu
   Ma-Ya-Ho
   Ma-Ya-Ha Ha
   Ma-Ya-Hi
   Ma-Ya-Hu
   Ma-Ya-Ho
   Ma-Ya-Ha Ha
10. 2017-09-12 at 2:47 AM UTC

    #10
    

    LegalizeSpiritualDiscovery Space Nigga [my yellow-marked arboreous hypnotist]
    You be Jesus, and I'll be Longinus. Let me penetrate you.
11. 2017-09-12 at 2:48 AM UTC

    #11
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Finally, the time has come for my prehensile 4 ft long penis to shine
12. 2017-09-12 at 2:59 AM UTC

    #12
    

    mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
    God
    
    So hot
13. 2017-09-12 at 3:38 AM UTC

    #13
    RestStop Space Nigga
    I once did so much crystal that I felt my fingers and toes especially were going to break off but that was probably due to dehydration and poor circulation. Behold your lord and savior, RestStop. I did crystal meth and fucked a hooker for YOUR sins. YOURS.
14. 2017-09-12 at 3:43 AM UTC

    #14
    

    mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]
    for my sins
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • RestStop
15. 2017-09-12 at 7:29 AM UTC

    #15
    

    Sophie Pedophile Tech Support
    BRB while i go piss off the Pharisees.
16. 2017-09-12 at 7:31 AM UTC

    #16
    

    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
    lay the nails out on the floor in front of you
    
    mount the cross on your back
    
    fall forward
    
    halleleujah
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • RisiR †, 
    • mmQ, 
    • Number13, 
    • The Self Taught Man
17. 2017-09-12 at 3:07 PM UTC

    #17
    

    mashlehash victim of incest [my perspicuously dependant flavourlessness]

    Originally posted by aldra lay the nails out on the floor in front of you
    
    mount the cross on your back
    
    fall forward
    
    halleleujah

    
    But you still need to jab yourself in the side with a spear.
    
    
    Aha! Nigger.
18. 2017-09-12 at 3:30 PM UTC

    #18
    

    aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition

    Originally posted by mashlehash But you still need to jab yourself in the side with a spear.
    
    
    Aha! Nigger.

    
    he said crucify, not get the full jesus special - you don't need a crown of barbwire either
19. 2017-09-12 at 3:42 PM UTC

    #19
    

    mmQ Lisa Turtle

    Originally posted by aldra lay the nails out on the floor in front of you
    
    mount the cross on your back
    
    fall forward
    
    halleleujah

    
    This is crafty. How long of nails would you use? Do you think your weight has eneough force to pierce the nails through you and the cross?
    
    I guess you could use a styrofoam cross and predrive the nails into yourself, fall backwards onto it, and then reach up to the rope contraption you have set up, climbing the rope and erecting yourself upright into the air, and then I guess.. crumbling to the ground once you let go of the rope because styrofoam. Hmmm
20. 2017-09-12 at 3:45 PM UTC

    #20
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Clone yourself and crucify your clone
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • AngryOnion