2017-07-20 at 2:59 AM UTC
Helladamnleet
African Astronaut
[impartially tyrannize that lentinus]
Well to preface the story, it's 4 pm and I am currently sober.
Me and my friend went down to the Mayan Empire to steal some gold and after about an hour we took a break on rocky area by a pyramid. There were a few free Mayans nearby who were just hanging out, a couple of them were being loud as fuck though. When we were done with the break we walked back up onto the waist high pyramid with all these slippery ass rocks and started to put our Indian Jones gear on. My friend got his on really quick and climbed up a little but then a bird came and knocked me over so it was taking me a minute. Finally I was about to put the last one on and from the side I hear barking and this big ass free Mayan coming straight for me. I threw on the last flipper in like a split second and booked it out of there onto the pyramid and this hot savage woman was on the pyramid and was like "holy shit that thing was chasing you" and I was like yea I know. Anyways I don't really want to go gold digging again, it kind of sucks getting all salty and scraping up my legs and shit when I could just go to a fucking pawn shop and see grills.
inb4 "it's too bad you didn't get killed" or some variation
inb4 "i hate women" or some variation
