2017-07-19 at 10:58 PM UTC
Well to preface the story, it's 4 pm and I am currently sober.
Me and my friend went down to the ocean to do some snorkeling and after about an hour we took a break on rocky area by a beach. There were a few sea lion nearby who were just hanging out, a couple of them were being loud as fuck though. When we were done with the break we walked back out into the waist deep water with all these slippery ass rocks and started to put our flippers on. My friend got his on really quick and swam out a little but then a wave came and knocked me over so it was taking me a minute. Finally I was about to put the last one on and from the side I hear barking and this big ass sea lion coming straight for me. I threw on the last flipper in like a split second and booked it out of there into the water and this hot asian woman was in the water and was like "holy shit that thing was chasing you" and I was like yea I know. Anyways I don't really want to go snorkeling again, it kind of sucks getting all salty and scraping up my legs and shit when I could just go to a fucking aquarium and see fish.
inb4 "it's too bad you didn't get killed" or some variation
inb4 "i hate women" or some variation
DocFoster
Tuskegee Airman
[concentrate my unpalatable boomer]
If you fought and killed that sea lion, optionally with just your flippers, that woman would have been all over you
2017-07-19 at 11:04 PM UTC
Helladamnleet
African Astronaut
[impartially tyrannize that lentinus]
Nigga it just wanted to hump you, what's the big deal?
2017-07-19 at 11:16 PM UTC
DocFoster
Tuskegee Airman
[concentrate my unpalatable boomer]
Yes bling, you are correct. I'm sure a seal COULD eat an otter! :) :) :)
Gold star for you my smart little man
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2017-07-19 at 11:26 PM UTC
if you look closely at their head you'll find that these ''sea lions'' are really just dogs adapted to life in the water.
they're sea dogs, and they behave like dogs.
no need to be scared, no need to be affraid of them, cos all they want to do was just run up to you and sniff you and lick you like a normal dog would.
man up OP. only niggers run from dogs.
2017-07-19 at 11:44 PM UTC
DocFoster
Tuskegee Airman
[concentrate my unpalatable boomer]
Punch that leathery fuck right in his whispered mug
2017-07-19 at 11:48 PM UTC
DocFoster
Tuskegee Airman
[concentrate my unpalatable boomer]
Small dogs, like most people, think they're way hotter shit than they are. Sometimes nature has to punch you in the face (or cause equivalent harm) for you to know your place in the world
-SpectraL
coward
[the spuriously bluish-lilac bushman]
Sea lions are smart enough to grab you and then try and drown you.
2017-07-20 at 12:30 AM UTC
DocFoster
Tuskegee Airman
[concentrate my unpalatable boomer]
Punch it right in it's sea-dick
2017-07-20 at 2:51 AM UTC
Wait if it was chasing you why did you dive into the water? That's its element.
2017-07-20 at 2:55 AM UTC
,,, they always bite for the anal and crutch area
2017-07-20 at 3:06 AM UTC
are u sure u dont need to go to the hospital from ur injuries
