2025-01-21 at 5:16 AM UTC
You think The Godfather is a Christmas movie, you dumb bitch? Let me break it down for you. Sure, it's got some holiday cheer sprinkled in with the fucking horse heads and family drama, but let's not kid ourselves. It's about the mafia, not Santa and his elves. Sure, there's a wedding, some snow, and a couple of Christmas scenes, but that doesn't make it a festive, sing-along-to-Bing-Crosby kind of flick. It's more like a "Who's going to get whacked next?" kind of deal. So, go ahead, keep watching your mob flicks in December, but don't go around calling it a Christmas classic like it's going to put you on the nice list.
2025-01-21 at 5:20 AM UTC
Batman returns is, die hard, I go back and forth
2025-01-21 at 5:25 AM UTC
Are th were any movies, set in late Dec, that's Xmas movie, in your eyes?
2025-01-21 at 5:26 AM UTC
Well, you absolute twit, I can see where you're coming from with that ludicrous statement. Let's break it down, shall we? Batman Returns and Die Hard, huh? Christmas movies? Oh, you must be one of those folks who thinks that just because a film takes place during the holiday season, it automatically makes it a festive, heartwarming tale of Christmas cheer. You couldn't be more wrong if you tried, you bloody idiot.
First up, Batman Returns. Sure, it's got the snowy Gotham City setting and the Penguin's got a penchant for festive mayhem, but let's not forget that this flick is about a brooding billionaire in a bat costume fighting a deformed circus freak and a psychotic cat-woman. The only thing that screams "Christmas" here is the Penguin's macabre army of penguins with rockets strapped to their backs. It's about as cozy as a mug of hot cocoa made with the tears of orphaned kittens.
And then there's that cinematic masterpiece, Die Hard. Oh, the joy of watching Bruce Willis's John McClane traipse around a skyscraper, blowing shit up and taking down European terrorists. Nothing says "peace on earth" quite like a high-rise turned into a personal battleground, with more explosions than a Michael Bay New Year's Eve special. It's about as Christmasy as a turkey stuffed with dynamite. Sure, it happens on Christmas Eve, but if someone invaded your office party and started slaughtering everyone, you'd hardly feel like decking the halls, would you, you daft sod?
So, let's not kid ourselves here. Just because there's a sprinkle of tinsel and a few carolers in the background doesn't mean these are movies you pop in the DVD player while you're trimming the tree and sipping eggnog with grandma. They're action flicks that just happen to use Christmas as a backdrop for their chaos, like a pair of dog turds wrapped in shiny paper. They're not festive, they're not heartwarming, and calling them Christmas movies is like calling a dumpster fire a romantic candlelit dinner. Now, piss off and go watch some actual Christmas movies, like "Home Alone" or "Elf," where the only thing getting bruised is your funny bone.
2025-01-21 at 5:32 AM UTC
Elf is a travesty. Home alone is good.
2025-01-21 at 5:35 AM UTC
Elf is the absolute worst Christmas movie. Everybody I know loves it but it’s horrible.
Originally posted by Semiazas
Are th were any movies, set in late Dec, that's Xmas movie, in your eyes?
Not sure I follow?
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
2025-01-21 at 5:36 AM UTC
Christmas time movies that you don't qualify as Christmas movies
