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  1. Speedy Parker Black Hole
    Originally posted by WellHung Like any government is any better. People are scumbags. Yourself included speedy.šŸ‘āš˜ļø

    I'm a scum bag. You're just a bag of scum.
  2. Landy Pamm African Astronaut
    don't make me turn this car around.
  3. Speedy Parker Black Hole
    Originally posted by Landy Pamm don't make me turn this car around.

    Go pee on yourself again.
  4. Charles Ex Machina Naturally Camouflaged
    Originally posted by Speedy Parker I'm a scum bag.

    we know
  5. Rough Rider African Astronaut
    Originally posted by Landy Pamm I used to be fit. I will be getting fit soon. just after this last beer

    You've been getting in shape for the last four years.

    Just give it up. You're not going to do the stair climber. I watched you livestream your walk.

    You walked for 15 minutes, got pizza and ubered home
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!
  6. the man who put it in my hood Black Hole [miraculously counterclaim my golf]
  7. WellHung Black Hole
    The best part of waking up is going back to bed.
  8. WellHung Black Hole
    What a nice bond Polecat & Scronaldo are forming now that they are the only two remaining members of NiggasInSpace.
  9. WellHung Black Hole
    With how cold it's going to be the next few days, I'm going to need to make the fire unpleasantly hot while I'm awake, to help ensure there is enough heat remaining to be comfortable when I'm sleeping.
  10. POLECAT POLECAT is a motherfucking ferret [my presentably immunised ammonification]
    I heard they were going to start letting women post in here soon
  11. WellHung Black Hole
    Yea, & maybe
    Boss babe will come back, also.
  12. POLECAT POLECAT is a motherfucking ferret [my presentably immunised ammonification]
    Originally posted by WellHung Yea, & maybe
    Boss babe will come back, also.

    she has to be like 58 now, that puddin done went sour bro
  13. Landy Pamm African Astronaut
    Originally posted by Rough Rider You've been getting in shape for the last four years.

    Just give it up. You're not going to do the stair climber. I watched you livestream your walk.

    You walked for 15 minutes, got pizza and ubered home

    Yeah but it was a super tasty pizza. also I drank a beer with it and a 5 and 5 THC/CBD drink. but I did it NY Style by standing and folding it and singing Staying Alive in my head. Fuck you haters, Bee Gee's is a kick ass group
  14. the man who put it in my hood Black Hole [miraculously counterclaim my golf]
    Originally posted by WellHung What a nice bond Polecat & Scronaldo are forming now that they are the only two remaining members of NiggasInSpace.

    My alts count as members
  15. the man who put it in my hood Black Hole [miraculously counterclaim my golf]
    Originally posted by WellHung Yea, & maybe
    Boss babe will come back, also.

    I was Boss_Babe using pictures from Myspace to catfish you.

    Originally posted by the man who put it in my hood Bene Virilis: Salvē, dulcissima! What do you look like?

    Dulcissima: I am wearing a red silk stola, a fine tunica, and my best leather calcei. I walk daily through the forum and practice throwing discusā€”toned and perfect. My measurements are triginta-sex, viginti-quattuor, triginta-sex. And you, Bene Virilis?

    Bene Virilis: I stand six Roman feet and three unciae tall, weigh about 250 librārum. I wear oculāriō (glasses), and right now Iā€™m in my sublÄ«gāculum (undergarments) and a tunicā novā I purchased from the market in the Subura. There's a bit of garum (fish sauce) on my tunic from dinner, and it smells… well, distinctly Roman.

    Dulcissima: Oh, I long for you! Shall we engage in sweet Venusā€™ games?

    Bene Virilis: Bene, let's proceed.

    Dulcissima: We are now in my cubiculum. Soft music plays from the tibiā (flute), and the glow of oil lamps fills the room. I gaze into your eyes, smiling. My hand descends toward your toga laticlavia and fondles your large, swelling… fibula (the clasp on your toga).

    Bene Virilis: (gulp) I begin to sweat like a soldier in Gaul.

    Dulcissima: I pull up your tunic, kissing your chest, where your heart beats as fast as a gladiator in the Colosseum.

    Bene Virilis: I unfasten your stola. My hands tremble like a senator about to deliver bad news to the emperor.

    Dulcissima: I moan softly, like a Vestal caught sneaking out after curfew.

    Bene Virilis: I take hold of your stola and slowly slide it off, as if unrolling a precious scroll from the library of Alexandria.

    Dulcissima: Ohhh! I throw my head back, the cool silk sliding off my warm skin, like a toga on a hot Roman afternoon. I rub your fibula faster.

    Bene Virilis: My hands suddenly jerk like a nervous scriba (scribe) in front of the magistrate and accidentally tear a hole in your stola. Iā€™m sorry!

    Dulcissima: Nil refert (itā€™s fine), it wasnā€™t as expensive as a consulā€™s toga.

    Bene Virilis: Iā€™ll repay you with denarii.

    Dulcissima: Donā€™t worry about it, my love. Now, Iā€™m in my fasciae pectoralis (lacy chest band). My soft breasts rise and fall like the tides of Neptune.

    Bene Virilis: Iā€™m fumbling with the clasp. Itā€™s stuck! Do you have any gladius (sword) nearby?

    Dulcissima: Haha! No need, love. I reach back and undo the clasp with the ease of a skilled auriga (charioteer). My chest band falls away, leaving me bare, like the columns of the Forum.

    Bene Virilis: How did you do that? I inspect the clasp like a philosopher studying a paradox.

    Dulcissima: I arch my back, moaning, ā€œOh, Bene Virilis, I want to feel your lingua (tongue) all over me!ā€

    Bene Virilis: I drop the chest band and lick your…um… you know… mammae (breasts). Theyā€™re… uh… neat!

    Dulcissima: Ah! I run my fingers through your hair, nibbling your ear like itā€™s a freshly baked panis.

    Bene Virilis: Achoo! Oh no, your breasts are now covered with my spit and phlegm!

    Dulcissima: What in the name of Jupiter?!

    Bene Virilis: Forgive me! Truly!

    Dulcissima: I wipe off your phlegm with what remains of my stola.

    Bene Virilis: I take the dampened fabric and drop it with a wet plop.

    Dulcissima: Vale! I pull up my tunic and rub your… gladius… no, not a swordā€”your scrotum.

    Bene Virilis: I scream like a Vestal caught in a scandal! Your hands are cold like the waters of the Tiber in winter!

    Dulcissima: I raise my tunic higher. Take off my subligaculum!

    Bene Virilis: I pull off your subligaculum. My tongue travels where no Roman legion has gone before. Waitā€”hold on a moment.

    Dulcissima: Whatā€™s the matter?

    Bene Virilis: Iā€™ve got one of your pili pubici (pubic hairs) caught in my throat! Iā€™m choking!

    Dulcissima: By the gods, are you well?

    Bene Virilis: Coff! coff! Iā€™m choking like a bad orator in the Senate! I run to the kitchen! Where are your cōpÄ«ae (cups)?

    Dulcissima: To the right of the basin!

    Bene Virilis: Ah! I gulp water from the cup like a Roman soldier after a long march. Much better!

    Dulcissima: Come back, lover.

    Bene Virilis: First, I must wash this cup! Iā€™m a Roman citizen after all!

    Dulcissima: VenÄ«! VenÄ«! Iā€™m on the bed, arching for you like a triumphal arch!

    Bene Virilis: I dry the cup, put it back in its place, and now… wait, itā€™s dark. I canā€™t find your cubiculum. Where is it?

    Dulcissima: Last ianua (door) on the left!

    Bene Virilis: Ah, there we go!

    Dulcissima: I tug off your tunica, moaning. I canā€™t stand it another second!

    Bene Virilis: Me neither, cara mea (my dear).

    Dulcissima: I kiss you passionately. Our naked bodies press together like the stones of the Colosseum.

    Bene Virilis: Your face is pushing my oculāriō (glasses) into my face! It hurts!

    Dulcissima: Take them off!

    Bene Virilis: I canā€™t see well without them, but alright. Now theyā€™re on the tabula nocturna (nightstand).

    Dulcissima: I bend over. Intra me nunc! (Enter me now!)

    Bene Virilis: Waitā€”I need to relieve myself. One moment!

    Dulcissima: Festina (Hurry)!

    Bene Virilis: I find the latrina in the dark, fumble around, and… oh no, Iā€™ve realized Iā€™ve relieved myself in your cista vestimentaria (laundry basket).

    Dulcissima: What now, Bene Virilis?

    Bene Virilis: Iā€™m deeply sorry. Iā€™ll be right back.

    Dulcissima: Venī cito (Come quickly)!

    Bene Virilis: Now Iā€™m here, ready to put my gladius… into your… uh, you know… tēlum muliebre (womanly sheath).

    Dulcissima: Yes! Do it!

    Bene Virilis: Umm… I'm having some trouble.

    Dulcissima: What kind of trouble?!

    Bene Virilis: Iā€™m… flaccidus (flaccid).

    Dulcissima: What?!

    Bene Virilis: Iā€™m limp as a Roman fresco! I cannot maintain… an erectio!

    Dulcissima: By Junoā€™s tits!

    Bene Virilis: Iā€™m getting my oculāriō to see if something is wrong.

    Dulcissima: Forget it! Iā€™m getting dressed.

    Bene Virilis: Wait! Iā€™m squinting, knocking over lamps, jars of olive oil, and your candlesā€”oh no! The candle has fallen! The curtain is on fire!

    Dulcissima: AbÄ« in malam crucem! (Go to hell!) Iā€™m logging off this forum, loser!

    Bene Virilis: Oh no, the whole cubicula is ablaze! Ignis! Ignis! (Fire! Fire!)

    Dulcissima: Valē! (Goodbye forever!)
  16. Originally posted by Landy Pamm Yeah but it was a super tasty pizza. also I drank a beer with it and a 5 and 5 THC/CBD drink. but I did it NY Style by standing and folding it and singing Staying Alive in my head. Fuck you haters, Bee Gee's is a kick ass group

    Imagine all that grease that must be lining all your arteries and veins. A thick buildup of pizza grease, and God knows what other greases.
  17. Landy Pamm African Astronaut
    Originally posted by ā €ā €ā €ā €ā €ā € Imagine all that grease that must be lining all your arteries and veins. A thick buildup of pizza grease, and God knows what other greases.

    I always dab the oil as much as possible. like 3-4 napkins soaked in it.
    I only ate half of it and sat the other half in the box on a trashcan lid outside because lots of homeless walk around. I signed it "Free slice" and when I say half I didn't eat from it, I cut it down the middle and left the other half for a homeless

    I dont eat Pizza often. once in a while is healthy
  18. Originally posted by Landy Pamm I always dab the oil as much as possible. like 3-4 napkins soaked in it.
    I only ate half of it and sat the other half in the box on a trashcan lid outside because lots of homeless walk around. I signed it "Free slice" and when I say half I didn't eat from it, I cut it down the middle and left the other half for a homeless

    I dont eat Pizza often. once in a while is healthy

    Yeah, but all you eat is fast food, right?
  19. Rough Rider African Astronaut
    Originally posted by Landy Pamm I always dab the oil as much as possible. like 3-4 napkins soaked in it.
    I only ate half of it and sat the other half in the box on a trashcan lid outside because lots of homeless walk around. I signed it "Free slice" and when I say half I didn't eat from it, I cut it down the middle and left the other half for a homeless

    I dont eat Pizza often. once in a while is healthy

    This never happened
  20. Rough Rider African Astronaut
    Originally posted by the man who put it in my hood My alts count as members

    Half this community is 2 homosexuals posting with dozens of alts
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