igbo
Houston
[cringe your preliminary chenopodium]
and his name was Sean. Sean said that he was in rehab for weed. i thought this was strange but it would not have been the first time i saw a 20 something year old kid get sent to rehab by his parents because he was smoking the devils lettuce. Sean confided in me that he smoked weed to help self medicate symptoms of a serious psychiatric disorder that i 100% already noticed within the first 5 minutes of me meeting him. it was funny that he tried to pull me aside and share this information with me like it was a big secret. so when he tells me that he has tourettes i try my best to act surprised.
"yeah man i do, that's why i say the word nigger all the time during group."
***DISCLAIMER*** the events contained in this post are a direct reflection of igbo's personal memories from doing residential treatment at [REDACTED] in 2013 in [REDACTED], United States of America. i, igbo, seriously wish this shit was untrue and made up because it was so fucked up and hilarious and also extremely depressing. Sean is still alive and i see him post on facebook all the time. we are facebook friends. ***END DISCLAIMER***
at this rehab they had a group called "accountability" where the entire group of dudes would sit in a circle and basically just tear each others assholes apart with "loving truths". does not have to be true, in fact it was encouraged to make up stuff about other clients. this would "help" them to "get out of their comfort zone" and "learn how to deal with unfairness and difficulties in life".
so everyone hated accountability group. it was the first group of the day and it was extremely embarrassing and the worst part was YOU WERE NOT ALLOWED TO DEFEND YOURSELF OR EVEN RESPOND TO THE SHIT THEY SAID TO YOU. YOU HAD TO SAY THANK YOU.
"igbo, i noticed yesterday that you drank the last cup of coffee in the pot and you did not bother starting a new one. [NOT EVEN TRUE, DID NOT HAPPEN]. i'm pissed off that you seem to care so little about your recovery and about your brothers well being that you just take the coffee for yourself like you do every day. you will never stay sober and you are nothing and your family should just drop you off at a homeless shelter"
"THAT DID NOT FUCKING HAPPEN YOU PIECE OF SHI......THANK YOU....."
so this group made everyone nervous, especially sean. because when sean got nervous his condition would rear it's ugly head. during the entire group (1 hour long) sean would quietly repeat these three words over and over again with no pause
loud enough for everyone to hear but not loud enough to interrupt the accountability butt fucking going on. the black people in the group did not like sean very much. unfortunately, this quiet repetition was not the only form his tourettes would manifest itself...
WHEN SEAN WAS IN THE SHOWER, HE WOULD SING IT AT THE TOP OF HIS LUNGS LIKE AN OPERA SINGER. LIKE THIS BITCH V
he would be scrub dub a dubbing and you would hear from outside the house "NIIIGEEEEER, WHOOOOREEE........BAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAALSSS!" over and over again. it was so good.
at the rehab they had something called family week where your family comes and the drug addict apologizes a bunch and everyone is supposed to heal together and also set boundaries for the future going forward. at no point do the therapists and group facilitators at the rehab tell you to do what sean's family did.
sean's mom and stepdad came to family week. at family week the first day or two is your family doing their own group with the counselors so they know what to say and what not to say so they don't fuck up their loved one any more than they already are. unfortunately sean's parents missed that last instruction.
sean told me early on about his dad passing away when he was 5 or 6 years old. he choked to death on a burger at his workplace. well, there was more information that sean's mom thought was relevant and that he needed to know to help him recover so he would stop smoking weed so much.
the 3rd day of family week sean's mom tells him in front of 30 people (clients, family members, and counselors) she freestyled this btw, they give you a format of how you are supposed to say this and that and at what time. it's impossible to fuck up. anyways she goes off the rails and says the following
"sean, remember how we told you that your daddy died from choking on a burger? well, that was a lie. i now know that lying and dishonesty will just keep you sick. so i need to get honest. he did not die from a burger sean. HE DIED FROM AUTOEROTIC ASPHYXIATION"
yep. you heard that right. they found sean's dad when he did not come home after work several hours later at his workplace in the bathroom with a fucking belt around his neck and his dick in his hand jerking off in the stall at work. dead. no burgers anywhere in sight.
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