Novel ideas

1. 2017-06-14 at 9:26 PM UTC

   #1
   

   Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
   Post your one-line ideas for a book, short story, screenplay, whatever. I'll start:
   
   A smooth and loveable drug dealer hands his business card out to the wrong cat and gets more than he bargained for.
2. 2017-06-14 at 11:42 PM UTC

   #2
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   Rob Schneider is... Rob Schneider; a solemn tale of the jester who could never make anyone laugh
3. 2017-06-15 at 2:43 AM UTC

   #3
   

   Eval/Apply Recursed
   John Steinbeck's The Pearl only set in Scotland instead of Mexico and the twist is it's actually the non-fiction Boards of Canada origin story.
4. 2017-06-15 at 2:45 AM UTC

   #4
   RestStop Space Nigga
   Two cousins, one penis. Will he give it his all or tap out?
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • NARCassist, 
   • The Self Taught Man, 
   • aldra
5. 2017-06-15 at 2:49 AM UTC

   #5
   

   aldra JIDF Controlled Opposition
   a mysterious bathtub that only makes you dirty, not clean
6. 2017-06-15 at 2:51 AM UTC

   #6
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle
   An evil scientist decides to create the world's longest human centi-- er, wait. Nvm
7. 2017-06-15 at 2:53 AM UTC

   #7
   

   Zanick motherfucker [my p.a. supernal goa]
   A violent and psychotic gangster takes his drug-addicted psychiatrist out for a night he'll never forget
8. 2017-06-15 at 3:18 AM UTC

   #8
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole

   Originally posted by aldra a mysterious bathtub that only makes you dirty, not clean

   
   That's every bathtub.The only thing a bathtub accomplishes is letting you stew in your own filth soup. Baths are for relaxation, not cleanliness.
9. 2017-06-15 at 6:08 PM UTC

   #9
   The Self Taught Man Black Hole
   A boy makes a deal with Death; play a game for the right to his brother's life. The only game death knows? Calvinball.
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • RisiR †
10. 2017-06-15 at 6:10 PM UTC

    #10
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Tyshawn and Jamonte find themselves sold into slavery to the UFC! The only way to freedom? Kill their masters in a fatal cage match.
    
    Jordan Peele presenters: Chimp-ouT!
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • RisiR †
11. 2017-06-15 at 6:12 PM UTC

    #11
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    Eddie Murphy plays Stockton Baxter, a Vietnamese man whose only dream is to play in the NBA and be a champion.
    
    Eddie Murphy is... Playing to Nguyen
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • RisiR †, 
    • Nil
12. 2017-06-15 at 6:15 PM UTC

    #12
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    In this hilarious comedy, Jackie Chan plays martial arts legend Mantis Flipton, who confronts a witch and gets transformed into a bird! Now he must regain his human form and defeat the enchantress!
    
    Ang Lee presents, Steven Seagull
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • RisiR †
13. 2017-06-15 at 6:19 PM UTC

    #13
    

    RisiR † 29 Autism
    Go fuck yourself, bruh. Hahahaha.
14. 2017-06-15 at 10:47 PM UTC

    #14
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    
    
    The military in hawaii defects and takes over the islands.
15. 2017-06-15 at 10:52 PM UTC

    #15
    

    NARCassist gollums fat coach
    Ariane Grande: The explosive true story of her last tour.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • aldra, 
    • The Self Taught Man
16. 2017-06-15 at 11:06 PM UTC

    #16
    

    Dionysus Houston
    A novel about a bunch of douchebags and their intense, histrionic interactions on am obscure 3rd generation internet forum.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • aldra, 
    • Zanick, 
    • RisiR †
17. 2017-06-15 at 11:07 PM UTC

    #17
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    It's the 1960s and Raul just wants to be known as the greatest to ever dance, but the world keeps telling him that Mexicans can never be a disco sensation.
    
    Hispanic at the Disco: Electric Cholo
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • RisiR †, 
    • aldra
18. 2017-06-16 at 12:10 AM UTC

    #18
    The Self Taught Man Black Hole
    
    
    (movie, not a book...fuck you )
    
    *Movie announcer voice*
    They went out to go hunting. [scary music]
    
    [short clips of guys in the woods]
    But they were the ones being hunted...
    
    [scary music and clips again]
    
    SKINWALKERS
    
    2017
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • mmQ
19. 2017-06-16 at 12:16 AM UTC

    #19
    

    mmQ Lisa Turtle

    Originally posted by Needledick_Needledick_Needledick
    
    (movie, not a book…fuck you )
    
    *Movie announcer voice*
    They went out to go hunting. [scary music]
    
    [short clips of guys in the woods]
    But they were the ones being hunted…
    
    [scary music and clips again]
    
    SKINWALKERS
    
    2017

    
    I liek this. Envisioning the skinwalkers as literally skinning their prey alive and wearing it, as they continue to hunt, perhaps competing with one another at the end of a 'session' as to who is adorning the most layers of 'new-skin.' Some of them have killed so many that they have no choice but to hunt much larger victims whose skin can fit around the dozens of layers already upon them, or ultimately having to stretch the latest layer of skin into a hideous and grotesque condition in order to fit it upon themselves.
20. 2017-06-16 at 12:43 AM UTC

    #20
    Ajax African Astronaut [rumor the placative aphakia]
    Without realizing she was holding the map upside down, she told me to take the next right.