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A contest: What am I afraid of most?
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2016-03-12 at 3:36 AM UTCI want to see who has the best understanding of me, has understood at least one major myself. What is my greatest fear? It's a serious question, I'm not expecting joke answers. The answer isn't necessarily complex.
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2016-03-12 at 3:41 AM UTCgoing outside.
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2016-03-12 at 3:47 AM UTCIntimacy.
It is hard to tell, though. Fear is often associated with panicking and the loss of rational thinking and logic. You are so detached from yourself, your emotions that it seems like that doesn't occur often. Well, except the hermit stuff and... haha, when you freak out over your neighbors. That's irrational. I guess your detachement from you yourself could be the result of being terrified by intimacy as well. You can't even allow yourself to be close to yourself because that would be letting your guard down. Weakness. Right?
Super-projector-mode off/ -
2016-03-12 at 3:52 AM UTCNot achieving immortality and godliness
Snails, snakes, and spiders -
2016-03-12 at 4:06 AM UTCPlanes, Trains, and Automobiles
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2016-03-12 at 9:26 AM UTClol sploo stop stealing my memes blingblongs, googergeigers and people that cant count time signatures
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2016-03-12 at 3:26 PM UTC
Intimacy.
It is hard to tell, though. Fear is often associated with panicking and the loss of rational thinking and logic. You are so detached from yourself, your emotions that it seems like that doesn't occur often. Well, except the hermit stuff and… haha, when you freak out over your neighbors. That's irrational. I guess your detachement from you yourself could be the result of being terrified by intimacy as well. You can't even allow yourself to be close to yourself because that would be letting your guard down. Weakness. Right?
Super-projector-mode off/
sorry but that was the most beta/emo thing I've read ever read from you. -
2016-03-12 at 4:35 PM UTCFailure. With success in a close second.
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2016-03-13 at 10:13 PM UTCCommitment and crystal meth.
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2016-03-15 at 4:55 AM UTCI don't know and what a person thinks/says their greatest fear has no necessary relationship to the reality of the situation. If I had to guess it'd be that your perceptions don't accurately reflect an external reality, that your "extreme systematizing" hasn't brought you a clearer picture of the world and that the behavior that's made you miserable has actually made it harder for make unbiased judgements. Of course that's probably wrong, the way you reflexively dismiss other opinions suggests otherwise, the level of confidence in the statements you throw out there, but that's what scares me most when I read some of your posts thinking I might be in the same boat.
The answer you're looking for is probably closer to "that the damage my lifestyle has done is irreversible" or "it will never get better" or something along those lines. -
2016-03-15 at 4:56 AM UTCbeing human
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2016-03-15 at 4:57 AM UTC
I don't know and what a person thinks/says their greatest fear has no necessary relationship to the reality of the situation.
That's not what he's even asking fuckboy -
2016-03-15 at 5:11 AM UTCThe other day my girlfriend was mad at me for drinking for the fifth day in a row when I had a cold (with another girl but she did have all this information) so to try to get under my skin she said "you worry about shit other people don't worry about" which is about my irrational fear of myself or someone I care about being murdered or abducted by leo. I was mad that she was mad at the time but now that seems like a pretty baws irrational fear, like the type of thing a Russian soldier drinks vodka to forget about. I might just be the perfect boyfriend/man/human.
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2016-03-15 at 5:58 AM UTC
Intimacy.
It is hard to tell, though. Fear is often associated with panicking and the loss of rational thinking and logic. You are so detached from yourself, your emotions that it seems like that doesn't occur often. Well, except the hermit stuff and… haha, when you freak out over your neighbors. That's irrational. I guess your detachement from you yourself could be the result of being terrified by intimacy as well. You can't even allow yourself to be close to yourself because that would be letting your guard down. Weakness. Right?
Super-projector-mode off/
This. You understand me, brother. Apparently, for various reasons, I've come to fear it more than death. It's the outcome of over a decade on this path.I don't know and what a person thinks/says their greatest fear has no necessary relationship to the reality of the situation. If I had to guess it'd be that your perceptions don't accurately reflect an external reality, that your "extreme systematizing" hasn't brought you a clearer picture of the world and that the behavior that's made you miserable has actually made it harder for make unbiased judgements.
You're right, I did realize how incredibly skewed my worldview had become. I thought I was a strict rationalist, seeing the world unclouded by emotion, societal influences, human relationships etc., but it was just a different manifestation of a massively biased perception. That isn't something I fear, though. It's interesting that this would be your guess.Of course that's probably wrong, the way you reflexively dismiss other opinions suggests otherwise, the level of confidence in the statements you throw out there, but that's what scares me most when I read some of your posts thinking I might be in the same boat.
Good god I hope not. I don't want you to be.The answer you're looking for is probably closer to "that the damage my lifestyle has done is irreversible" or "it will never get better" or something along those lines.
That likely is amongst my highest fears, but it doesn't seem to be greater than the fear I've developed of human connection. -
2016-03-15 at 6:02 AM UTC
This. You understand me, brother. Apparently, for various reasons, I've come to fear it more than death. It's the outcome of over a decade on this path.
You're right, I did realize how incredibly skewed my worldview had become. I thought I was a strict rationalist, seeing the world unclouded by emotion, societal influences, human relationships etc., but it was just a different manifestation of a massively biased perception. That isn't something I fear, though. It's interesting that this would be your guess.
Good god I hope not. I don't want you to be.
That likely is amongst my highest fears, but it doesn't seem to be greater than the fear I've developed of human connection.
I've been asking you for like 3 years to psychoanalyze me.
Great contest btw, what's the prize? -
2016-03-15 at 6:11 AM UTCAnyone can freely psychoanalyze me and if it's relatively illuminating and transcends this shitty medium I'll send them rugz or munz.
I'm going to sleep now when I wake up I'd like to see a nicely articulated post about moi, preferably in thread form -
2016-03-15 at 6:12 AM UTCFor the record "being human" is the end result of intimacy so I won^2/age you eventually lose virginity
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2016-03-15 at 6:18 AM UTCYou're terrified of bisexuals.
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2016-03-15 at 6:24 AM UTC
I've been asking you for like 3 years to psychoanalyze me.
I'm flattered that you value my opinion, but, honestly, I don't know you well enough. I'm also extremely damaged at this point and am continually losing the ability to function. Just reading or creating posts of significant length or quality, even that can leave you, you just become sort of catatonic.
You're at a volatile age and time in your life. Sploo, you've actually met with Roshambo before, seem to be able to relate to him to some extent, have an honest conversation with him about the things that really matter. Stop being in shitposting mode all the time.
It reminds me of your clone of this thread and some of the answers. Maybe you do do it because you're afraid of rejection, that you can't actually meet your expectations (IQ tests), the potential you want to believe you have. And I completely understand that, I was lying to myself, deluding myself, about the state I was in, that one day I would eventually get it together and put plans into action, that I just needed time to prepare myself first. But it was the lack of actual action that stunted any potential development I may have had. A stream of failure would have been so much better than this endless repetition and not even trying. I didn't even make the threads, posts, have the conversations/discussions I wanted because the energy and passion just wasn't there, I convinced myself it was pointless, futile; I was unaware and in denial about what was really occurring.
Then there's the drug issue. Are we both just trying to run away from something, looking for some cure, an answer, that isn't there? Can't stand sobriety because of how empty our lives really are? Are afraid of actually doing what we know needs to be done to change that, to act IRL, and have some inability to accept people and life, life as a human being, for what they are?Great contest btw, what's the prize?
There's no prize other than the satisfaction of knowing you've won, of learning something, gaining an insight, having participated. -
2016-03-15 at 3:11 PM UTC
.
