Some fat drunk mexican at the bar came up to shake my hand and his entire sleeve and hand were covered in piss. His friend kept being like “hes just drunk dude chill out” and i said tell you what stick out yoir arm and let me piss all over you and then i can tell you to be chill. The sober friend finally gave me a couple bottles of water to rinse off my arm and one of the other fat retards kept telling me to relax and i said im very easy to get along with but if you tell me to relax one more time my patience is going to run out. I dont think i was being unreasknable. Plenty of places in this city where if you step on a mans shoes you can expect to get hit. Ofc the fat green shirt ninja turtle looking retard was the one who wanted to chest up with me so bad. And ofc now i feel bad and gaslit bc i wasnt trying to emasculate them or be a douchebro, i just wanted them to FUCK OFF and they refused to.
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i did come up with some bangers in the parking lot tho. We called a bunch of prostitutes from eros and then i put on that terrible jediy nick kroll voice and asked them if theyd consider a barter of $100 and a world class foot massage. Then we called a thai hooker and i asked if she had those delicious erect marshmallow nipples and when she confirmed she in fact did, i exclaimed WELL WELCOME TO THA CANDY SHOP. lebanese homie called obvious jedi hookers and asked if he could drill their buttholes while rocking a hamas headscarf.
And then i came up with the brilliant idea of a show like Shark Tank but for pussy where women try to sell you on why their snatch is worth like $900 an hour. I then proposed a girl who fires a golfball from her twat to trigger an increasingly difficult Rube Goldberg machine, which would have impressed the sharks. And then i imagined our Mr. Wonderful analogue saying “ Yiu have no eyebrows. You smell. For that reason….IM OUT.”
Originally posted by General Butt.Naked
i did come up with some bangers in the parking lot tho. We called a bunch of prostitutes from eros and then i put on that terrible jediy nick kroll voice and asked them if theyd consider a barter of $100 and a world class foot massage. Then we called a thai hooker and i asked if she had those delicious erect marshmallow nipples and when she confirmed she in fact did, i exclaimed WELL WELCOME TO THA CANDY SHOP. lebanese homie called obvious jedi hookers and asked if he could drill their buttholes while rocking a hamas headscarf.
And then i came up with the brilliant idea of a show like Shark Tank but for pussy where women try to sell you on why their snatch is worth like $900 an hour. I then proposed a girl who fires a golfball from her twat to trigger an increasingly difficult Rube Goldberg machine, which would have impressed the sharks. And then i imagined our Mr. Wonderful analogue saying “ Yiu have no eyebrows. You smell. For that reason….IM OUT.”
Originally posted by General Butt.Naked
She doesnt sit on my face all the time bc she says it doesnt feel intimate. lol. Im like damn girl just use me already shit. Intimacy is cool but sometimes i want to just be a gross animal. But yes apparently getting eaten out in a sundress is another thing i was unaware of that is a top tier woman fantasy. When i do what you described she makes me stop and not touch her for like 20 min n when i do she swats my hand like im tryna sneak a cookie from the cookie jar.
