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Ayn Rand's Harry Potter
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2017-06-02 at 8:55 PM UTChttp://the-toast.net/2014/05/27/ayn-rands-harry-potter-sorcerers-stone/
Professor Snape stood at the front of the room, sort of jedily. “There will be no foolish wand-waving or silly incantations in this class. As such, I don’t expect many of you to appreciate the subtle science and exact art that is potion-making. However, for those select few who possess, the predisposition…I can teach you how to bewitch the mind and ensnare the senses. I can tell you how to bottle fame, brew glory, and even put a stopper in death.”
Harry’s hand shot up.
“What is it, Potter?” Snape asked, irritated.
“What’s the value of these potions on the open market?”
“What?”
“Why are you teaching children how to make these valuable products for ourselves at a schoolteacher’s salary instead of creating products to meet modern demand?”
“You impertinent boy–“
“Conversely, what’s to stop me from selling these potions myself after you teach us how to master them?”
“I–“
“This is really more of a question for the Economics of Potion-Making, I guess. What time are econ lessons here?”
“We have no economics lessons in this school, you ridiculous boy.”
Harry Potter stood up bravely. “We do now. Come with me if you want to learn about market forces!”
The students poured into the hallway after him. They had a leader at last.Harry and Ron stood before the Mirror of Erised. “My God,” Ron said. “Harry, it’s your dead parents.”
Harry’s eyes flicked momentarily over to the mirror. “So it is. This information is neither useful nor productive. Let us leave at once, to assist Hagrid in his noble enterprise of raising as many dragon eggs as he sees fit, in spite of our country’s unjust dragon-trading restrictions.”
“But it’s your parents, Harry,” Ron said. Ron never really got it.
Harry sighed. “The fundamental standard for all relationships is the trader principle, Ron.”
“I don’t understand,” Ron said.
“Of course you don’t,” said Harry affectionately. “This principle holds that we should interact with people on the basis of the values we can trade with them – values of all sorts, including common interests in art, sports or music, similar philosophical outlooks, political beliefs, sense of life, and more. Dead people have no value according to the trader principle.”
“But they gave birth to y–“
“I made myself, Ron,” Harry said firmly. -
2017-06-02 at 10:03 PM UTCbooty bump
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2017-06-02 at 10:05 PM UTCAny Ryan is good but I still think playto is the best philososter of are time
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2017-06-02 at 10:06 PM UTCyou guys heard of that philososter niche?
motherfucker am i right -
2017-06-02 at 10:08 PM UTC*philosofy
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2017-06-02 at 10:14 PM UTCTryhard humour, also Harry Potter sucks
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2017-06-02 at 10:15 PM UTCI like this line
Professor Snape stood at the front of the room, sort of jedily.
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2017-06-02 at 10:15 PM UTCAlso, mayweather is trash.
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2017-06-02 at 10:26 PM UTCJk I liked it and also Harry Potter isn't bad
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2017-06-02 at 10:37 PM UTCITT: VICTIMS
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2017-06-02 at 10:55 PM UTC
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2017-06-03 at 12:19 AM UTCWho's John Gault?/
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2017-06-03 at 12:33 AM UTC
"
Suddenly he heard them: Marxists.
“No,” he whispered, sinking to his knees. When they get near you, he remembered Lupin saying, you will be left with only the worst memories of your life.
“Only together, collectively, can we achieve anything of lasting significance,” he heard one of them say. Harry moaned in pain.
" -
2017-06-03 at 1:21 AM UTCThis is reminding me of your Adventures with Asspick thread.
