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Getting life insurance on my loved ones.
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2023-09-21 at 12:58 PM UTCFolks, I don't plan on ending up on a repetitive episode of CrimeWatch Daily for their murders. I don't really understand life insurance but I understand that I don't want to it for me, peoplpe got plenty of reasons to kill me as it is, last thing I need is to monetize the act for someone.
But my mom, my best friend and my roommate are all in their 60s (my best friend is 44 but in tweaker years he's like 88) and i'm thinking it's gotta be like what x-amount of dollars a month (not sure, the old ones don't have health issues aside from high blood pressure) and u get a fatass payment when they die in ten fifteen years. I always thought this was really fucked up, gambling on how fast your loved ones are gonna die. But shit bro, life experiences have taught me grab what you can get that fruit aint gonna hang on that low branch forever. So realistically 1 of these people is alcoholic, 1 is a tweaker who stays up for days running around in circles with a 140 BPM heartrate, & the other one smells like solvant weeks after he quits making dope.
Folks these people are probably not gonna reach the triple digits, I hope they do, but I have common sense. So you look at like the cheap plans like for me to get 500,000 because I am in PERFECT health lol it's like 22$ a month or some shit.
I know it's a lot more if you're old or sick or have aids and shit.I'm thinking in my head, i mean shit i can afford 120$ if I can put a bet on all 3 of them for even something small like 150k each. You know what 150,000$ could do for me? I could go get groceries like twice with that money.
Or realistically buy a very small house and put it in one of the remaining people's names so I have free housing for life as long as I pay property taxes or do a reverse mortgage or w/e. So basically I wanna learn how to get life insurance on my mom, my roommmate, and my shotcaller. All 3 of them will be okay with it. I know like a lot of people do it if they're the bread winner and they got kids and a lazy slut who sits on her ass all day pretending to raise children as a full time mom, and when dude dies she's gotta like live off something till she finds the next nigga to take care of her and her half orphaned children no one wants.
Kinda weird we got a lot of girl pedophiles on this website/community, but there hasn't ever been a boy pedophile. Statistically that's impossible, I suppose we have Paul Wozny/Chios Hansen or Honsey or whatever, but kinda weird we have no boy pedophiles espousing their MANBLA love. Just thought about that.
So anyway, I wanna get like a 150k policy, i probably won't on my mom because it'll make me feel icky to pay a membership to gamble that before I pay for 66% of the claim (Since taxes take a third i'm sure) before they die so I can buy a house, and a small boat, and get cock enlargement surguries. Everytime I go fishing, play with my cock, or open my front door I'll think of my dead mom I got rich off off of and that's really fucked up and I can't do that.
My best friend and my roommate, if they were to die from their natural life expiring at a ripe old age of 52 and I got a house, a boat, a bigger cock, some nice shit, maybe like I can use th e money to get MORE LIFE INSURANCE ON PEOPLE and just make an empire out of befriending old people and telling them I want to make sure they have a beautiful funeral and eternal resting place and then just get them cremated, toss them in water (as is my people's custom since it's the cheapest, we've been doing this for almost one generation) and yeah get me a house, I'd probably get a picture of them and frame it in the living room, so I never forget that like they hooked it up.
How do I approach that subject without it seeming avarice, predatory or like I'm plotting on them?
I figure I tell the other 2 if they don't die first they can come live at my traphome when the third one goes. And if they end up being the third one, I appreciate it and they are welcome to join me in spirit but don't be a scary ghost I don't like that shit.
I probably will get life insurance on my mom too if I do this, mostly because like bro even if it was like 50k I can swing an okay new trailer for that much money.
My mom got a life insurance policy on me when I was 14 and she found a pistol in my bedroom that she had no idea I had while she was putting away laundry lol she never told me until i was like 18 and inherited it or some shit? idk i never really thought about it much after/didn't pay the premiums. I don't want my people to be happy when I die, fuck that, yeah you can use my identity and shit but like don't sit around hoping someone shoots me or I get some fentanyl, that's fuckin rude (and the exact thing i spent ten minutes describing lol) -
2023-09-21 at 1 PM UTCthat's easy just start the conversation with "I'm not planning on killing you BUT"
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2023-09-21 at 1 PM UTCDo you let people get life insurance against you? You really trust them like that?
You got any fatass policies on your people? How much do you pay?
How do I start this up and how much will it cost to get a nice policey at least something I can buy a shack with some land in Louisiana or somewhere cheap or some shit, as long as it's not cold and there's fish there, I don't give a fuck where I live. Not California. -
2023-09-21 at 1:01 PM UTC
Originally posted by aldra that's easy just start the conversation with "I'm not planning on killing you BUT"
I don't joke about violence. Like I've never felt comfortable about people who say shit like "i'mma fuck that nigga up" "I'mma shoot that motherfucker on sight." cuz they're frustrated or angry, that's not something I joke with.
If I tell someone I"m gonna hurt them, I genuinely plan on doing it or I wouldn't say it. And I never like joking about people killing people or people killing me, vice versa, etc, just seems like a bad thought process to get comfortable with.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2023-09-21 at 1:04 PM UTCI dunno, I don't think there's any way to approach that without sounding like a piece of shit because you kind of are a piece of shit
you might not want them to die but you want to benefit from it -
2023-09-21 at 1:19 PM UTCaldra they're gonna die either way, I'm just trying to get a free house by paying 1month to 20 years of 20$ payments (Which only totals 9k in payments over 20 years) I mean shit so if they do live forever @ 20/month for 20 years as long as the policey is 20k (adjusted for inflation based on current trends of the USD) I'll get like 13k and break even ish after taxes.
But if I lock in a good plan like they advertise on TV where "YOUR RATES WILL NEVER CHANGE" (if you pay your premiums every time on time with direct deposit, miss one payment and it's like a credit card company, you're fucked)
lock that shit in with like 2 or 3 old people IC are about and tell them, I wanna fuckin house and youre gonna die at some point in the next twenty five years my niggas and Mom. Don't you want me to have free housing? You aint gotta pay the premium, u can get one on me but u have to pay for it if u want. Also let's review the will. The people close to me have no offspring (except my mom, and it's just me) and i think u should leave everything to who u love the most (my mom), the person most loyal to you (my shot caller) or the nigga who hasn't t had a drink in a week but still buys you whiskey flasks when we go out. I think that nigga should get the money not your fuckin cousin, why ? Why not me ? -
2023-09-21 at 1:28 PM UTCdude i'mma be insured out broski i gotta make one good gamble andt hen i'mma have insurance on everybody, every time my phone ring i'mma run to that motherfucker and say "Who died? I'm ready."
ey if u overdose while shooting up is that an accident or a suicide? Lotta life insurance companies don't pay out for suicide so you gotta like fall off a ladder if you wanna exit life and still want your free loading family who never made you happy to get some extra bread to make themselves feel bettter.
Like money don't buy happiness, but a jet ski on the ocean probably would turn a bad day into a good day. That's just me. Probably go snorkeling and buy one of those spear guns you can shoot people and fish with, i think u can shoot them on land and shit too, so yea jetski + harpoon gun + large bag of weed, and that's like what 5k? Shiiiiiit.
I spent like 200$ on myself a couple days ago when I was depressed and I got everything I realistically wanted from Amazon and a copule things for my roommate and my dog and house. -
2023-09-21 at 1:30 PM UTCright star trek, ur a pretty shrewd businessman and are close to your elderly mother. Surely this idea has crossed your mind for when she passes and you can't live in your childhood bedroom as a grown ass man, if she's not leaving you the house, you might wanna think about getting life insurance.
Aldra i know ur family got stupid money because ur dad japanese and married a white woman, so u probably don't have to worry about things like money or bills but it's rough out here. Especially if you're white trash. -
2023-09-21 at 1:31 PM UTCI'm not saying you shouldn't do it or that it's particularly wrong, just that you're going to come off as a vulture or something so just accept that. best thing is just to be honest I guess and offer them something they want in return for the policy - not necessarily money or tangible things, old people often just want someone to talk to or help them out from time to time
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2023-09-21 at 1:36 PM UTCYou risk getting fucked by the concept of "insurable interest". Which means you may need to be able to demonstrate a loss occurs to you from the death.
That's why wives often have life insurance on their husbands, but seldom vice versa. -
2023-09-21 at 1:39 PM UTC
Originally posted by Donald Trump You risk getting fucked by the concept of "insurable interest". Which means you may need to be able to demonstrate a loss occurs to you from the death.
That's why wives often have life insurance on their husbands, but seldom vice versa.
Since your mom is supporting you (this sounds like i'm tlaking shit but i'm not) if she dies you'll be on your own, and need to provide for yourself. Surely that counts as a loss?
Like what if Wariats mom dies and didn't leave him anything? What the fuck he supposed to do? -
2023-09-21 at 1:42 PM UTC
Originally posted by aldra I'm not saying you shouldn't do it or that it's particularly wrong, just that you're going to come off as a vulture or something so just accept that. best thing is just to be honest I guess and offer them something they want in return for the policy - not necessarily money or tangible things, old people often just want someone to talk to or help them out from time to time
I wonder if it matters that my shot caller is in prison currently. I put money on that niggas books, I buy him religious books, I got him a pendant he liked better last week Thursday. He calls me once a week for 3 20minute recorded phone calls.
I talk to my mom once a day for 2minutes to a couple hours depending on how we feel about each other that day.
And my roommate leans on me as hard as I can on him. Truthfully we do kinda need each other and it works out well, a lot better now that he doesn't do meth the night before I have to college int he morning and I don't drink and become verbally abusive.
