Thinking about all the shit and the past I felt I wanted to out this down to text, whether you, §m£ÂgØL, read this or not. (half Baked seemed an appropriate section to post this in lol)
§m£ÂgØL, if you read this, I'm sorry for hurting you and I am sorry I brought so much drama, negativity in your life and I never wanted to to be that way, and more than anything I am sorry I ruined such a great friendship. I hope you do wonderful things and have wonderful things and people in your life and you have the love I couldn't ever give to you. I NEVER not ever wanted you to be lonely or miserable and fail. and I still will send that shit when I can- sorry I'm broke and don't have the postage to mail it right now- I will will I'm not in this piss-poor economical situation like am, although if it matters for you to know and you actually read this, shit in my life is better, my health is getting better. I am glad to be alive. I am glad you did get me help so I can be here now and I thank you for that. I have no resentment for that anymore- I know you were only trying to do the right thing for me and I see that now. I appreciate the friend you were to me when you were especially at the time in my life where I needed it the most from you- you helped me escape an awful person and supported me through a lot as a friend and I'll always be grateful for that.
I hope too you get help for your problems and come to where you're ready to deal with your demons and/or find a person to help you face those things- I see now I could never be that person, despite how I tried- I'm sorry for that and sorry for trying so hard to be. You can bullshit me and everyone else Al day long... You can lie and say what you want but when you finally decide to be honest with yourself about your problems, I hope you know and finally see nothing I said was an insult, and nothing I did was to hurt you, not intentionally anyway, but you're a very self-centered person, and again, that isn't always a bad thing, but one of the huge incompatibilities between you and I, and I accept you might never see my true intentions or the person I really am- that's okay and I accept that with no grief anymore. I really hope you grow up and really get to experience life- again, not an insult or to be taken offensively- but you've been very sheltered and I'm sorry everything to do with me was such a negative shock for you. I really hope you see past those things on the outside you feel is wrong with you (it isn't) and dig deeper to deal with those real problems on the inside - I hope you don't stay scared forever to do that, as it's the only way you're going to overcome anything and have long term success and happiness in life- you have good qualities and are a good person and I hope you keep all that, while refining and dealing with your issues to become even better for that special someone in your life or whatever it is that brings you happiness.
I have someone in my life now I never thought I could have or ever thought would work out because if shit from the past. You know who they are, I'm just not going to put that out here, not that they care, but it doesn't matter. Hell, fucktard knows who they are- I've known him before I knew any of you, and I hope fucktard does think about who that person is, if he does read this by chance, and thinks real hard about that... That he thinks real hard with who he'd be fucking with if he ever thinks of fucking with me and my son again.
If you've come in you're head to who I'm referring to, and if by chance you also had any care, concern or worry for my son, you should be happy to know he's doing well and also will have a really great male role model in his life come shortly. I wouldn't have ever guessed it, but he's been really positive about my son being in our life too- another reason I never thought that relationship was possible, but, meh... My life is weird and nothing is normal so I don't expect this, nor how it manifested to be to be normal either. I'm not like you and going to strive for some ideal picture in my head... And not saying that's a bad thing, its just where we differed significantly and one of many reasons shit could never work with us- I'm glad it didn't, to be honest.
I'm going to be moving fairly soon. Shit is on its way up, and I hope it is for you too. I'll still always consider you a friend and if I can help you ever... Well, I'm here- I always said I would be and I mean that.
Fucking funny how life works, isn't it? A person who's always been there... All those years. It took some fucked up shit to make that shit finally click for the both of us, but while I wish it hadn't have happened that way, I'm glad it happened so shit finally can get better for the both of us- which it is, and I know it will and I don't have any of that anxiety and fear and bullshit self doubt chirping in my ear anymore,and is Al the more reason I know shit somehow, some fucked up way was meant to be like it has-sorry you got hurt in it all, and sorry I did a lot of the hurting... Wish it hadn't been like that. If right now you're not happy and on your way up like I am, I truly hope soon, one day you will be just as happy and have shit go great and be in a good place soon enough. I only wish the best for you in everything you do.
Good luck, live long and prosper. Take care, be well, be safe, be happy.
(I really don't care to get reply so don't feel obligated to... I figure you'll read this anyway... No sense in saying shit we already know, nor do I want to go over anything more here - I said what needs saying- If you must say something in reply or wish to talk about it, you know how to PM me. Have a great life, and I sincerely mean that.)
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!