lose 10lbs in just 30 seconds with this one weird trick

1. 2023-08-17 at 2:53 PM UTC

   #1
   

   Meikai Heck This Schlong
   kill yourself
   
   (slit your throat)
   
   Kill yourself.
   
   (Exsanguinate.)
   
   Die. Die. Die. Do it like that.
   
   *You'll lose 21 extra grams as a bonus.*
   
   Kill yourself.
   
   (Kill yourself.)
2. 2023-08-17 at 5:07 PM UTC

   #2
   

   Speedy Parker Black Hole
   Cut off one of your fat knees you'll lose more than that.
3. 2023-08-17 at 5:33 PM UTC

   #3
   

   Meikai Heck This Schlong

   Originally posted by Speedy Parker Cut off one of your fat knees you'll lose more than that.

   
   One of my knees is titanium. It's hard to cut and also super light.
   
   (Well, not really, but there's a titanium rod in my formerly broken leg and it's screwed in there.)
4. 2023-08-17 at 5:48 PM UTC

   #4
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle
   Or carve all of your skin off. (I just looked it up. skin weighs about 10 lbs on average for an adult)
   The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

   • Meikai
5. 2023-08-17 at 5:49 PM UTC

   #5
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle
   The next heaviest organ is the liver, weighing in at about 3 lbs. The heart you ask? roughtly a pound, pound and a half.
6. 2023-08-17 at 5:55 PM UTC

   #6
   

   Meikai Heck This Schlong

   Originally posted by mmQ The next heaviest organ is the liver, weighing in at about 3 lbs. The heart you ask? roughtly a pound, pound and a half.

   
   mine is like 3-4.5lbs (i had my grinch arc/have heart disease)
7. 2023-08-17 at 5:58 PM UTC

   #7
   

   mmQ Lisa Turtle
   What the fuck is a grinch arc?
   
   I'm sorry about your heart I dont recall knowing that.
   
   Do people make a lot of "well, nobody can say you don't have a big heart" jokes? 🫠
8. 2023-08-17 at 7:04 PM UTC

   #8
   

   Meikai Heck This Schlong

   Originally posted by mmQ What the fuck is a grinch arc?
   
   I'm sorry about your heart I dont recall knowing that.
   
   Do people make a lot of "well, nobody can say you don't have a big heart" jokes? 🫠

   
   It's the story arc the Grinch follows. At the end, your heart grows three sizes that day.
   
   (I probably do have heart disease though, I'm fat and lazy as fuck and do meth.)
9. 2023-08-17 at 7:17 PM UTC

   #9
   

   Pete Green African Astronaut

   Originally posted by Meikai mine is like 3-4.5lbs (i had my grinch arc/have heart disease)

   
   Oh wow, You have that? does it make it hard to walk up hills or bike ride? that sucks. Are you eligible for heart transplants? Dick Cheney got like 6 of them over his lifetime. I think he sneaks off to China and gets stolen hearts because in the USA he's too old to qualify. not sure about Canadian rules
10. 2023-08-17 at 7:29 PM UTC

    #10
    

    Meikai Heck This Schlong

    Originally posted by Pete Green Oh wow, You have that? does it make it hard to walk up hills or bike ride? that sucks. Are you eligible for heart transplants? Dick Cheney got like 6 of them over his lifetime. I think he sneaks off to China and gets stolen hearts because in the USA he's too old to qualify. not sure about Canadian rules

    
    (It was a joke.)
11. 2023-08-17 at 7:35 PM UTC

    #11
    

    the man who put it in my hood Black Hole [miraculously counterclaim my golf]
    no its true i saw it grow
12. 2023-08-17 at 7:35 PM UTC

    #12
    

    mmQ Lisa Turtle
    What an INSENSITIVE thing to joke about. wow just wow.
    
    jajaja I thought a grinch arc was some medical term for like a pacemaker or some stent near your heart arteries. YOU FOOLED ME. fool me once shame on me.
    
    I guess I've somehow really seen The Grinch. Or paid enough attention to know about the heart growth thing. I have watched some episodes of Winnie the Pooh though. I wonder how much he weighs.
    The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire!

    • Meikai
13. 2023-08-17 at 7:36 PM UTC

    #13
    

    Rape Monster Naturally Camouflaged
    Mitch Hedberg died of an enlarged heart too
14. 2023-08-17 at 9:50 PM UTC

    #14
    

    Speedy Parker Black Hole

    Originally posted by Meikai One of my knees is titanium. It's hard to cut and also super light.
    
    (Well, not really, but there's a titanium rod in my formerly broken leg and it's screwed in there.)

    
    I've got saws that should through it like butter. If they don't work I've got a torch that will.
15. 2023-08-17 at 10:21 PM UTC

    #15
    

    ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ Black Hole
    What happened to you if you lost zero grams after death?
16. 2023-08-18 at 3:31 AM UTC

    #16
    

    Speedy Parker Black Hole

    Originally posted by ⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀⠀ What happened to you if you lost zero grams after death?

    
    You were a walking piece of shit.
17. 2023-08-18 at 7:31 AM UTC

    #17
    

    Pete Green African Astronaut

    Originally posted by Meikai (It was a joke.)

    
    Dont joke about shit like that. Your fag boyfriend could have it now after doing all of that meth. it just wears the heart down along with the heart valves
18. 2023-08-18 at 8:12 AM UTC

    #18
    

    the man who put it in my hood Black Hole [miraculously counterclaim my golf]
    ill rape , stab , gas and kike you , nigger lover communist california faggot bitch fbi agenty ill fucking stftab you in the 1i1yi1u i/o processor and grape your goatse and make you bleat like a ship
19. 2023-08-18 at 1:43 PM UTC

    #19
    

    Speedy Parker Black Hole

    Originally posted by Pete Green Dont joke about shit like that. Your fag boyfriend could have it now after doing all of that meth. it just wears the heart down along with the heart valves

    
    At least he's not you. He's got that going for him. In fact if I could only save one of you from drowning I wouldn't look at you twice.
20. 2023-08-18 at 4:19 PM UTC

    #20
    Jiggaboo_Johnson Black Hole
    On a good day I can instantly lose 5lb by taking a large bunghole ripping dump