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🍬🍬Candy~Land🍬🍬
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2023-08-06 at 5:21 PM UTCI hope everyone is having a Super Sunday Funday 🥰🥰🥰
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2023-08-06 at 5:27 PM UTCI think I'mma make dinner tonight, but i'm not gonna tell anyone anything and when my friend and his girlfriend come over, I'm gonna bust out a giant platter of bread sticks. Cuz I got this dough shit to make like 2 dozen of them, but you gotta oil em up and hit em with parmessean and oregano before you cook them, then when they come out, i will produce my (store bought) salsa that I hit with oregano, a cut up habanero and spring onions so the shit looks like I made it all myself instead of 2 cans of pillsbury dough, some shit i found in the pantry, and some salsa I put two things into. I even make sure I cut all the onions and peppers all shitty so people know it's home made instead of seeing uniformly cut vegetables in the salsa i got out of a jar.
Lil extra salt and a little sour cream because his wife hates anything spicy. So it seems like a give a shit.
Shit motherfucker i'm literally gonna make bread sticks and convince these 3 cuban people that I made all of it in 20 minutes, and im probably gonna layer the salsa with FireStick Jamacian hot sauce.
im fuckin killin it today, i came up with this whole idea in like two minutes.The following users say it would be alright if the author of this post didn't die in a fire! -
2023-08-06 at 5:29 PM UTCYou're idea of success is hilarious 😂
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2023-08-06 at 5:30 PM UTCI should tell them to bring shrimp and show them my famous cocktail sauce.
I make the sauce by opening up a bottle of cocktail sauce and putting extra hot sauce in it. I do this all from scratch with only two ingredients if you can believe it, cocktail sauce and hot sauce = my secret recipie. lol -
2023-08-06 at 5:32 PM UTCMy favorite part are where people are like "wow these mash potatos are really good." and i know it's literally the mash potatos from the bag, with double butter, and an 8th cup of sugar. lol people love that shit and im like what the fuck, bro sometimes if i don't have sugar, i do like 1/8 of a bar of cream cheese and people are like these are the best mashed potatos I've ever eaten and i kinda think less of them and everyone thinks that like two ytears I spent working in restaurants/managing that diner taught me something, yeah fat people who want to eat want to eat food that you improve by adding harmful (in my opinion, grease, salt and heavy creams are harmful to the body) without telling them cuz it's potatos or a salad or some kind of dip
people literally are borderline retarded and as a cook, i learned this. -
2023-08-06 at 5:32 PM UTC⬆️Adds hotsauce to ketchup, horseradish, and lemon juice and think he's Gordon Ramsey...
I bet you were a perfect little prison wife with all your shitty jail house recipes... -
2023-08-06 at 5:33 PM UTC
Originally posted by Bradley I think I'mma make dinner tonight, but i'm not gonna tell anyone anything and when my friend and his girlfriend come over, I'm gonna bust out a giant platter of bread sticks. Cuz I got this dough shit to make like 2 dozen of them, but you gotta oil em up and hit em with parmessean and oregano before you cook them, then when they come out, i will produce my (store bought) salsa that I hit with oregano, a cut up habanero and spring onions so the shit looks like I made it all myself instead of 2 cans of pillsbury dough, some shit i found in the pantry, and some salsa I put two things into. I even make sure I cut all the onions and peppers all shitty so people know it's home made instead of seeing uniformly cut vegetables in the salsa i got out of a jar.
Lil extra salt and a little sour cream because his wife hates anything spicy. So it seems like a give a shit.
Shit motherfucker i'm literally gonna make bread sticks and convince these 3 cuban people that I made all of it in 20 minutes, and im probably gonna layer the salsa with FireStick Jamacian hot sauce.
im fuckin killin it today, i came up with this whole idea in like two minutes.
I was reading this thinking it was Candy, and started thinking it didn't sound like her.
I make really good biscuits with flour and lard and buttermilk, but idk how to get it the consistency of garlic bread. -
2023-08-06 at 5:34 PM UTCYou ever seen a really drunk guy go "These fries are too salty/hot/greasy." After you do it for a couple hours, it kinda clicks.
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2023-08-06 at 5:36 PM UTC
Originally posted by Cowboy2013 ing w
I was reading this thinking it was Candy, and started thinking it didn't sound like her.
I make really good biscuits with flour and lard and buttermilk, but idk how to get it the consistency of garlic bread.
i said garlic bread but I meant garliced bread sticks. I'm making them into hot dog shapes, oiling, and placing them into a tray of crushed garlic & oregano, probably some thyme flakes, and parmessean cheese
im kinda drunk, i might just shove hot dogs into the center of all of them and put them in the oven at 400 for 22 minutes, served with ketchup or hot sauce or whatever the fuck you want go grab it yourself
We'll see how i feel in a couple hours. -
2023-08-06 at 5:38 PM UTCand folks this is how we do sunday dinner at bradley's feel free to come over and get really stoned, but don't bring anyone unless they trying to fuck both of us. hey you got food stamps? I buy em! lol I'm never gonna change.
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2023-08-06 at 5:41 PM UTCi think everyone will like bake hot dogs shoved into bread stick things a lot and if I cut the hot dog in half and stick a little french fry size piece of pepperjack into them, make them back together and shove it in the bread, the hot cheesy weiners (what i will call them over and over again) will be a good hit.
And ya i do serve straight people food and try to make the shit sound as gay as possible like "oh this is the slippery trout cock" and they don't speak english and I'm making fish, but they heard the word slippery cock and inside i just be laughin and shit
so here's your hot cheesey weiner folks, RIP Bill Bill Krozbyby. -
2023-08-06 at 5:42 PM UTC
Originally posted by Bradley i think everyone will like bake hot dogs shoved into bread stick things a lot and if I cut the hot dog in half and stick a little french fry size piece of pepperjack into them, make them back together and shove it in the bread, the hot cheesy weiners (what i will call them over and over again) will be a good hit.
And ya i do serve straight people food and try to make the shit sound as gay as possible like "oh this is the slippery trout cock" and they don't speak english and I'm making fish, but they heard the word slippery cock and inside i just be laughin and shit
so here's your hot cheesey weiner folks, RIP Bill Bill Krozbyby.
You eat like an inmate -
2023-08-06 at 5:43 PM UTCcaliente penis kaso
is what I will tell everyone the name of the recipie is correctly translated. -
2023-08-06 at 5:43 PM UTCA gay inmate
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2023-08-06 at 5:44 PM UTCi think that means hot penis cheese but my friends love me and expect this while we're getting stoned and i'm making fire ass fucking food and saying gay shit that I laugh at while we get high and drink.
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2023-08-06 at 5:45 PM UTCHope you're having a good Sunday, as well, Candyrein. If you're ever in the Miami area or want me to come be your live in sex toy for a couple months, remember I'm 1 PM and 500$ away from making your dreams come true.
but you gotta make the other white guy leave first cuz i am the jealous type and he seems way too into you. -
2023-08-06 at 5:46 PM UTCSmegma Dogs
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2023-08-06 at 5:55 PM UTC
Originally posted by Speedy Parker A gay inmate
In prison and jail I roll with the white supremacists and never at any point mention my sexuality to anyone, alone you end up in protective custody or being extorted by someone because you don't have a gang set. I did two little parts of my life in the joint and everything I thought I knew about being in jail and shit I learned at 19 was fucking wrong and this is real prison. That's where I really developed my love of close combat knife fighting, I had already really really liked it, but wasn't too like confidant, bro if we were in a hallway, closet or any narrow space and I was butt ass naked, I could destroy most men and learned how to bounce them off walls and secure fulcrum positioning (Which I was all taught by other white supremacists.) and like bro i loved to wrestle as a kid + an improvised blade or a real blade + a tiny box neither of us can leave for awhile, fuck man I just started excelling, I loved it so much I went back 3 years later for another slice when I got hungry.
it changed me in a really bad way and yeah I know that's fucked up to say and this is pretty much the only place I feel comfortable saying it.
When a bigger, stronger, more predatory male is trying to physically harm me for joy, money, respect or just cuz he wants to and I slide a piece of metal into his chest cavity and feel the warmth run down my hand and wrist, I like it. When I pull it out and, side note thank god i buy really really nice knives and shit, and still have my grip, bro I'm so fucking excited in the moment now that I went from losing to winning, and when I yell "I"m sorry, Be a good person!" as I look at them holding their chest, I look down at my hand and think about my exit, my escape, my story, my plan, and I'm so happy that I'm not being severely hurt by them and they are now severely hurt by me and my dirty 40$ knife from walmart.
Is that bad to feel? Does that make me a bad person?
Or when I have the knife and I Hold it blade side down with my hands over my face and everytime they try to punch me in the face it cuts into knuckles over and over again and at any point I can just lean out and jab with it.
I used to carry two on me so I could be double cool but as I got older I kinda learned how to use my left hand to hold/parry and realized the left knife was a liability for me due to the fact you can't grab or lol i can't think of the word right now but it's like grasp but it means to grab another man while having power position grapple! I won't grapple if i have this left hand knife and I'm probably never gonna stab anyone with my left hand unless my right one falls off or something, but grappling with my left hand on shirts and clothing is a big part of my technique, also just jamming it palm side forward so they look at the hand hitting tehm and then i whap them.
You played boxing with gloves on for 4 hours in the Army one time. We are not the same speedy fucknose parker. -
2023-08-06 at 5:59 PM UTCMy mom taught me how to block in boxing before I had my fourth birthday lol
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2023-08-06 at 6 PM UTC
Originally posted by Bradley In prison and jail I roll with the white supremacists and never at any point mention my sexuality to anyone, alone you end up in protective custody or being extorted by someone because you don't have a gang set. I did two little parts of my life in the joint and everything I thought I knew about being in jail and shit I learned at 19 was fucking wrong and this is real prison. That's where I really developed my love of close combat knife fighting, I had already really really liked it, but wasn't too like confidant, bro if we were in a hallway, closet or any narrow space and I was butt ass naked, I could destroy most men and learned how to bounce them off walls and secure fulcrum positioning (Which I was all taught by other white supremacists.) and like bro i loved to wrestle as a kid + an improvised blade or a real blade + a tiny box neither of us can leave for awhile, fuck man I just started excelling, I loved it so much I went back 3 years later for another slice when I got hungry.
it changed me in a really bad way and yeah I know that's fucked up to say and this is pretty much the only place I feel comfortable saying it.
When a bigger, stronger, more predatory male is trying to physically harm me for joy, money, respect or just cuz he wants to and I slide a piece of metal into his chest cavity and feel the warmth run down my hand and wrist, I like it. When I pull it out and, side note thank god i buy really really nice knives and shit, and still have my grip, bro I'm so fucking excited in the moment now that I went from losing to winning, and when I yell "I"m sorry, Be a good person!" as I look at them holding their chest, I look down at my hand and think about my exit, my escape, my story, my plan, and I'm so happy that I'm not being severely hurt by them and they are now severely hurt by me and my dirty 40$ knife from walmart.
Is that bad to feel? Does that make me a bad person?
Or when I have the knife and I Hold it blade side down with my hands over my face and everytime they try to punch me in the face it cuts into knuckles over and over again and at any point I can just lean out and jab with it.
I used to carry two on me so I could be double cool but as I got older I kinda learned how to use my left hand to hold/parry and realized the left knife was a liability for me due to the fact you can't grab or lol i can't think of the word right now but it's like grasp but it means to grab another man while having power position grapple! I won't grapple if i have this left hand knife and I'm probably never gonna stab anyone with my left hand unless my right one falls off or something, but grappling with my left hand on shirts and clothing is a big part of my technique, also just jamming it palm side forward so they look at the hand hitting tehm and then i whap them.
You played boxing with gloves on for 4 hours in the Army one time. We are not the same speedy fucknose parker.
Men who have been in it don't talk about it kid.
