2023-07-21 at 12:12 PM UTC
This girl I'm friends with asked me to go to the canal with her, I was already kinda drunk, this is yesterday at 11am.But I was up and said fuck it, she brought a nug (cuz she's the sweetest) and she brought me two beers her brother in law (Her husband is dead but he's still her brother in law) left in the freezer.
Bro she's such a sweet heart. She got this big water bottle with a wide top screw cap, and just chucked the two whole frozen beers in there they had exploded in the freezer so she just said fuck it and stuck em both in there, grabbed a nug (she smoke, doesn't drink) and came over and wanted me to come with. So I kinda lookeda ti tlike 2 beer ice cubes and poured a malt liquor over them inside the jug.
Worked really good, when the cans of frozen beer melted I got more beer, I just had to fish them out at the end. So I brought an 8th and she always brings us a a nug to smoke when I'm out, so we went through probably half this bag haha sitting next to the canal in the burning hot sun. She's cuban and older so 105 degrees and the sun had less of an effect it had on my vanilla glue colored pigment.
I got so fuckin stoned and drunk that I realized I got no idea how to get home (10 blocks away) without her. Bro the first hour was fun, the next two hours reminded me of Saunas of my childhood. So fuckin humid, I'm so fuckin drunk, I'm stoned as shit, she had 1 water bottle I wasn't gonna ask to drink the entire thing of, chain smokin cigarettes, there was like 1 spot of shade and I kept asking if she wanted to sit under it and she told me about vitamin D and about how the sun will clean the skin, so I got naked except for my underpants and sandals and asked if I could go in the water, they said it was a maritime route and I would be arrested for an hour and then given a ticket the first time anyone complains and they see me soaking wet.
So here I am in my boxers (They kinda look like swimming trunks I guess but you can tell they're thin plaid boxers with a dick hole) and she don't mind, she look at me when I strip and normaly I swim at the parks and shit but there were a lot of boats.
I threw a rock at a crocodilla but missed his face and it went wide a foot or two from his eyes (Where I aimed) meant to say alliGAYtor but same shit, it's like the difference between a goose and a duck, it's the same shit, and uh she liked that.
I got so fuckin drunk and stoned that I didn't post from 1 or 2 (When I went to sleep) and 9pm when i woke up all pissed off cuz I couldn't shower before work cuz I had to shit post and drink.
felt good to get 3 hours of direct tropical sun on the majority of my body. Eveeeeee, her name, is my favorite female in this ghetto I've met so far. Nuttier than fuck, 100% conspiracy theorist, and I love her. She's 55 and not interested in men unless they're paying her by the hour, i'm pretty sure, lol cuz i've seen her walking up and down.
2023-07-21 at 12:17 PM UTC
11:30 to 2:30 (two hours of which are spent wearing just boxers) is so fucking brutal bro, I didn't get sunburnt because Evee brought me sunscreen and told me how her son (whose half white lol) needs it too.
2023-07-21 at 12:18 PM UTC
Come to Miami's ghetto neighborhood and you'll find 55 year old cuban women who dont' speak english putting sunscreen on a pretty much naked guy as naked as I can get, while he drinks frozen beers out of a jug, chain smokes, throws rocks at alliGAYtors, and blows half an eighth on the rocks next to the water lol
2023-07-21 at 12:57 PM UTC
describe the texture of her vagina
2023-07-21 at 4:01 PM UTC
Just here to say it has been hotter than hades asshole after a ton of hot Cheetos in texas. Record breaking number of days over 100 consecutively. Luckily I only go outside to walk to the pool/gym or run errands.
FoxNews said this is part of the liberal agenda, can you confirm Obbe?
2023-07-21 at 11:24 PM UTC
Originally posted by Speedy Parker
Imagine any organization with "Climate Change Institute of" insert anything here in it's name finding anything but climate change.
Today's headline: Climate Change Institute of M.I.T. Announced Climate Change is Not a Threat.
Tomorrow's headline:Climate Change Institute of M.I.T. Loses All Funding
Then you have people like Obbe who just don't see it. They're going to hug that golden calf like a religion, no matter what.
The following users say it would be alright if the author of this
post didn't die in a fire!
2023-07-22 at 12:10 AM UTC
"Look! I Posted a huge amount of worthless and incredible garbage, instead of posting independently verified sources!"
-Obbe
