2023-06-19 at 1:18 PM UTC
When you have the next nose bleed of your life,
Inhale all the blood and wipe your face, make sure you're sniffing it, don't let naymore come out your nose if you can avoid it,
Look at the nearest person to you cuz you're gonna hit them with the prank of a lifetime
Nod your head up and down and keep sniffing, go to a sink, or piece of sidewalk/pavement (DOn't spit on their shit, put it int he sink a toilet, or outside) and when they follow you
just grab at your chest/neck/face look at them with an eye gaze that suits a man who is dying in their eyes
LOL
SPIT THE BLOOD OUT and COUGH, LOok at them
Your nose will start bleeding again,
make a gagging noise.
*LOOK AT THEM DEEPLY*
go "URGGGGGGGGGGGG make it sound bubbly and get more blood"
COUGH but instead of really coughing up anything just cough and make the blood spit over the tongue so it flies out
say
"I feel a lot better now, bro."
Look at them with a blank stare.
AKA "How to make a nose bleed into a horror story for your friend"
2023-06-19 at 1:25 PM UTC
i did this as a child, i did this as a prison, every single person u know will be so fuckin scared once each by this. When I was in jail I did it and this 63 year old man freaked out cuz I had inhaled all of the blood, and he was shaving at 530 (We had 3 sinks, 24 men, 3 bathroom stalls, there was nothing in your cell so you had to communally use water) so I walk up with a blood full of mouth
he's shaving
"MORNING" (we're both white) he yells loud as fuck
"idunfeelsoofeelgood so much
*He looks at me*
COUGH 1 cup of blood flies out of my mouth, straight up everything i could reinhale, I was up at 530am readin a book or some shit and I was pickin my nose a lil bit and BLOOD came out, so this nigga sees me cough up this entire cup of blood into the middle sink (He's on the left by the light and the dayroom lights are off at night)
He SCREAMS lol
this mr clean ass 62 year old career criminal ass screams, the POLICE C/O Faggots run in, and I tell them
"SIR I HAVE A BAD NOSEBLEED?"
'r u anemic?"
"No sir, im actually fine, but fuck man this was a good one, holy shit, look at that sink."
'y u do dat' - aging mr clean asks me later that day
"I Had a nose bleed and it felt like it was uh gonna be the end of me really."
'yeah but you started laughing"
"I thought I was gonna die *Laughs again*"
I do this all the time, at the gym, at home, everytime I meet someone I haven't done it near, if I Have a nose bleed, I d the whole OMG! prank to them,and my favorite part is where i tell them "No I'm fine" and am
2023-06-19 at 1:32 PM UTC
When you cough and a good amount of spit and dark red blood flies out mixed together, and start looking like you're dead, all u gotta do is get a nose bleed,
hey and if ua sick fuck like me if u get 1 nose bleed in the last month u can get another one easy as fuck, the body works like that.
I post this because i Have not had a nose bleed since I fought that ugly nigga 4 months ago, but if u have one u can keep fucking with people
THe sinus cavity allows u to have a TOTSE-Style possibility of different dirrections, u ever need medical care, hit urself int he face and run into a supermarket, let nothing come out the nose and take it into the mouth/upper throat, COUGH ON THEM and beg them for help
if u live ina first world country u gonna be straight
but how do i teach people the Biblia y BradleyB Education'e
2023-06-19 at 1:35 PM UTC
if I ever needed medical attention or an escape rope from an area, I would punch myself as hard as I can in my nose until I tasted iron, I would verify this by pushing the back of my hand against my nostril I just whoomped extremely hard, and if I saw that ugly ass dark red blob, I would inhale as hard as I could, this last part would be a repeated every in, through the nose, and hold it in my house, any store, nice person, ummm anyone i know, if someone did this to me, if they run up and just look at you and cough up and 80% blood, muscus and inspiration! 20% spit comes out and you say
Ayuda Mey, Help me, man, sir mucha, ahh
MORE BLOOD
120 seconds until they take your nose bleed ass to the ICU and ur int he bakc of the ambulance and they start like asking you all these questions
nigga u close ur eyes
n that's your 120 second escape rope if you fuck up in the ghetto as a white boy.
2023-06-19 at 1:37 PM UTC
& when I tell them I have medicare and my real social security n umber and real name they say
alright bradley here's your cards back and im already so fucked up on life that I just say thank you miss and he says "i'm actually a sir"
I"m like damn you gotta man and he says "Your cards are on the table, Mr Bunjabenga" (My real name)
2023-06-19 at 1:39 PM UTC
Sometimes when I am struck in the face extremely hard, it bleeds and what I do while I"m fighting is I get 1/3 of a mouthful of straight up fuckin blood and as we kinda like idk how to describe this perfectly, posturing and moving around, and kinda strutting with our hands up after he struck me and I stepped 2 steps back and held my hands back up, I spit the entire thing I can get into my mouth into his face, and begin striking as rapidly and hard as I can.
It looks ugly my people have said, this style of fighting is very rare, useit and tell me if it worked 4 u
2023-06-19 at 1:42 PM UTC
^ when people strike me while I am not paying attention "Sucker Punch" or Really fast 1st hit, I will often do this, much like my knife I keep, it's one of my like uh like Moves like in a video game.
You spit a mouthful of blood into someone's face as your second move, i mean this probably hasn't happened to him before,
I got a dozen or so moments I rmeember how it worked (sometimes it don't work at all cuz its just blood, not mace/pepperspray) a lot of people are unnerved by it.
to me it's a nosebleed cuz i got struck good once, fuck em i'mma hit this nigga 20-30 times while he's covered in blood and spit, as soon as he relaxes I leave
2023-06-19 at 1:45 PM UTC
I regret not making this thread in Bad Ideas under "How to turn a nose bleed into a meaningful situation."
2023-06-19 at 3:54 PM UTC
nope. I don't think my nose can even do that and i've snorted a lot of drugs and crushed up glass
i think i have one of those fucked sinuses that needs surgery when you're older (and im getting old)
