Originally posted by The Self Taught Man
One time I lived with a bunch of retarded people and got them all hooked on weed.
They were all retarded and because of my weed they started eating like crazy and the girls would get horny and not know what being aroused is so they would freak out and be like "IT TINGLES! MY FLOWERS TINGLES!" and some retarded guy would take them into a room and they would have retard sex (which lasts like 10 hours and makes a huge mess btw)
They would fuck in the bathroom for hours. They would use entire boxes of condoms in one session and destroy any bedroom is was fucked up animalistic drug fueled retard hedonism.
One time after a long afternoon sex session that started around 11am and ended in the late afternoon in the bedroom of a friend of mine, he went in and there was shit all over the bed. He put a bunch of newspaper and garbage bags over it and we dragged it into the alley and left it there.
The tard girls also would get violent and pretty much only existed to get high and fuck. I was the one who supplied all the weed and made my living off trying to get as much of the tards disability money as possible. None of them ever bought weed before so I sold eighths for $30, grams were solid $10, quarters were $60 an ounces $200. I paid like 400 a QP for indoor and mostly sold them outdoor because they would flip out and act crazy on the good stuff.
I gave a girl dabs once and she kept trying to dial an ambulance or police, she didn't know what one and she was fine just freaking out and really wanted to dial 911.
One of the girls, Amanda (see above pic) would wake up, walk into the living room and yell "I WANT WEED NOW!" and punch her boyfriend Jessie (See above pic, 40 year old jedi guy that didn't know she was retarded) as hard as she can in the arm and he would not even be mad or upset even though it was a really good punch and look like it hurt he just goes "OW! AMANDA!" in his nasally jedi voice, then he gets some money from his wallet, gives it to me and I give him some weed.
One time she punched him so hard she broke his glasses and cut his face, another time knocked a plate of food out of his hand and he just smiled and cleaned it up.
He also got her pregnant when I was there (they had been together a few months, i was there less than a month)
They have a retard baby together now.
My best friend (spacepantz) and I both endured this for 3-4 weeks one Spring while we were selling weed and working, made LOTS of money but at the cost of our sanity. Spacepantz is now in a mental hospital, and I'm a recovering meth addict.
I like to think we were good kids and that the evils of society and lack of eugenics is why our lives are so fucked.
That is the story of the Retard Rodeo.
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