Freaking... I'm 29, going on thirty, (the 28th) and... I mean... In all reality, she does hit the hash, but... Then she does shit like, fuck around and have these childish fits, and I'm like... "Yo, you do realize... Like... I'm just looking for someone to play house with." And she goes to the psyche ward... Gets caught up with all these knuckleheads, and brings this shit home. And it's like an undying battle, when all I'm trying to do is fucking simp out... And this shit, she takes it too far. Like, I had to sit there and police her in the car the other day, because I had to take like 16 benadryl just to baseline with here and keep her from doing some stupid shit when I was at my Brother's. And it's difficult, when you're gifted at such a high level, because every foul is a stone moving demerit... And I'm just like, "This is madness" and it can be overwhelming. And I'm just like... God needs to do something asap, because someone is going to get messed up at this rate, and I do love her... I think it'd be cool to fix her up, get grounded, and maybe make something of our lives together, like maybe make Movies or television. But this Monkey shit has got to go, that shit pisses me off. And I had to tell her one day, said to her, I said... "Look, you're making me feel like a plastic bag." And fuckin, it's not about being a nazi, it's not about being a dope head, it's not about being a dick-head... It's about being an adult, and being independent, and I really like our little cliche me Fona and the two women had. It's not about spending exhorbant amounts of money, it's not about getting high/fucked up (even though that stuff is fun)... It's about experiencing life, growing and getting the most out of this life. Blue corn moon shit. And as a man of science, I realize it... I get it, there is no magic in life at all, it's all about what you see in front of your face. It's like what they tell you at church, "You have to make yourself happy". And I'm cool with that, that's what I'm all about. But I don't like going to the psyche ward man, it's in the house. Right now, I don't even have a bed in my house. But that's ok, because I'm grounded regardless. Even without a bed in my house, I'd still rather be home, It's in the house.
And the thing that gets me fucked up the most, is all these people think they can go to prison and they don't have to worry about losing entropy/growth because they think they can just sleep on the floor, and that fucks me up so bad, because that's one of the greatest tricks the devil can play on somebody. And it aggravates me, because I tell these people, like... "Look, that's no how it works. These facilities are physically created to make you physically disturbed." And they just "lol roflcopter lmao lol" sit there and fuck me off because they think I'm mudfarming, and it get me so fucked up, man. I think it's from the fact people simply think that people can't be this rigid... And that fucks me up everytime, because that's another day we lose.
And on top of that. I know Milena knows... She has to. She's been to private wards, and she's been to the state wards... And she has to know, because those state wards make you feel like a fuckin scrub, man... And I have to tell her, like... Fuckin, regardless of whether or not you think so or not... Those private ward trips get you closer to confinement in a state ward one way or another either way whether or not you like it or not. Because those undeveloped people in the psyche ward... One way or another, see you in the private ward, and one way or another sit there, and fuckin, they all want company, whether or not you like it or not. I don't give a fuck if they're blind, retarded, disfigured... That's their house. I'm trying to get this woman to live with me, in my house out here in the real world. Fuckin, I get so fucked up with fuckin people and their fuckin dirt-dickin, man... I'm being trying really hard to be nice to people, man... Including the law enforcement officers. Because when I look out here man, I see rot, man. Fuckin' five-dollar bill ass shit man... I'm trying really hard to stay on a human level with people. Fuckin, bull shit, man. Fuckin, this My chemical romance shit got me fucked up. I should be out here building houses, or pouring steel. In all reality, I never should of been had my college career disenfranchised. Fuckin this shit is bull shit... And now a friend is dead, because niggas can't even be bothered to let this nigga grow and figure it out his self. Babies learn to swim on their own. The whole class, was fucked. And now I gotta sit around with dough boys fuckin grab assing, because they think I'm the fuckin relegated reading pool. And even you fuckin retards, it's frustrating man.
Disenfranchising, man... If it's not broke, don't fix it.
